I want to have a baby. I have two step-children (6 and 3) and it's been about a year since I started living with them and their Father. We aren't married yet but are engaged to be. I'm putting all of the facts out there to provide all the context I can, so as to make room for some well-rounded advice! lol
My family loves him, and vice versa. I love the kids. They love me. We get along GREAT. Everybody is so happy with one another. I love and deeply respect and trust my fiance. Our relationship is incredibly harmonious. Great communication skills, similar political and religious beliefs, same parenting skills, congruent financial morals, we have been through similar hardships in our past and can relate on many levels.. but we are waiting to have our own baby. We are waiting because:
His three year old son isn't in kindergarten yet *when he is, day care expenses will be eliminated*. We will eventually buy a bigger home, and thus more room. There is enough room in our current place for each to have their own room. If we have a baby right now, we'd have to change the sleeping arrangements (the older child is female and is certainly content with her own room).
I want us to have a child not out of desperation or need, but out of sheer joy and readiness. I'm healthy, eat well, don't smoke or do drugs, not hung up on any bad dependencies that would negatively affect child-rearing.. my fiance and I are both mature, have steady-jobs, and serious-minded. Money is not an issue for us but of course you can never be too ready financially for a baby ('spose you could, but we aren't in that rare category!). My fiance is patient, wise, experienced, understanding of me, and supportive, and he too wants another child. Anyway, with all that said, it's hard to be patient sometimes.
I make it a point to stick my stomach out when I'm done eating and feeling full because I love the way I look with an imaginary child of ours in there. I know I do not have any of my own but I do a lot for his own children. I'm there for the good and the scary. The good behavior and the downright bad behavior too. Doctor's appointments, daily drives to day care, PTA meetings, school conferences, gymnastics, staying home from work to care for one who's ill, and so on.. I'm there for it all and I love it. I want deeply to have our own baby to nurture also.
Can anyone who has made it this far give me some insight? I certainly appreciate those who have taken the time out to read this. Thank you.
-kma
My family loves him, and vice versa. I love the kids. They love me. We get along GREAT. Everybody is so happy with one another. I love and deeply respect and trust my fiance. Our relationship is incredibly harmonious. Great communication skills, similar political and religious beliefs, same parenting skills, congruent financial morals, we have been through similar hardships in our past and can relate on many levels.. but we are waiting to have our own baby. We are waiting because:
His three year old son isn't in kindergarten yet *when he is, day care expenses will be eliminated*. We will eventually buy a bigger home, and thus more room. There is enough room in our current place for each to have their own room. If we have a baby right now, we'd have to change the sleeping arrangements (the older child is female and is certainly content with her own room).
I want us to have a child not out of desperation or need, but out of sheer joy and readiness. I'm healthy, eat well, don't smoke or do drugs, not hung up on any bad dependencies that would negatively affect child-rearing.. my fiance and I are both mature, have steady-jobs, and serious-minded. Money is not an issue for us but of course you can never be too ready financially for a baby ('spose you could, but we aren't in that rare category!). My fiance is patient, wise, experienced, understanding of me, and supportive, and he too wants another child. Anyway, with all that said, it's hard to be patient sometimes.
I make it a point to stick my stomach out when I'm done eating and feeling full because I love the way I look with an imaginary child of ours in there. I know I do not have any of my own but I do a lot for his own children. I'm there for the good and the scary. The good behavior and the downright bad behavior too. Doctor's appointments, daily drives to day care, PTA meetings, school conferences, gymnastics, staying home from work to care for one who's ill, and so on.. I'm there for it all and I love it. I want deeply to have our own baby to nurture also.
Can anyone who has made it this far give me some insight? I certainly appreciate those who have taken the time out to read this. Thank you.
-kma
