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Another post started me thinking about this...

post #1 of 17
6/3/08 at 8:17pm
Thread Starter 
I know that there are a lot of people who used to attend church who no longer attend.

Sometimes they don't feel like they fit in. Sometimes they are seriously offended. Sometimes they get their feelings hurt over something. Sometimes the leadership changes. Sometimes it is a family issue. Sometimes they move away. Sometimes they don't believe what the church teaches. Sometimes they feel that the other members are being hypocritical. There are numerous reasons that I've heard of through the years. Some choose to find another church, and some don't.

If you've ever attended church and stopped, what was the underlying cause (if you don't mind sharing)?

Likewise, if you DO attend church, but ever had to make a decision to leave one church and find another, why did you leave your old church?
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post #2 of 17
6/3/08 at 9:08pm

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

I have never left a church due to a particular priest or anything, but I don't go for the priest anyway. I go for mass, for the gospel, etc. The rest is icing. Although I will say I wanted to leave the last church we went to because the priest used power point all the time and it annoyed the crap out of me. But I knew it was temporary (we were in a rental until we found the right house), so I suffered.
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post #3 of 17
6/4/08 at 10:38am

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

After Steve and I were married we were attending a huge church that he attended when I met him. There were pros and cons to that church...as there are in most or all churches. We left it for the following reasons:

1) It was too big and it was hard to really get to know anyone there.
2) They didn't have a choir I could join (they only had a team which you had to be REALLY good singer to be a part of - I'm good but there are lots of people out there better than I am voice-wise).
3) There were a couple of people at the church who didn't like the fact that we had a very short engagement and got married right away (met in November, engaged in December, married in January). They put Steve on sabbatical so he couldn't work the soundboard. We could go to church but he couldn't serve anywhere.

So those were the main reasons for leaving that church. We left our last church because we moved further way.
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post #4 of 17
6/4/08 at 11:00am

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

The only time I've ever left a church was because the people there really had no desire for growth (spiritually or otherwise). I think a church ought to be challenging you as a person, and everyone as a community, to learn and grow and change in some way. I like something Billy Graham said once: "The test of a preacher is that his congregation goes away saying not, 'What a lovely sermon!' but, 'I will do something.'"

Edit: I do go to a different church now, and I love it. Their Sunday School programs are all about really learning and the pastor preaches messages that have a balance of spiritual encouragement, challenges, and practical life application.
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post #5 of 17
6/4/08 at 12:14pm

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

I quit going because I believe different things than most churchs and I think it would be hypocritical of me to attend when I don't follow their teachings. Some people (like my mom) can go and take what they want and forget about the rest. I just can't do that. It nags at me. And the first time someone questions me about my beliefs and I tell them how I feel, I end up being told I'm wrong. I don't need that, so I don't go.
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post #6 of 17
6/4/08 at 12:22pm

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

Right now, we do not go to church. Frankly, I'm tired of people that make a big deal out of physically GOING to church. (NOT saying that's what you said, Dina! ) Especially those who judge without knowing what's going on. We discuss God and read stories and teach values and morals, but just do not attend at the moment. Hopefully that will change in the future.

I have two small kids, one of which has neurolgical and sensory issues that has a horrendous time staying calm in large numbers of people. I have to be careful who we are around, that Ry can get used to them and that the people REALLY understand that he has a neurological issue and is NOT being a "brat". (Makes it hard to get sitters, too.) With that being said, I have not found a church that makes you feel welcome. That's what you get for moving to the sticks.
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post #7 of 17
6/4/08 at 1:44pm

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

Well Kim, that's because your kid is a brat.







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post #8 of 17
6/4/08 at 5:57pm

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...







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post #9 of 17
6/4/08 at 8:21pm

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

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post #10 of 17
6/5/08 at 4:09pm

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

Quote:
Originally Posted by kdAlise View Post
The only time I've ever left a church was because the people there really had no desire for growth (spiritually or otherwise). I think a church ought to be challenging you as a person, and everyone as a community, to learn and grow and change in some way. I like something Billy Graham said once: "The test of a preacher is that his congregation goes away saying not, 'What a lovely sermon!' but, 'I will do something.'"

Edit: I do go to a different church now, and I love it. Their Sunday School programs are all about really learning and the pastor preaches messages that have a balance of spiritual encouragement, challenges, and practical life application.
Kelli, I love the Billy Graham quote! I also agree with you and like a church that can do all the things you listed.
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post #11 of 17
6/9/08 at 10:19am

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

I left the church because of two things.

A) I was tired of being told I was going to hell because I'm gay. That was really the deciding factor.

B) The church was full of those rich type christians. They raised $200,000 to build a new youth room complete with tvs in the rafters and disco balls. I really don't think you need a disco ball to worship God. I think that money could have gone somewhere else to those who need it most.

I have never been back to church and never will.
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post #12 of 17
6/9/08 at 11:20pm

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

Disco balls! No church I ever attended had disco balls - LOL!
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post #13 of 17
6/10/08 at 8:37am

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

Quote:
Originally Posted by StevesSweetie View Post
After Steve and I were married we were attending a huge church that he attended when I met him. There were pros and cons to that church...as there are in most or all churches. We left it for the following reasons:

3) There were a couple of people at the church who didn't like the fact that we had a very short engagement and got married right away (met in November, engaged in December, married in January). They put Steve on sabbatical so he couldn't work the soundboard. We could go to church but he couldn't serve anywhere.
How strange. That would really bug me too.
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post #14 of 17
6/10/08 at 8:41am

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoyBean View Post
I left the church because of two things.

A) I was tired of being told I was going to hell because I'm gay. That was really the deciding factor.

I have never been back to church and never will.
How sad. People go to Hell because they have separated themselves from God, not because they are gay, etc. God is love, I think some Christians forget that. Sorry you had that experience. Perhaps in the future you could give church another chance? There are lots of types of churches. The disco ball thing does sound pretty silly to me.
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post #15 of 17
6/10/08 at 8:48am

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

I think that churches go to great extremes to reach out to the youth and to be hip. Obviously, the disco ball was a bad attempt at both. I know our church tries and does a good job of reaching the youth in our community.
It's no one's place to tell anyone they are going to hell, and it's sad that people think that they are the ones to make this judgement. I think it's sad that this kind of thing happens in church. Jesus loves and accepts everyone, and as Christians, we are supposed to do that. We don't have to love or accept behavior, but we do have to love the person. Unfortunately, people often go to church, have a bad experience and never return. I think the one thing we have to remember is that churches are never going to be perfect because they are run by humans, and we are not perfect.
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post #16 of 17
6/10/08 at 9:31am

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

sorry but i haven't ben to chruch since i was 17 years old and will not go back !! Nobody practices what they preach by any means ..yes there are a few that do but for the most part they don't .. yes i hate when someone tells me i am going to hell because i serparated myself from god ... sorry but no preacher is telling me where i am going in the after life and they haven't died yet so who are they to tell me where i am going !!! sorry if i hurt anyones feelings
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post #17 of 17
6/10/08 at 9:41am

Re: Another post started me thinking about this...

Michelle, I see what you are saying, and I hear this a lot. Hypocrites are everywhere, not just at church. I went through something a while back that made me really question organized religion and my church in particular, but I finally realized that I owe it to myself and to God to go to church and learn about God and use that as a basis for establishing and building my relationship with Him. I realized that what the other people there do or do not do is not my issue, and I don't have to answer for it--that that is between them and God. People who don't go to church and who aren't Christian are guilty of being hypocritical, it just seems that when Christians slip or backslide people are quicker to point it out. Church is full of people who are trying to live God's word, and it's just as full of people who are great at talking the talk but not walking the walk, but I decided that I wanted and needed to be there, learning about God and doing my best as a Christian.
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