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Jealous of step parents

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
While talking to my SIL the other day, I realized she is incredibly jealous of her step mother. I just never felt that way about my dad's wives. I was jealous of my former step brothers, because he did so much more for them than my sister and me and spent so much more on them than he ever did on us. Plus he just seemed to like them better. I was a teenager then too.

It just never occured to me to be jealous of the wives and the money he spent on his wives. I figure she is his wife and it's his job to take care of her and spoil her if he chooses. My SIL is all upset because her dad bought his new wife a fancy car. I tried to see her point of view, but I was not that compassionate. At way over 30, I can't imagine why she'd expect her dad to buy her an expensive car. I don't understand why anyone would be jealous of their parents' spouses when they are well over 30.

I asked my SIL why and she said it was because the woman bragged and name dropped a lot. My SIL is the biggest name dropper and bragger I know, so this is pretty rich coming from the of all braggers. Apparently, like does not begat like.

Do you know anyone who is jealous of their parents' spouses? I called my dad's wife and told her I never felt jealous of her. She has step parents and doesn't get it either.

Once again I am vowing to talk to my SIL less. She also went on a long diatribe against my MIL and BIL. I guess if you don't agree with her and think she's the she hates you. Long ago I decided talking to her less is one of the keys to a happy life.
post #2 of 5

Re: Jealous of step parents

When I was younger, around 20 or so, my father remarried. I was extremely jealous of her. All my life he called me "Doll" and one night, I was at their house for dinner, he said "Pass me the salt Doll" and we both reached for it. Let me tell you.. that hurt. He always complained about money. ALWAYS. And when he asked her ot marry him, he gave her this beautiful expensive diamond ring. I had a half karat, hers was bigger. Not that she didn't deserve a nice ring.. but.. don't tell me you can't afford to do anything for your daughter ( Including only giving me $20 to buy a dress to be their maid of honor) And then spend stupid amounts of money on her. He took her side in a lot of issues she had no business even being in. There was a time I was going through some stuff and the dr had me on three different meds. SHE called and told the doc she was my mother. ( I was well over 18) And got him to talk to her about my records and my meds and my issues. I was furious. He took her side. "She was worried about you" no one bothered asking ME what the problems were. He took her side until My mother got on the phone wiht him and told him if wasn't careful he would never hear from me again. Because I was just that upset over it all. She pulled a couple other little things for a while and then it all just.. stopped. Another call from my mom I am guessing. So yeah.. I get it. Even now, not nearly as much so as then, I am well over 30 now, but.. there are times... "Daddy why don't you and Pat come see us and the boys?" "Well.. Pat wanted to do this.. or we were planning that..." I love her now even though there are times I just want to smack her.. Not nearly as often as I want to smack my own mother these days, but.. still. I get it. It hurts. I was his all. I was the only thing that mattered to him. And then suddenly.. I wasn't and to me, it was her fault.
post #3 of 5
Thread Starter 

Re: Jealous of step parents

My SILs dad is in Iraq. I told her the car was probably to make up for being gone so long. It sounds like this woman has not done near the stuff your step monster did. My SIL is 34 not 20. She still expects her dad to buy her lavish gifts like that. All this woman has done is brag and name drop. My SIL brags to me all the time about her $200 sheets, her new Wii (when they were super expensive), buys all new furniture every year and name drops constantly.

Her dad wasn't around when she was a kid because her parents where divorced and her mom and he remarried different people. His side of the story is her mom wouldn't let him see her. She hasn't been a kid for a long time. Her parents have done a load for her. They've let her move in with them with her kids and not pay a dime for anything.

Nobody's ever done enough for her. Yada. Yada. Yada. I just get with her constant complaints that no one does enough for her. Well, she's 34 years old, in good health and as far as I can tell she's held two different part time jobs for up to four years in all that time. That's pretty good for 16 years of being over 18. Her parents and in laws paid her way for all those years, but that wasn't enough. No one can ever do enough for her.

Pat actually did illegal stuff to you and steps in between you and your kids' relationship with your dad. SIL's step mother has never done that. SIL's idea of her dad is he should be supporting her finanically more now and leave it all to her when he dies and cut his wife totally out.

My dad told me he was leaving everything to his wife when he goes so she won't need to depend on others for money to take care of her. At our parents' age (sil's and mine), it's only right they are thinking of end of life care for their spouse. Actually, I would think less of my dad if he did not intend to take care of his wife after death.
post #4 of 5

Re: Jealous of step parents

I adore my dad (step-dad) and he always treated me just like I was his own, so I don't really have a frame of reference for this. Buttit seems to me that at her age, she ought to just "get over it". She's an adult and her daddy shouldn't be supporting her anymore.
post #5 of 5
Thread Starter 

Re: Jealous of step parents

I know. I like my dad's wife too. My kids call her grandma. I found out why my sil is so mad at our mil. Our mil told bil and sil, they are not moving in with her when he gets out of the Army. Since both bil and sil want to be sponges and live on the beach, mil felt it was necessary to lay down the law before this became a problem. So SIL is mad at MIL because she told SIL they could not sponge off her and to get a job.
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