A lot of you know the story of Shane (Gracie's Dad) and how I moved in with him and things fell apart. It was not the downfall of our relationship but he became involved with another woman towards the end and is still currently with her. There was a lot of animosity for a while as Shane jumped back and forth, proposed to each of us at one point or another, and was generally deceptive about everything. That part of the relationship lasted through the first year and a half of Gracie's life but came to it's final end the December before last. A lot of the emotions from it have numbed ... part of that being because I'm quite happy in my new relationship but when things get stirred up there is still a feeling of hurt and betrayal. I have not had a lot of interaction with "the other woman" although I don't harbor (many) bad thoughts.
She called the other day. Supposedly she wanted to talk about my decision to have my tubes tied and how I knew it was right. I guess she signed papers to have it done after her (and Shane's) baby is born. Why me? I can't help but feel, because of some things that came up and comments that were made, that the phone call had alternate purpose. She made a point to tell me that she was not the first woman that Shane slept with while we were together and she was "Not a home wrecker" because she waited to have a sexual relationship with him until after I moved out. She also said that his mother has made some comments about me. His parents always liked me and not her and that caused some issues for Shane & "M" when they were starting out ... and still it seems. I stated over and over that the past was the past and I'm happy now but she felt the need to continue because "She has a lot of issues over what happened". Okay, I understand that. That whole, horrible, part of my life has altered the way I look at things too. I'm not a confident person and I have some insecurities and abandoment issues. But why stir things up this long after they ended? It was just disturbing.
She called the other day. Supposedly she wanted to talk about my decision to have my tubes tied and how I knew it was right. I guess she signed papers to have it done after her (and Shane's) baby is born. Why me? I can't help but feel, because of some things that came up and comments that were made, that the phone call had alternate purpose. She made a point to tell me that she was not the first woman that Shane slept with while we were together and she was "Not a home wrecker" because she waited to have a sexual relationship with him until after I moved out. She also said that his mother has made some comments about me. His parents always liked me and not her and that caused some issues for Shane & "M" when they were starting out ... and still it seems. I stated over and over that the past was the past and I'm happy now but she felt the need to continue because "She has a lot of issues over what happened". Okay, I understand that. That whole, horrible, part of my life has altered the way I look at things too. I'm not a confident person and I have some insecurities and abandoment issues. But why stir things up this long after they ended? It was just disturbing.
Please! She knows good and well the damage SHE did, and she is trying to justify it for some stupid reason. I would not give her or her bizarre phone call a second thought. If she calls you again, I would just nicely but firmly tell her that you don't have time/desire to talk to her.
I know the damage this does to your self esteem. All I can tell you is that I have a ton of respect for you--for moving on, taking care of yourself and your kids, and finding happiness with a decent, kind man who is really engaged in this relationship you are building. I wish I had half the strength you have.
You are a good person to listen Elaine 
