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What to do when a friend moves

post #1 of 13
7/25/08 at 11:46am
Thread Starter 
OK girls, I know some of you and your families have moved. How did you help your children with the transition?

My daughter's best friend, who was also our next door neighbor, moved away to Colorado. We went to see them last night & they left directly after. Lauren keeps saying things like, "I'm going to Colorado and me and "A" and her sister will play" or "I'm taking all my DVD's to "A" house and watch them. Last night when we pulled back into our driveway (we live in the boonies and had to drive next door) she started screaming, "NOOOOO! I go to Colorado TOO!"

I know it will just take time, but it's flipping heartbreaking!
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post #2 of 13
7/25/08 at 12:19pm

Re: What to do when a friend moves

Friends will come and go in her lifetime. I would encourage her to make new friends and inform her that eventually she will have new friends to share life with. I would try to use one of your own life experiences where perhaps you had a friend at work and they left to go elsewhere and you can explain to her that you use to do lunch with someone and now you do lunch with someone else.

I can only tell you this gets more difficult when school starts because not all the students return the following years and further more who she's friends with this year may not be next. It's hard to explain to Jimmy why so and so doesn't go to his school anymore.
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post #3 of 13
7/25/08 at 8:30pm
Thread Starter 

Re: What to do when a friend moves

Yeah, we have already tried explaining things to her and reminding her of all of her other little friends at school. This morning she's still asking to go to Colorado, which we will probably do visit sometime in the future, but not right now. I think it's going to take more time and reinforcement. I was just wondering if anyone had a better approach as the real test will be on Monday when Lauren goes to school and "A" isn't there. Just reinforcement and reassurance is all I have come up with.
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post #4 of 13
7/26/08 at 1:53am

Re: What to do when a friend moves

i have nothing to tell you, except that i feel sorry for Lauren

every friend that was ever my best friend for the first 14 years of my life moved away there is no way to deal with it imo

distraction, redirection of some sort?
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post #5 of 13
7/28/08 at 6:32pm

Re: What to do when a friend moves

Do you have a phone number for them? Maybe allowing her to call once or twice a month would help? My mom did that for me when I moved to Texas and lost my best friend of 10 years (I was almost 15). Being able to talk just to say hi made moving on easier.
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post #6 of 13
7/29/08 at 12:39am
Thread Starter 

Re: What to do when a friend moves

They have all of our contact info, so they will either call or shoot us an email when they get settled. I'm sure their cell's from here are still active, but they are just getting settled (they left Thursday night & it's about 1000 miles from here). I know we will have contact in the near future because the husband's always trying to get my DH to come to work for his company and they want us to come to CO to visit in the future, so we will see what's up with that.

At least today at school was OK. The kiddos played, did water colors and crafts as well as going swimming. Lauren only mentioned "A" once. She had fun with her friends and hopefully with the return of more kiddos when school starts, it will be more fun for her.

This weekend we did a bunch of fun stuff to keep her distracted.... tractor show, actual steam engine train ride, Madison Zoo, shopping, lunch out, etc. It was a little much for Ry, but I think it was good for all of us to get out and get away for a bit.
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post #7 of 13
7/29/08 at 10:48am

Re: What to do when a friend moves

i'm glad she was distracted at school. the weekend sounds like fun! exhausting but fun!
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post #8 of 13
7/29/08 at 11:02am

Re: What to do when a friend moves

Quote:
Originally Posted by KimmerRN View Post
OK girls, I know some of you and your families have moved. How did you help your children with the transition?

My daughter's best friend, who was also our next door neighbor, moved away to Colorado. We went to see them last night & they left directly after. Lauren keeps saying things like, "I'm going to Colorado and me and "A" and her sister will play" or "I'm taking all my DVD's to "A" house and watch them. Last night when we pulled back into our driveway (we live in the boonies and had to drive next door) she started screaming, "NOOOOO! I go to Colorado TOO!"

I know it will just take time, but it's flipping heartbreaking!
I am so glad you asked this question. Emily's best friend Catie just moved to Tallahassee right before we left to go on vacation. It doesn't help that I am close to Catie's mom, so my heart is breaking for Emily and for me. We have assured Emily that we will visit, since it's only a 4 or 5 hour drive, but she is still having a hard time not seeing her and playing like she is used to doing. I can only imagine how hard it is for Lauren since this girl was your next door neighbor.
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post #9 of 13
7/29/08 at 11:31am

Re: What to do when a friend moves

I cant even imagine being a kid and seeing my best friend move. I hope everything works out for both of you!
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post #10 of 13
7/29/08 at 11:57am
Thread Starter 

Re: What to do when a friend moves

Thanks girls. Thanks Tammy.... I am close with "A"'s Mom as the girls are friends and we were neighbors. I imagine that it would be a bit easier to deal with if we didn't live right next door & see the empty house every day. I just hope it sells soon to nice people. I just keep reminding myself that we still will talk, they will be back at Christmas time to visit (family lives here) and will stop by and that this truly is a great step for them and I am truly happy for them - which I really am.
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post #11 of 13
10/9/09 at 6:13am

Re: What to do when a friend moves

My son is very friendly, he makes friend so fast and after they go he remember them for days. If any of my relatives come to visit us by the time they leave he knows there each and every detail.
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post #12 of 13
11/21/09 at 9:09pm

Re: What to do when a friend moves

Hi,
The situation you're describing is definitely hard,
but the good news is that kids forget very
quickly...As the other ladies have said, she should
make new friends, and in about 2 weeks she'll forget
about her friend who's moved.
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post #13 of 13
6/3/10 at 8:31am

Re: What to do when a friend moves

Quote:
Originally Posted by KimmerRN View Post
OK girls, I know some of you and your families have moved. How did you help your children with the transition?

My daughter's best friend, who was also our next door neighbor, moved away to Colorado. We went to see them last night & they left directly after. Lauren keeps saying things like, "I'm going to Colorado and me and "A" and her sister will play" or "I'm taking all my DVD's to "A" house and watch them. Last night when we pulled back into our driveway (we live in the boonies and had to drive next door) she started screaming, "NOOOOO! I go to Colorado TOO!"

I know it will just take time, but it's flipping heartbreaking!
In this type of situation you must have to spend your most of the free time with your daughter or if you have no time for her then also must have to spend some time with her because at that time she feels so lonely. You would be also try to take her outside for riding or for some fun which she likes most.
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