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How do I deal with it?

post #1 of 15
5/28/09 at 6:46pm
Thread Starter 
Drew and Ally are both considered "Special Needs" kids. Ally had severe ADHD, but luckily that all. I think we have just about got her meds on level. One more increase in dosage and I think we will be set. But I may leave her where she is for the summer since she will be so busy.

Drew, on the otherhand is a different story. Severe ADD, depression, and anxiety. Plus "obnoxious teenager symdrome" (regular teen attitude). I just don't know what to do with him anymore. This year has been one problem after another. He has been in and out of therapy, suspended, ISS more times than I can remember, he's failing 8th grade, balh, blah, blah. I haven't even posted about his most recent problems at schoolbecasue I feel like no one cares to hear about it anymore.

Frankly, I just dont' want to deal with it anymore, but I have to. So how do I cope without going back on meds myself? I absolutely REFUSE to go back on medication, even for my child. That means Rick ends up handling most of the problems with Drew, but I just can't do that to myself again - being dependant on drugs just to get thru the day. I have a hard enought ime dealing with the menopause and fighting off the mood swings. I don't need depression and anxiety on top of it!

Plus, Ally get short changed because we are always focused on Drew. So then she starts acting up. It's not fair! I didnt ask for this! I don't want it! I never wanted to be a SAHM, yet here I am stuck at home!
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post #2 of 15
5/28/09 at 6:58pm

Re: How do I deal with it?

oh im sorry to hear that. I dont really have any advice because i havent been in such a situation but stay true to yourself..pray always about your kids and the problems..
and have your hubby..man 2 man him if you need to..
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post #3 of 15
6/18/09 at 1:02am

Re: How do I deal with it?

Brenda, I hear ya!
My son is in 8th grade, and I've had problems with him since he turned 8.
I'm embarrassed to say he gets suspended at least 1 day a week on average! And he only has half day schools!
I have recently started taking meds again(I kinda weaned off for a few months). Somedays, I feel I am either going to go insane, or hurt someone! The meds make me sleep alot, but sometimes I feel, I just cannot cope and would rather sleep!
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post #4 of 15
6/18/09 at 8:29am

Re: How do I deal with it?

I feel your pain. There is a good reason for Mother's Day. We deserve one day a year to be recognized for the other 364 days.
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post #5 of 15
6/18/09 at 10:11pm
Thread Starter 

Re: How do I deal with it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheyanne View Post
Brenda, I hear ya!
My son is in 8th grade, and I've had problems with him since he turned 8.
I'm embarrassed to say he gets suspended at least 1 day a week on average! And he only has half day schools!
I have recently started taking meds again(I kinda weaned off for a few months). Somedays, I feel I am either going to go insane, or hurt someone! The meds make me sleep alot, but sometimes I feel, I just cannot cope and would rather sleep!
It's nice to know I'm not the only one. I feel like crying more times that I would ever admit. The worst part is knowing that he is so frickin smart it's scary. His IQ is almost genius level, but he's so lazy and refuses to do homework, which is 40% of his grade. He will be 15 in August and repeating 8th grade. Those were the kids we made fun of. I don't want that for him. He has enough other problems. But then I have to think, what the hell did I do wrong or am I still doing wrong for him to be like this?
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post #6 of 15
6/19/09 at 12:57am

Re: How do I deal with it?

You didn't do anything wrong. Genetics doesn't always work in our favor.
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post #7 of 15
6/19/09 at 9:38am

Re: How do I deal with it?

I have similar problems with Brandon. All I can say is hang in there. One day he'll mature and it'll be fine.
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post #8 of 15
6/20/09 at 4:41am

Re: How do I deal with it?

Yeah, I still get the "look" from the teachers. Even though they, "know" how Brady is.
I so hope it's a big "lack of maturity", I"m am scared of where my son might "go in life" as he gets older.
Brady is no genious, that's been shown through testing, he's very street smart though, and way too bold, for his own good.
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post #9 of 15
6/25/09 at 9:45pm
Thread Starter 

Re: How do I deal with it?

Drew only "thinks" he is street smart. That in itself is scary. I am so stressed, and it's beginning to show in my body. My hair is thinning out, my back, shoulders and butt hurt, I get headaches all the time. Rick is finally starting to notice cause I am constantly taking meds now. It's the only way to keep the pain at bay. My bad teeth only add to the mix. I'm tired of feeling like a failure as a mom, tired of being in pain all the time, tired of yelling, screaming and generally not knowing what to do. *sigh*

Rick and I have already talked to him about quitting school. If, when he turns 16, he wants to quit, we will sign the papers. The deal is, he has 1 year to go thru the schooling and get his GED. Then he has to go to community college or some type of technical school and get either a 2 year degree or some type of certification. If he doesn't, the day he turns 18, he is out the door. I realize that not eveyone can do the traditional school setting. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna support him for the rest of my life.
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post #10 of 15
7/21/09 at 12:00pm
Thread Starter 

Re: How do I deal with it?

She doesn't have problems with carbs - which we have to watch anyway because DH has diabetes. They only thing that triggers her is caffeine, which is severely limited in our house. Believe me, there isn't an ADHD study out there that I haven't read up on. Since both my kids have it, I keepup to date with all that stuff.

BTW - carbs do that to EVERYONE, not just ADHD people. Carbs turn to pure sugar when they hit your system, so everyone is affected by them. ADHD people are simply affected MORE. Just an FYI.
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post #11 of 15
7/21/09 at 1:18pm

Re: How do I deal with it?

I am not all that hip on controlling kids' problems through diet. My dd has autism regardless of what she eats. I don't think Ally's diet is a problem either, Brenda.
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post #12 of 15
7/21/09 at 1:57pm

Re: How do I deal with it?

Im sorry Brenda, I may not have great advice, but I can offer
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post #13 of 15
9/1/09 at 4:33pm

Re: How do I deal with it?

I am so sorry Brenda, I wish i could be of any help to you. But the only thing i could do is pray for you. Sometimes prayer changes fate so pray and have patience.
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post #14 of 15
9/1/09 at 9:06pm

Re: How do I deal with it?

How's it going with Drew, Brenda? Keep me updated. I'm interested.
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post #15 of 15
9/2/09 at 5:52pm
Thread Starter 

Re: How do I deal with it?

Well, we got his school changed. The first week went well, Then, Rick got a call from one of his teachers yesterday. I was drugged up and asleep. Apparently, Drew refused to do a classroom assignment. Rick and I will talk about it tonight when he gets home.

All I can say is I'm done. He wants to be a world class failure, so be it. But he needs to find soemwhere else to live. I'm not doing this anymore.
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