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19 years has come and gone

post #1 of 17
10/16/09 at 3:43pm
Thread Starter 
I can not believe my daughter will be 19 on the 25th of Oct. Makes me want to bawl. Some days I feel like I have been the worst mom there is and others I feel awful because of all the plans I had planned in my head and never got to do. Why do our kids have to grow up so fast?

Another question are they done being a teen at age 20 or is it 21? I am thinking it is 20 drawing a blonde moment here.
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post #2 of 17
10/16/09 at 7:12pm

re: 19 years has come and gone

You've been a great mom. You've always been there for Alicia.
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post #3 of 17
10/17/09 at 1:43am
Thread Starter 

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Thanks Lenora, I really appreciate your words.

Title of this should of read 19 years has come and gone, not 9 years, wish Alisha was nine. That has long passed.

I don't know I feel like I have failed her, failed me, sometimes.
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post #4 of 17
10/17/09 at 12:21pm

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Annie, remember you are coming off antid's which is causing your feelings to be out of whack. I saw everything that went on with your dd over the years. I don't think there's a mother out there who could have done more for a daughter. You never gave up on her or quit which I am sure was really hard at times. I am guessing you are feeling guilty about moving and having your own life now. You did not leave her all alone in Iowa. She has her father, other family and her friends. You are only a phone call or an internet connection away if she needs you. Alicia is an adult now and there will be growing pains, but it is time for her life to be her own and for her to make all her own decisions. She has a safety net if she needs it. I imagine this time is harder for you than for her. Maree is off in NZ visiting family and friends, but if she were here, I am sure she would say the same things. If you are not Facebook friends with her, I will send you a friend suggestion. She is probably going through some of the same things you are since her twins are 17 and graduated recently from trade school.
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post #5 of 17
10/18/09 at 3:49pm
Thread Starter 

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Thank you Lenora for all your kind words. I really do have my days with this. I guess I am feeling pretty good right now. Alisha is going to come home with me on the 26th of Oct. and stay a couple of weeks. I am really looking forward to that.
I do have Maree as a friend on Facebook, thanks for thinking of us that way. Never really thought about the twins getting ready to move on too.
Your wisdom means a lot to me, thank you.
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post #6 of 17
10/18/09 at 6:59pm

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Annie, I can only imagine how you feel. Emily is only 6, and some days I feel like I am not all the mom I should or could be either. I think we all go through this, and I agree with Lenora that your feelings are stemming in part from coming off all your meds. I know you have been a great mom to Alicia, and I know you have done your best. I hope the two of you enjoy her visit when she gets to Indiana!
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post #7 of 17
10/18/09 at 11:45pm

Re: 19 years has come and gone

I can't believe how quickly they grow up. Lauren will be 5 on Oct 26th. How the hell did THAT happen? LOL...

As for being a good Mom, of course you are. Never doubt that for a minute. We all have our ups and downs.... no one is perfect. Alisha loves you and that is all that will ever matter.
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post #8 of 17
10/19/09 at 12:11am

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Annie, if you were feeling down, why didn't you call me? This friendship works both way, you know! I'm here for you when you need me, sweetie!

And for the record, you are a GREAT mom! All of us feel like we could do better or be better at some point. Hell, I feel that way most days. Dealing with special needs takes alot and you gave it your all each and every day. If you don't believe me, then just ask Alisha! I love you, Annie!
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post #9 of 17
10/19/09 at 11:08am
Thread Starter 

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Thank you girls, sometimes I just need the pick me up from people that really know me and know what i have been through. I am feeling lots better. Thank you for all your kind words.
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post #10 of 17
10/20/09 at 10:46am

Re: 19 years has come and gone

wow its amazing how time flies. Please tell Alisha that we all wish her a happy bday!!!
You are a great mom and you have always been there for her, especially when she was going through a lot of harsh stuff. You are a great mom and she is a fantastic person. she is the person she is today because of you!!!
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post #11 of 17
10/20/09 at 11:27am

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Annie, we talked yesterday. (She sounded good, ladies!) It was so great and I wish I could have talked longer. I know I'm supposed to call you today, but Rick ishome not feeling well and I have to find a dr that will see Drew for an ingrown toenail. His ped has asked (automated call) that we not bring our kids in for the next 2-3 weeks unless we absolutely have to. They are so swamped with flu cases (especially 3-6 yo), that they have brought in another dr to help out and are referring alot of the daily cases to other peds. So I am waiting on ins to call me w/ the names of some podiatrists in my area to see if I can get him him. Poor guy can barely walk!
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post #12 of 17
10/20/09 at 3:23pm

Re: 19 years has come and gone

ingrown toe nails suck...they hurt a lot
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post #13 of 17
10/21/09 at 2:19am
Thread Starter 

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Michele, I will let Alisha know that you all wish her a Happy Birthday.
Brenda, you all know I have bad ingrown toenails, guess where the best place to have this done at? Cheaper then the doctors too. Get a Pedicure, lots of guys do it and they do a wonderful job. Where I go now and I feel much better about my toes being out in public now. LOL that sounds so funny.
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post #14 of 17
10/21/09 at 8:31pm

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Annie, it looks like he may have a bit of an infection down the side of his big toe. Can he still have a pedicure? I just found out I can't take him to see a podiatrist w/o a referral from his pediatrician, who can't see him right now! Catch 22. Talked to his nurse who said we are doing the right things, told me what to watch for. This has been a stressful week.
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post #15 of 17
10/21/09 at 8:39pm

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Brenda, this is going to sound old fashioned, but try soaking Drew's toe in Epson salt. I'd make the water as hot as he can stand it and put a lot of Epson salt in there. It will help, and it will draw a lot of the soreness out. I did this with an ingrown toenail not too long ago, and it took enough of the soreness out of it that I was able to take care of the ingrown toenail myself. It make take a couple of soaks, but I think it will help.
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post #16 of 17
10/22/09 at 2:59am
Thread Starter 

Re: 19 years has come and gone

Brenda I am with Tammy on this one and once the infection is gone then go get a pedicure and they will keep his toes in shape. Might want to call them too, you never know they might have something for his toe to make it better too.
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post #17 of 17
10/22/09 at 6:56am

Re: 19 years has come and gone

That's a good point, too, Annie. Brenda, if your pediatrician asks that you not bring them in, I'd call back and just tell them that you need a referral. They probably don't need to see you to do one since an ingrown toenail is pretty obvious.
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