BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Ages & Stages › Parenthood › Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
With all the medical technology that enables older and older women to have children, maybe it’s time to look at it from the adult child’s point of view.

Too Young To Have a Mother That Old? | Aging Parents
post #2 of 8
Thread Starter 

Re: Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?

This article kind of annoyed me. First of all, most women in their late 30s and 40s are aware of their age and that they will not live as long as their younger mother counterparts. I, for one, did not have children to keep me young, although, it has had that effect. I had children at an older age, because I was physically incapable of having them younger. It was not a choice, it was a biological reality.

Yes, older parents may not live as long as younger ones. However, that is not always the case. My dad's parents were 39 and 54 when he was born. My mother's parents were in their early 20s. My dad was around 30 when his dad died at age 87. My mom was around 28 when her dad died at age 62. Both of my mother's parents died before she hit 35. My dad was close to 50 when his mother died.

I have talked to my dad about having such an old father. There were problems. Grandpa was sick most of my Dad's childhood. He had to grow up faster than some kids because he had a father he had to help take care of. By the time I came around, Grandpa had recovered from these problems and was totally healthy until the day he died. One of the bad sides of having older parents was he sometimes felt like he missed out on things. One of the good things was he was very, very close to his parents. He was much closer to his parents than his friends who had younger parents. So it is not all bad news.

I feel like this writer has only bad things to say about older mothers without the good points. Obviously, there are some good things about having older parents. Too bad she didn't explore any of them.
post #3 of 8

Re: Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?

My parents were both older when I was born. So what? People have had children when the parents were in their 20's..... and have sadly passed on. Age isn't the only factor.... health and luck factor into things themselves. Life is not certain for anyone, regardless of age.

Why doesn't she look at having children at younger ages? That isn't perfect either.
post #4 of 8
Thread Starter 

Re: Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?

I was born when my mother was 18 and she resented the he11 out of me and my sister. I had to grow up too fast, because my mom didn't want to grow up at all! I'm not saying all young parents are this way, but mine sure was. I would have much rather had an older mother who actually wanted me than the one I got.
post #5 of 8

Re: Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?

I think you may be missing the point, which is (if I am reading this correctly) that older parents may neglect to realize the burden they may be placing on their children by having them at an age where most of their friends already have teenagers. My mother was young. incredibly young when my older sister was bron. Turned 17 only 1 month later. Much too young (in my opinion) to raise child. Yet, I can't imagine a more devoted and loving mom than mine.

Then you have me, almost 30 when my first was born, while my sister's youngest (she's 3 years older than me) had just turned 10. I waited, thinking I certainly wasn't ready before, but at almost 30 thought I could handle it. HA!

The author isn't condemning older parents. Nor is she condoning. She is simply pointing out the facts as they have pertained to her. And isn't it better to be prepared for ALL eventualities? So you have a child when you are older. So what? At least in this day and age you know (or think you know) what you are getting into, you probably are better prepared financially. But no matter your age, that doesn't mean you will love your child more or less. It simply means you have to be prepared to deal with whatever life decides to throw at you. Old, young, whatever - all you can do is the best you can do. Prepare your child the best you can and hope for the best - just like the rest of us.
post #6 of 8

Re: Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?

I think you may be missing the point, which is (if I am reading this correctly) that older parents may neglect to realize the burden they may be placing on their children by having them at an age where most of their friends already have teenagers. My mother was young. incredibly young when my older sister was bron. Turned 17 only 1 month later. Much too young (in my opinion) to raise child. Yet, I can't imagine a more devoted and loving mom than mine.

Then you have me, almost 30 when my first was born, while my sister's youngest (she's 3 years older than me) had just turned 10. I waited, thinking I certainly wasn't ready before, but at almost 30 thought I could handle it. HA!

The author isn't condemning older parents. Nor is she condoning. She is simply pointing out the facts as they have pertained to her. And isn't it better to be prepared for ALL eventualities? So you have a child when you are older. So what? At least in this day and age you know (or think you know) what you are getting into, you probably are better prepared financially. But no matter your age, that doesn't mean you will love your child more or less. It simply means you have to be prepared to deal with whatever life decides to throw at you. Old, young, whatever - all you can do is the best you can do. Prepare your child the best you can and hope for the best - just like the rest of us.
post #7 of 8

Re: Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?

I don't like the article either. It sounded to me like she was condemning older women who choose to have a child. She concluded by saying that those mothers need to start preparing their kid early on for the mom's death. What kind of advice is that? As a 44-yo who just gave birth to her first child, yes, I know that I am older. I know that I will be in my mid-60s when Brandon graduates from high school. I know that, statistically speaking, I will likely die before he is 40. Am I going to start preparing him for my death? Absolutely not.

As the other poster said, there are positives and negatives about having children at any age. I was in my late 30s when my father died. My mother is still living. Will it hurt more losing a parent in my 30s versus losing one in my 50s? Somehow, I don't think my age will make much of a difference at all. What is important is not how old Brandon is when he loses his parents, but the life his parents gave him while they were here. That is what we are focused on.
post #8 of 8

Re: Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?

I agree, when it comes to a mother's love, age does not matter.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenthood
BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Ages & Stages › Parenthood › Aging Parents Too Young To Have a Mother That Old?