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What to do?

post #1 of 14
4/29/08 at 4:41am
Thread Starter 
You have all heard about the problems with my neice and the car I rented for her. Basically I'm not speaking to her until she coughs up the $250 in cash she borrowed and the $1500 for the rental car and damages (plus the interest and penalities on the CC).

BUT, last week her boyfriend (and the father of her son) was shot and killed in an attempted robbery. Yes, he was one of the bad guys. I feel so sorry for her, but mostly for Camron (her son). The family refuses to talk about it (no one liked him - he was a drug dealer), but I feel so bad for her!

How would you handle this?
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post #2 of 14
4/29/08 at 9:54am

Re: What to do?

Gosh, that is tough. Personlly, I would simply let the money go. Yes it's a lot but right now, your niece needs you in her life to help her deal with what has happened. She needs family now to lean on, not to be angry over some horrible mistake she made in the past. Hopefully this is a time of healing for the both of you and you can forge a close relationship that will carry on through the rest of your lives. And the life of her son who desperately needs his mommy and family right now.
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post #3 of 14
4/29/08 at 10:01am

Re: What to do?

Spaggie,

I believe in tough love and I'm in a similar circumstance with my cousin. Agreement never fulfilled and his loss. I will not help/support or welcome him into my home until he clears up this mess he caused, period. I know from my own mistakes with things like this that they carry a lot of guilt and it won't go away until they have addressed it.

If she's young believe you me she will think you're a sucker if you give in, especially if she's lacking respect in her own life.


Good luck...
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post #4 of 14
4/29/08 at 11:11am

Re: What to do?

Oh wow. If you don't think she is ever going to pay you, I would let the money go.... It's past and you may not forget but you can forgive. And it sounds like she could definately use support and love. Especially her son!! My prayers are with them!
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post #5 of 14
4/29/08 at 1:24pm
Thread Starter 

Re: What to do?

No worries about Camron not getting my attention. They live with my in-laws, so I see him all the time. He loves his Aunt Brenda!

Brittany is supposed to get the rest of her trust fund next September (around $50K), so she will have the money at that point. And yes, she does have a jopb - a good one. At 22, she is making $30K a year. She doesn't pay rent or utilities, just her car and insurance. Her mom and grandmother pay for most of Camron's stuff. Yes, she's spoiled rotten, but she does have a good heart. I am the closest to her of anyone in the family (she is actually Rick's niece), but this time I am having a hard time. I NEED that money to pay the CC company! She put me over my limit and now the payments (with interest and fees) and almost $400 a month! I can't afford that, so right now they are getting no money from me because they refuse to accept smaller payments.

I want to be there for her, but I am still so angry and hurt about the whole thing! It took us years to get our credit back and she has ruined it!
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post #6 of 14
4/29/08 at 1:39pm

Re: What to do?

Do her parents know she owes you? I mean, if she lives at home, maybe they can put a little pressure on her.

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post #7 of 14
4/29/08 at 4:05pm

Re: What to do?

Quote:
I want to be there for her, but I am still so angry and hurt about the whole thing! It took us years to get our credit back and she has ruined it!
I think you need to call her and tell her how you feel. Tell her, I love you, and I am so sorry you are going through this. I want to be there for you, but I am hurt and saddened by the fact that we have this financial issue between us." Be loving but be honest with her. It's all you can do. I would try in earnest to get the money back, and if you don't, then it's like what Liz said. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.
I hope this works out for you. I am so sorry all this happened in the first place, and I am sorry it's come to all this now.
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post #8 of 14
4/29/08 at 5:17pm

Re: What to do?

Wow, tough situation. I agree with Tammy's approach, but I wouldn't let the money issue go. Especially if she has a trust fund waiting in the wings. That could be your only chance to be repaid.
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post #9 of 14
4/30/08 at 1:27pm
Thread Starter 

Re: What to do?

Rick is actually talking about taking her to small claims court. I can only imagine the ruckus THAT will cause with his family. And I can guarantee they will blame it on me, even if he tells them it was his idea.

We have talked to her about it. Her "boyfriend" was driving the car when it happened and he wasn't on the paperwork. He got pulled over and they arrested him because they assumed the car was stolen (his name wasn't on any of the paperwork). While they had the car in custody, they searched it - ransacked it is more like it - to the tune of over $800 in damages. So we are paying for 15 days of rental (was supposed to be for 3) plus all these damages. Now that Ferrell is dead, I don't know what to do. I needed him to get copies of the arrest report so I could turn it over to my insurance company to see what they could do (my insurance should have covered it, but becasue fo the circumstances, they needed the paperwork before they can do anything). The sheriff's dept won't give me anything, nor will the rental company (who has copies of all the paperwork). It's a no win situation.
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post #10 of 14
4/30/08 at 3:32pm

Re: What to do?

Goodness. I definately see that you need the money and I would be the same way..... It really stinks that you have to deal with it. It seems like one of those times you have to use "tough love."
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post #11 of 14
5/1/08 at 10:16am
Thread Starter 

Re: What to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dinapooh2
Do her parents know she owes you? I mean, if she lives at home, maybe they can put a little pressure on her.

Her dad died several years ago - not that he was ever really in the picture.
She lives with my in-laws (her grandparents). They have pretty much raised her. I'm not sure if my SIL knows or not (I'm pretty sure she does). But having SIL pay is not an option. Her SO was in a serious motocross accident not long ago and still isn't working. While they make/made good money, right now their income has been severely cut. Besides, it isn't their responsibility - it's Brittany's.
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post #12 of 14
5/1/08 at 12:28pm

Re: What to do?

You say Brittany has a job and makes decent money? Then maybe she needs to go to her local bank and take out a small personal loan to pay you back. That's what a responsible adult would do.
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post #13 of 14
5/1/08 at 2:21pm

Re: What to do?

I would be angry about the money and such, but I think I would be there for her for support. She is going to need it right now.
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post #14 of 14
5/5/08 at 6:13am

Re: What to do?

Tammy's right. You literally can't afford to let this go. It would be one thing if the money did not matter, but it does. I'm not a hundread percent sure she will be that broken up about this. If you want to know how I know this, PM me. I guess I just have a hard time having empathy for someone who has shown none towards you. She owed you this money long before her boyfriend died. It is a tough situation. I don't believe in tough love, but I do believe in protecting yourself. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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