BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Hot Topics › Headlines › 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

post #1 of 13
10/8/08 at 12:16pm
Thread Starter 
OMAHA, Neb. - A 14-year-old Iowa girl was abandoned Tuesday in Nebraska under its safe haven law, but the person who left her could face prosecution in the girl's home state, Nebraska health officials said.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081008/...bx2U6twzZH2ocA


Quote:
Many children left to date under the safe-haven law have been teenagers or preteens. The law mentions "child" without defining it, and as a result encompasses anyone up to age.
Quote:
Nine children abandoned last month were siblings abandoned by a father who said he was overwhelmed.

So sad! Now those kids will have PTSD from being abandoned as well as a host of other problems.
Reply
post #2 of 13
10/8/08 at 1:16pm

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

9 siblings? Why did they have all those kids in the first place then? What kind of law is this? HUGE loophole. =/
Reply
post #3 of 13
10/8/08 at 1:43pm

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

But if they can't, for whatever reason, care for their kids any longer, what do people want them to do? Just negelect them and not care for them at all? Maybe they're in such circumstances that they don't know what else to do. Maybe they have explored other options and this is their last resort. Whatever the reason, I would think people would just be happy that these children, whatever their age, are safe and will now be taken care of as they need to be.
Reply
post #4 of 13
10/8/08 at 2:18pm
Thread Starter 

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

It's clear the dad needed help. Growing up in Kansas, I can understand how he may have been reluctant to ask for help or maybe help just wasn't there. At one point, the mother was in the picture prehaps she died or abandoned the family. What this man needs is help not to abandon his kids. Hopefully, now he can get the help he needs and get his kids back.

As for the 14 year old girl and other teens, well, teens are tough, but that doesn't mean you just abandon them because they aren't little and cute anymore like a dog. Her parents do need to be charged.
Reply
post #5 of 13
10/8/08 at 2:47pm

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

Isn't Council Bluffs Annie's hometown? Not that that has anything to do with this ... I just recognized the name.

I think it's sad and there are definitely some MAJOR loopholes in the law but as lovemycrew stated previously, it is a better alternative to neglect or even abuse if the situation is that stressful at home.
Reply
post #6 of 13
10/8/08 at 3:54pm

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace View Post
As for the 14 year old girl and other teens, well, teens are tough, but that doesn't mean you just abandon them because they aren't little and cute anymore like a dog. Her parents do need to be charged.
That's just jumping to all kinds of conclusions. You have no idea if the problems were due to the teen being a teen or if the parent was having some psychological problems, drug problems, etc. I still think it's better to have the child in a safe place rather than in an unpredictable situation.
Reply
post #7 of 13
10/8/08 at 4:59pm
Thread Starter 

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

Are parents all over the country going to dump their kids off in Nebraska when they are tired of them? Or they become inconveniant? Or their new boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't like them? The state has to pursue this case. I don't think Nebraska has the resources to take care of America's unwanted youth.

Yeah, the kids are safe, but it's still wrong to abandon your child like a kitten on a back road. A baby is one thing, but a teenager is another. It's still child abuse to abandon your child like that and the parents need to be assisted or charged. Because Nebraska just can't be a dumping ground for kids. Can Boys Town and Girls Town accommidate all these kids that could be coming in if they let the parents of this one go? It's going to be hard to find foster homes or adoptive homes for these kids by the time they are teenagers. Besides, what if the parents change their mind and want the kids back?

IMO, the solution is helping the parents before abandoning their child becomes a viable option. If they need help supporting their child financially because of economic problems or they need family couseling, then that should be the first thing that needs to be done. If parenting classes are in order, then educate them.
Reply
post #8 of 13
10/8/08 at 5:38pm

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace View Post
IMO, the solution is helping the parents before abandoning their child becomes a viable option. If they need help supporting their child financially because of economic problems or they need family couseling, then that should be the first thing that needs to be done. If parenting classes are in order, then educate them.
Let me say that I completely agree with you here. There needs to be some way of helping parents who are considering abandoning their children. But we don't know why they're abandoning their children and if they have or haven't explored various options already. Like the dad who dropped off eight or nine of his kids, he was, from what I've read, not in any frame of mind to make any other decision than what he did. Perhaps most of those dropping off their kids are the same way. I'm sure there are some that just can't handle the attitude and problems they're having with their kids and that's their reason, but for most I'm guessing they have a solid reason for making the decision they did. Maybe I'm just too soft hearted and want to believe only in the good in people, but I want to think that these parents are doing what they fully believe is in their kids' best interests and not just trying to wash their hands of a troubling kid.
Reply
post #9 of 13
10/8/08 at 6:43pm

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

The dad with 9 kids was recently widowed, FTR.
Reply
post #10 of 13
10/9/08 at 2:51am
Thread Starter 

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

I don't believe it's the kids' fault at all. This issue hits home for me, because my mother threatened to abandon my sister and me everyday even when we where very young children. Her own father and his brother were both completely abandoned by all family by the time he was 8 years old and he was raised by an old moonshiner. These boys did nothing but be the children of another man when their mother remarried after their father's death.

During the Great Depression people could no longer afford their kids and just kicked them out to the winds. These teens rode the rails looking for a better life and were commonly known as hobos. I am concerned this could happen again. A kid gets put on a bus in Washington state bound for Omaha because his mom has a new boyfriend and it's okay to abandon kids there. But who knows if he or she will actually make it there? Or if when they get there, there will be a foster home or a group home waiting for them or maybe they'll be put in juvenille hall when they have done nothing wrong.

This man with nine children is obviously in great distress and needs help desperately. As for the girl whose parents just drove over the state line and dumped her...
That's just awful.

I am concerned that dumping kids could become an easy option.
Reply
post #11 of 13
10/9/08 at 8:39am

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

I think the law should be changed so that parents have access to other resources, which they are guided and supervised in using (like parenting classes, psycho therapy, economic resources, etc) before they can just dump their kids. If the kids are in danger, then of course, all bets are off, and the kids should be TAKEN from the parent(s) rather than waiting for the kids to be voluntarily given up.
Reply
post #12 of 13
10/9/08 at 8:59am

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

They obviously came up with these laws for a reason (and its their fault it is worded so loosely). I mean is the alternative that the father get so overwhelmed that he kills them like that lady did with her 7 children. If he killed them, we'd be screaming that there are resources out there so that it didn't happen. But he used one of the resources available and it still isn't good enough. Maybe he KNEW he couldn't care for them....maybe he KNEW what would happen next. Without walking through his head, we won't know what he was feeling and we won't know what he feels when he gets over the grief of losing his spouse and he realizes he left his children and what he did to them. Or maybe they didn't have a good life to begin with and they are better off.

But yes, I agree, children shouldn't just be dropped off and left unless the parents can prove why they can't keep them anymore. But at the same time, if a parent is going to leave their child, they are going to leave it and I'd rather it be with the state then the children left somewhere trying to figure out what to do.

Before I'd ever give my children up, my parents or my brother would step in and take them. I can honestly say if I gave my kids up without informing my parents, my parents would probably give ME up.
Reply
post #13 of 13
10/13/08 at 11:31am

Re: 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law

The entire point of the law was so that people could give up NEWBORNS/INFANTS, not just any child. However, the way the law is written, they have given people carte blanche to drop off a child of ANY age without repercussions. You can't then turn around and prosecute these people when the law clearly states that you can do this without fear of being arrested for child abandonment. The law does not state any kind of age limit, nor does it state that those who live in other states cannot take advantage of the Nebraska law. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that the law makers should have taken all of this into account whent hey wrote the law in the first place. There are plenty of other states that have these laws and they (Nebraska lawmakers) could have easily looked at how those are writtent o get a better idea of how they should have worded theirs. While I don't like it, I don't believe that any of the parents who had relinquished thier kids will be held accountable. Any lawyer worth his salt will be able to get those parents off. They followed the letter of the law and that is all.

On the other hand, I have serious problems (personally) with parents that are abandoning 9 kids at a time or teens just because things got hard. Things are hard at my house, too, but I wouldn't dream of giving up my kids like that. There ARE resources out there for those who need them. If things are that bad, Child Services CAN and WILL step in and assist a family so that they can stay together. That doesn't mean they will take the kids away - it means they will help parents find the resources they need to care for and keep their children. And in the case where the parent just doesn't want to be a parent anymore - well, those children are better off in the states care then they are with parents who are probably neglecting them or abusing them becasue they just don't give a sh!t about the kids.

In the case of the father of 9 kids - this is a perfect example of someone who is obviously completely overwhelmed and needs the state to come in and HELP! He just lost his wife, he's grieving and so are the kids. I would be overwhelmed too.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Headlines
BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Hot Topics › Headlines › 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law