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Kids being kids?

post #1 of 11
7/1/08 at 3:11am
Thread Starter 
So where do you draw the line when your kids acts up? What do you considering kids just being kids vs kids not behaving?

I've been dating a guy on and off on our parenting is totally different. His 6 year old throws a fit an cries util she gets her way. His 6 yr old and 8 yr old also run around restaurants, pours sugar, salt, or pepper all over the table, and bounce on their chairs. His 8 yr old was running across a bench once in IHOP. What is appropriate behavior? Does age make a difference? My yr old daughter does stand up a lot but sits down after she is told. She's 2 and has 30 sec of memory.

What is an appropriate way of disciplining as well without making a scene?
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post #2 of 11
7/1/08 at 8:00am

Re: Kids being kids?

I would not allow that and my kids are much younger. Having been taught very few manners when I was growing up, I know what a handicap poor manners are in life. We are strong on manners. Unless they have some sort of sensory or mental health issue 8 is a little old for temper tantrums. I do not use booster seats because they slide around on the seat too much. Dd will climb out of a highchair in a second. But she is only 18 months old. We give her a lot of leeway.

I tell my girls all the time, "Good manners will take you places where good looks and good brains alone cannot go."

However, I agree with Liz on this one. I would not correct his kids either. He should correct them. Honestly, poor manners are a real handicap in life. Take it from one who knows.
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post #3 of 11
7/1/08 at 8:04am

Re: Kids being kids?

BTW, we don't use the condiments, so we just ask for them to be removed from the table along with any ads that might be sitting on the table. The wait staff does not mind at all. Better for them to remove the condiments than clean up later.
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post #4 of 11
7/1/08 at 9:17am

Re: Kids being kids?

My children aren't allowed to behave that way in a restaraunt ... and I'm pretty sure they know that since they've never even tried. That goes a little beyond kids being kids IMO. In the 6 - 8 yr old range, I think you have to expect some amount of movement (Zach tries to move from one booth seat to another by going under the table ) but as a parent, you also have to know when to put your foot down.
IF things get out of hand to where I can't improve their behavior with calm words, I remove the kids from the situation.
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post #5 of 11
7/1/08 at 12:39pm

Re: Kids being kids?

IMHO I would not correct them either, but that surely is not acceptable with our children and they know it
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post #6 of 11
7/1/08 at 9:05pm

Re: Kids being kids?

My kids wouldn't even try to act that way, and if they did, I would correct it right away. In your situation, I don't think I would say anything to his kids, especially since he doesn't see it as a problem. I would discuss it privately with the guy you're dating.
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post #7 of 11
7/1/08 at 10:23pm

Re: Kids being kids?

That is definitely misbehavior!
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post #8 of 11
7/2/08 at 1:41pm

Re: Kids being kids?

I really think that I would have to refuse to go out with his kids unless he could control them. That type of behavior is unacceptable at their ages.
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post #9 of 11
7/2/08 at 4:45pm

Re: Kids being kids?

I'm on the opposite side of this, I have a boyfriend whom has no children and I wouldn't allow him at the stage in our relationship to provide guidance and or discipline my children. On the otherhand, this is not acceptable behaviour and should be addressed in private with him. Perhaps if he's not comfortable doing this in public or around you then excuse them and have him take the culprit to the bathroom . This way you're not saying do something about this he can still decide his authority and not directly be judged by you. Even though you may not be judging him. This is a toughy!!!!
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post #10 of 11
7/2/08 at 5:45pm

Re: Kids being kids?

I agree with Brenda, Unless the dad can correct the behvaivor then I would go with him. Waynes kids were al little unruly in that they were used to getting thier way and watch out if they didnt. I told him early on I wouldnt be around for that behavior as my kids dont act like that and I dont tolerate that. He slowly worked on improving that situation and I have stepped in here and there because he has given me permission to. He had to change his and thier behaviors before I was willing to commit to a relationship.
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post #11 of 11
7/4/08 at 4:58am
Thread Starter 

Re: Kids being kids?

I try not to say anything until things get out of control- then I simply ask them politely to sit down. We are pretty serious and have talked marriage- although I am far from being ready for that. I appreciate all of the advice. It was helpful.
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