following through on threats

Re: following through on threats

It will make a difference. You did the right thing. I will NEVER forget the first time I had to do the same thing with the boys...we had stopped by my MIL's house on the way to go to the movies and they were acting just terrible. I told them to calm it down several times and finally told them if they didn't knock it off that we weren't going. They didn't and we went home. They remembered that for a VERY long time and responded better in the future.
I'm sorry that ya'll had to go through that though. Tough love sucks.

Re: following through on threats

You've done exactly the right thing Andrea even tho it hurts you way more than it hurts them.

In my case it was grocery's, after spending almost 45 minutes in a packed supermarket a couple of weeks before xmas the kids would not do as they were told, were running around and yelling and making complete nuisance's of themselves so I had to try the fatefull words "If you don't stop yelling and running around we are going home now, no lollies, no park" and they ignored me, so I took a deep breathe, pulled my trolley away from the line (about 5 people a head of me still) grabbed the kids by the hand and told a shop assisistant we were leaving and could somebody please put my grocerys back, so sorry for the inconvenience, she was very good about it, and I then left, put my kids in their car seats and drove home, you should have heard the screaming as we drove straight past the park and went home, you would swear someone was in the back of the van ripping their arms and legs off. Or at least pulling their beating hearts from their chest. and yes, I was the worst mother in the world and they were running away and hated me, but they got over it, and the next time we went grocery shopping they behaved themselves, (just as well if I'd had to dump a shopping trolley full of grocery's twice in two days I think the grocery store might have banned me ).

Yes it sucks big time, but it sucks even worse being the parents with the uncontrollable child who will not even try to control them bc they have already given the control over to the child, that is truly a sorry sight.

Re: following through on threats

You did exactly the right thing! It's hard to follow thru, but if you don't, then he will think he can get away with anything. Krista is right - tough love sucks!

Re: following through on threats

hon you did the right thing. Following through on threats is soooo important. Its the hardest thing that we have to do as parents.....the most important thing to do is if you are going to threaten to do something or take something away.....make sure it is something that you CAN follow through on

Re: following through on threats

Well, I'm the bad parent who took their kid in spite of the tantrums, because she learned all she had to do was throw a tantrum to get out of doing things. I've had total strangers tell me on many occassions what a terrible parent I am. She had the worst and longest tantrums I have ever seen. If she throws a fit in public now, I tell her, "you cannot embarass me with tantrums." And usually she quits immediately. My dd has autism and that is a whole different ball of wax than a "normal" kid.

If this trend continues (which I don't think it will), PM your phone number and we'll talk. Sometimes kids throw these awful tantrums to embarass us or make us look bad in public where they think we can't or won't do anything. Kids are smart little devils! They know just how to push our buttons. Sometimes ignoring the tantrum and going about your way also works.

Andrea, if I had a quarter for every time my dd told me she hated me and her father, we would be rich. Usually she says she's moving away and getting a new family or she's moving in with Superman.

Re: following through on threats

Yes the whole make sure it is something you can follow thru on is very important. I hate hearing children being told that Santa won't be coming to that child on Xmas day. I don't know about you but that is one I could never keep and I don't think most parents would be able too, so they are either setting themselves up to fail or turning into mean, horrible Grinches.

and Lenora, dealing with an autistic outbreak is different to dealing with a child who has the coping mechinisms and refuses to use them. My younger two were/are not hyperactive they did have learned behaviour from their elder (ADHD) brother. That we were not going to allow to continue, no matter how much they tried to embarrass me.

Re: following through on threats

You did the right thing. If you let them get away with it now, it will continue until you can't stop the behavior at all. I have a 16 year old SIL that has been threatened her whole life and NEVER once has her mom followed through. She is mean, hurtful and just plain spiteful if she feels like it. But at the same time as long as you've been nice to her she is the sweetest girl ever and loves to help. She was so mouthy to her mom one day that christian was with them and he said you need to be grounded and she started spouting off to him and being mean because he stated the TRUTH! He was 7 at the time and knew if he acted that way the consequences would be terrible.

Keep it up, Andrea! It is hard but something we as parents HAVE to do!