My friend and I have been friends for 14 years. We are more like sisters then friends I dated her brother for 5 years is how we became so close.
About six years ago, her mom and dad hit a bad spot and her mother packed up her stuff and my friends and moved out after her 8th grade year (she is three years younger then me).
About a year later her mother moved in with her new boyfriend. My friend was enrolled into a different highschool in another city 20 miles away from her friends, dad, and brother. This is when I really started to notice a change in her. She did not want to go to school anymore, her grades were dropping of course. She barly made it passing the 10 grade. In the summer her mom and her mom's boyfriend decided they wanted a child, so she went and had invetro fertalization done to have a child. This was successful. This was really hard on her now and she opted to move back with her dad.
From there she did not go back to school. She got a lot of piercings, started haning out with people that lived to drink and mess with drugs.
Fast forward to last Dec. She would have been 19. I was so proud of her sticking to her guns about waiting until marriage to have sex, she did not want to be one of "thoes girls". With all of her other morals about life changing so fast that was one thing I kind of hoped would not change with all the STD's out there being on the rise.
About the second week of Dec she MSN'ed me saying she felt like a ho and I asked why and she says "I am being dropped off at a guys house to hang out with him by another guy who I have been haning out with all day"
I told her that was fine that she should not feel like a ho for that. Her and I both have more male friends then female friends, so it would be the same as dropping off by a female at another females house. Then made the comment "and besides your not messing with either one of them so don't worry about it"
Two days after the convo she calls and says "I have something to tell you but I don't want you to be anymore disapointed in me then you already are" I told her that I loved her dearly and nothing would change that. Then she says "I have been having sex with this guy for about two weeks now" I asked who it was and how long she had been dating him since she never had said anything about a boyfriend.
It turns out she was not dating this guy that he was basically a booty call. I asked her if she was on anything she said no, I asked about condoms and she said no that they were using the pull out method.
I asked her how many other girls he has been with "I don't know" she said she had to go after that point and hung up.
This Dec makes it a year since she has been sexually active and she has been with four differnt guys. Two has been hit it and quit its. One she knew for a week and the other for about two days.
She finally got on BC the beging of last month, she said that the health dep called her and told her to call back and wondered why. I said they prolly want to go over your pap test that they gave you when you went in for BC. I asked her if she called back and she said no, two hours later I asked again and she said no. I told her she needed to just incase they found something, she said she would, but I have not heard anything.
She is still living with her dad in a hell hole, no electric, no water bc they don't pay their bills, and sometimes no food in the house. She said that her dad came home drunk and hit her last week. The ppl that live there are getting on her nervs and she is starting to feel sorry for the childern that live there.
She keeps complaing that she don't have a job, but she does nothing to go find one. When I help her she says "I already tried that" "I don't want to work there" etc. She has had two jobs in the past year and has quit both of them bc she didn't like it.
I gave her info on two jobs around town that she could do, she asked me where I got the info and I told her about a website that "she already tried" she asked if there is anymore then that I told her "no bc the other ones have a requirement of a GED or higher"
Her response to this is "thats gay" I told her that was life and she needs to go get her GED and see if she can't get into a community college to get some kind of education and her response to this is "Why do you always feel the need to mention the word college every time I ask you for help finding a job? I can't afford to go to college, bleah bleah bleah"
She expets me to sugar coat everything for her the way everyone else does for her (her so called "friends").
I'm sorry I am not going to be like "oh yeah don't worry that you don't have an education past the 10grade you have quit two jobs after maybe a week for no good reason, you don't do anything to find a job all day, and you go out and drink and if booty call man wants a pice of ass you go to him every night and on the weekends. A job will just fall right in your lap, don't worry"
UGH! I am so frustrated, I watched a girl who had stright A's up until 10th grade, who would not even say two words stragers, would not touch alachol, who wated to be a photographer and go to Paris and have a carreer there and would be famous for her pictures of the most romantic city in the world...................to...................nothing but someones sex slave.
Please don't get me wrong, I do love her like you would not believe, that will never change, but I am just so tired of it all. She could easily move in with her mom, in a house that has a basement made into an apt for HER, have electric, heat, water, food, and ppl who care for her. But she wont because she is bitter about her step dad taking her mom away from her dad, and her mom treating her like an adult should be treated. I just don't get it, I suppose I never will..........
Thanks for the space to vent. I appreciate it.
About six years ago, her mom and dad hit a bad spot and her mother packed up her stuff and my friends and moved out after her 8th grade year (she is three years younger then me).
About a year later her mother moved in with her new boyfriend. My friend was enrolled into a different highschool in another city 20 miles away from her friends, dad, and brother. This is when I really started to notice a change in her. She did not want to go to school anymore, her grades were dropping of course. She barly made it passing the 10 grade. In the summer her mom and her mom's boyfriend decided they wanted a child, so she went and had invetro fertalization done to have a child. This was successful. This was really hard on her now and she opted to move back with her dad.
From there she did not go back to school. She got a lot of piercings, started haning out with people that lived to drink and mess with drugs.
Fast forward to last Dec. She would have been 19. I was so proud of her sticking to her guns about waiting until marriage to have sex, she did not want to be one of "thoes girls". With all of her other morals about life changing so fast that was one thing I kind of hoped would not change with all the STD's out there being on the rise.
About the second week of Dec she MSN'ed me saying she felt like a ho and I asked why and she says "I am being dropped off at a guys house to hang out with him by another guy who I have been haning out with all day"
I told her that was fine that she should not feel like a ho for that. Her and I both have more male friends then female friends, so it would be the same as dropping off by a female at another females house. Then made the comment "and besides your not messing with either one of them so don't worry about it"
Two days after the convo she calls and says "I have something to tell you but I don't want you to be anymore disapointed in me then you already are" I told her that I loved her dearly and nothing would change that. Then she says "I have been having sex with this guy for about two weeks now" I asked who it was and how long she had been dating him since she never had said anything about a boyfriend.
It turns out she was not dating this guy that he was basically a booty call. I asked her if she was on anything she said no, I asked about condoms and she said no that they were using the pull out method.
I asked her how many other girls he has been with "I don't know" she said she had to go after that point and hung up.
This Dec makes it a year since she has been sexually active and she has been with four differnt guys. Two has been hit it and quit its. One she knew for a week and the other for about two days.
She finally got on BC the beging of last month, she said that the health dep called her and told her to call back and wondered why. I said they prolly want to go over your pap test that they gave you when you went in for BC. I asked her if she called back and she said no, two hours later I asked again and she said no. I told her she needed to just incase they found something, she said she would, but I have not heard anything.
She is still living with her dad in a hell hole, no electric, no water bc they don't pay their bills, and sometimes no food in the house. She said that her dad came home drunk and hit her last week. The ppl that live there are getting on her nervs and she is starting to feel sorry for the childern that live there.
She keeps complaing that she don't have a job, but she does nothing to go find one. When I help her she says "I already tried that" "I don't want to work there" etc. She has had two jobs in the past year and has quit both of them bc she didn't like it.
I gave her info on two jobs around town that she could do, she asked me where I got the info and I told her about a website that "she already tried" she asked if there is anymore then that I told her "no bc the other ones have a requirement of a GED or higher"
Her response to this is "thats gay" I told her that was life and she needs to go get her GED and see if she can't get into a community college to get some kind of education and her response to this is "Why do you always feel the need to mention the word college every time I ask you for help finding a job? I can't afford to go to college, bleah bleah bleah"
She expets me to sugar coat everything for her the way everyone else does for her (her so called "friends").
I'm sorry I am not going to be like "oh yeah don't worry that you don't have an education past the 10grade you have quit two jobs after maybe a week for no good reason, you don't do anything to find a job all day, and you go out and drink and if booty call man wants a pice of ass you go to him every night and on the weekends. A job will just fall right in your lap, don't worry"
UGH! I am so frustrated, I watched a girl who had stright A's up until 10th grade, who would not even say two words stragers, would not touch alachol, who wated to be a photographer and go to Paris and have a carreer there and would be famous for her pictures of the most romantic city in the world...................to...................nothing but someones sex slave.
Please don't get me wrong, I do love her like you would not believe, that will never change, but I am just so tired of it all. She could easily move in with her mom, in a house that has a basement made into an apt for HER, have electric, heat, water, food, and ppl who care for her. But she wont because she is bitter about her step dad taking her mom away from her dad, and her mom treating her like an adult should be treated. I just don't get it, I suppose I never will..........
Thanks for the space to vent. I appreciate it.
You have a good reason to worry about your friend. She may have already contracted an STD if the health department is calling her. Forgive me, but your friend kind of sounds like a train wreck. You are right. Even the military requires a GED. Heck, even Walmart wants their employees in school or with a GED. With the economy the way it is, even McDonalds can afford to be choosey about new hires. Where I live there are a lot of middle aged people working at McDonalds.
) I don't know if she would read it or not. It's got a lot of hard truths in it about this lifestyle choice. I've read it. It's a good book. Sad, though.
