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I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
I need to get this out.
I mentioned in another post last week, how my daughter was pregnant and her and her boyfriend were living with his parents.

Well, 3 days ago, I get a phone call, from his mother. I have never met her or talked to her before.
She goes on to tell me, how her marriage is falling apart because of the kids living there(I am assuming though she means my daughter).
She asks me, do I not have the means to take her back to live with me, and how Shauna is sick(morning sickness, I imagine,) and how she thinks , Shauna should be with me!
WTF!?!?
I haven't talked here alot about the problems lately I've had with my kids over the last few years, but with Shauna, well, she has always done what she has wanted! I have bent over backwards for her, and have never gotten the respect from her. Shauna has not lived with me in over a year! Her choice.
In fact she just got an apartment at the beginning of June, in TO by herself, her choice.
Then her bf goes there, stays a week, then a week later, they are moving in to his parents house.

Now here is the shocking part! I can't believe the nerve of that woman!!!
She tells me, no word of a lie, that if I won't take Shauna back to live with me, I am not to call her house, and she will be a mother to her if I can't!

Have I missed something here?

I did send Shauna a message on the computer telling her his mother called, and I was told not to call the house, so for her to not expect me to call her there again!

On the plus side, she did say Shauna is respectful, helps out around the house, so on............so WTF!!!

Is the woman bipolar???
The kids did tell me, that she gets in "moods" without her meds, long before the kids lived there, I will add, and sometimes leaves the house and doesn't come back until the next day

I am pi$$ed off this woman talked to me like this!
I don't know if should tell the kids everything she said, or just leave it alone!
post #2 of 10

Re: I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

That is bizarre. It sounds like the woman is suffering from some sort of mental illness. The best thing they can do is move out on their own as soon as possible. That's a crowded living situation and the parents to be would probably be happier in their own place anyway.

Whether Shauna talks to you or not is entirely up to Shauna - not her future MIL. I would be sort of ticked if I were her. What a control freak! It's not up to the mil who your dd talks to and who she doesn't. It seems to me that's up to Shauna.

I don't know if I'd tell her or not. That's a tricky situation. *hugs*
post #3 of 10

Re: I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

My personal opinion is that Shauna chose her path, let her deal with it. I would be mad too because this woman just called you up and basically did all the talking, never giving you a chance to say much of anything. But the bottom line is, Shauna made her choices, and those choices have consequences. If she wonders why you aren't calling her, then I would tell her, otherwise, I would leave it alone.
post #4 of 10
Thread Starter 

Re: I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

Well, I think I will only tell them if they ask.
Like I said I did mention the mother called.
I have a feeling the kids will make "light" of the whole thing.
Shauna has called everyday since then, but I haven't been home to take her call.
I think this woman is just trying to be manipulative with the kids, and that's fine, her house her rules, but she isn't running my life that's for sure.
Funny thing too, her own daughter is also pregnant, living with her own boyfriend.
It seems like she is trying to keep her son on a short leash.
post #5 of 10

Re: I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

Yep... sounds like Mommy has a leash.
I think your plan is the best one, you told them she called and leave it there. I would still call the house whenever I wanted to talk to my daughter, and I might mention to Shauna that she is always welcome at home. Beyond that... not unless they asked for details. The flip side is that Shauna may have told them you told her not to come home etc... Keep that in mind, you don't know what his mom has been told about you.
post #6 of 10

Re: I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

I'd be upset just that I didn't get a chance to defend myself. She has to know that your daughter was living on her own and making her own life (away from home) before she moved in with them. I just wonder what she was told to make her react the way she did...
post #7 of 10
Thread Starter 

Re: I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

Well, I talked to the kids today.
After they brought it up I did explain briefly.
I guess after the phone call, "mother" got a case of the I'm sorrys.
She did tell them she called me, and was then sorry. Now weather that was after the husband, and son gave her crap, I don't know.
And supposedly it was her meds(or lack of meds) talking.
I am glad I didn't get angry with her on the phone.
And yes, I have wondered too, if Shauna had maybe made her think, just a bit even, that she wanted to be here.
post #8 of 10

Re: I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

Well, I hope everything turns out for the best. Shauna needs to think about whether she really wnats to have a child of hers living in that house. With THAT woman. If her meds make her like that, I sure wouldn't!
post #9 of 10
Thread Starter 

Re: I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

I talked to Shauna today about this again.
She said most likely they will be getting their own place before the baby comes.
He has a good job, so that's good anyway.
I told her too, to just keep out of her way, when she is in a "mood".
post #10 of 10

Re: I don't know if I am more sad then angry, or what?

You have done the right thing and that is all you can do. Your daughter has made her choices and she needs to learn to live with the consequences.....as for the boys mother....WTF is she smoking some wierd stuff or what???? HOw many mixed messages can that lady really leave in one phone call???????
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