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Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

post #1 of 12
8/12/08 at 10:47am
Thread Starter 
Your childs opinon counts because they are so much a part of your life, but you love to add this man into your life also. What would you do?
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post #2 of 12
8/12/08 at 8:50pm

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

I would pick the child over the boyfriend. BF's come and go but your kid is yours forever and has many more needs than a man. Love that kid as much as you can; he or she has already been through a major disruption losing his daddy.
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post #3 of 12
8/13/08 at 2:09am
Thread Starter 

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

Pam it is just a general question, not dating anyone.

I do believe in what you say also. My father when dating did not include my brother and I so when a person that was introduced to us, and their kids knew my Dad and we did not know there Mom, made us feel left out and not sure of things.
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post #4 of 12
8/13/08 at 6:07pm

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

I think alot of it depends on the age of the child. When my mom started dating my step-dad, none of us really cared. But when they wanted to get married, neither my younger brother or older sister liked him. Kee was getting ready to go off to the AirForce and my bro lived with his dad, so the only person my mom was really worried about was me, since they would be raising me together. Today, all three of us consider him to be our father. But what matters is that he made my mom the happiest we had ever seen her - I think that is what changed their minds.
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post #5 of 12
8/14/08 at 11:59am
Thread Starter 

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

Good answer Brenda and that helps a lot.
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post #6 of 12
8/14/08 at 12:09pm

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

I seriously think it depends on the age. When they are little, it is all about making the kids happy. But when they are completely grown and they just don't want to share you, I think that is when you have to live YOUR life too. I mean if they seriously don't get along, then that is something different. But if they are grown and just don't want to share, I would think family counseling would be worth a try.

Parents need to be happy too.
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post #7 of 12
8/14/08 at 10:36pm

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

It depends on the age of the child. I didn't like my dad's second wife and she didn't like me, but I tolerated her. I like my dad's current wife. My dh's brother hated everyone she went out with. I think he's gotten over that now. He's okay with her fiance now.

At five, I would pay a great deal of attention to what my child thought. At 15, less so. AT 25, I would be sorry she didn't like him, but it wouldn't be a deciding factor for me.
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post #8 of 12
8/19/08 at 3:06pm
Thread Starter 

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

I think it is important to have your childs thoughts too but like Wendy said it is also important the Mother or Father is happy too, or life could be wrong for all. One will never know.
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post #9 of 12
8/19/08 at 5:43pm

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

Hmm..
I tell my Dad everytime I see him that I dislike his 'girlfriend'.
May be rude.. but I don't care really.
it's not that i'm jealous, and don't want to share my dad, it's that I just plain don't like "her". Shes not nice, rude, doesn't like children, thinks her sh!t doesn't stink.. but I've got news for her. LOL

Anyway.. thats a tough question..
When kids are younger you should take their feelings into consideration, but as they get older need to find out why they feel that certain way.
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post #10 of 12
8/20/08 at 9:50pm
Thread Starter 

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

Robyn like you as I was older and my Dad was dating, I did tell him what I thought and I felt like I was being mean, but the person he was dating was not seeing the whole picture, just him and I and that is not the way it would be.
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post #11 of 12
12/10/08 at 10:19am

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

Overall generalization:

I would take it slow and give it time, if the child was attempting manipulate the relationship only because of his/her unhappiness I believe this would need to be addressed. If the child and BF really is clashing personality wise and emotionally then no BF.
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post #12 of 12
12/10/08 at 8:53pm

Re: Your Child Dislikes your Boyfriend. What should you do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabeacon View Post
I would pick the child over the boyfriend. BF's come and go but your kid is yours forever and has many more needs than a man. Love that kid as much as you can; he or she has already been through a major disruption losing his daddy.
I agree!
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