Ok, little history. Have a friend that I met through work almost 10 years ago. A week ago last Friday, another co-worker/friend was having her kidney removed from Stage 4 cancer. While there, a few things happened between us that caused a fight. Not going to get into what it was, because it was pretty stupid.
At any rate, it wasn't pretty and ended up cancelling a lake house trip with an entire group of us. (well I went ot the lake house with high school friends anyway).
Fri evening I get a text requesting we get together to talk. Make arrangements for Sunday. Sunday I already had plans for a bday party and then a get together with 2 friends that had been months in the making, with our schedules. We had a blast with jello shots, floating in the pool while kids played on water slide, so I didn't get home until later than I thought. And to be honest, really didn't want to deal with it that night. So at 9 she texts and I tell her I got caught up in time, and we reschedule on Monday. Monday comes and she doesn't show up, she felt since I renigged on our commitment (even though I had previously plans, I should have canceled them) then she would do the same. After many texts back and forth, I just got to where I was over it and said we needed to talk next week.
Yesterday I send an email saying it was blown out of proportion not worth ending a friendship over, etc. She comes back saying
"Not really sure what you think about constructive criticism, but I have learned a lot from it and welcome it when offered – so I’m gonna offer some now. For the last several years I have gotten the impression that everything has to revolve around Jennifer and when it’s not convenient for Jennifer she doesn’t participate. Yes my hats off to you because John works at night and you have three little ones at home – but we all managed when ours was little and still managed to participate and compromise when maybe it wasn’t “exactly” the time, day or even restaurant we had planned to attend. "
Um excuse me, but is this something parents get alot? She is a parent, but her kids are long grown and gone, her husband works out of town, so she is alone every night. I don't ask anyone to change their plans, other than the normal back and forth of who can make it and when. If I can't be there, I can't be there. I have commitments with my family, they come first. I am just stunned! I so don't see this.
At any rate, it wasn't pretty and ended up cancelling a lake house trip with an entire group of us. (well I went ot the lake house with high school friends anyway).
Fri evening I get a text requesting we get together to talk. Make arrangements for Sunday. Sunday I already had plans for a bday party and then a get together with 2 friends that had been months in the making, with our schedules. We had a blast with jello shots, floating in the pool while kids played on water slide, so I didn't get home until later than I thought. And to be honest, really didn't want to deal with it that night. So at 9 she texts and I tell her I got caught up in time, and we reschedule on Monday. Monday comes and she doesn't show up, she felt since I renigged on our commitment (even though I had previously plans, I should have canceled them) then she would do the same. After many texts back and forth, I just got to where I was over it and said we needed to talk next week.
Yesterday I send an email saying it was blown out of proportion not worth ending a friendship over, etc. She comes back saying
"Not really sure what you think about constructive criticism, but I have learned a lot from it and welcome it when offered – so I’m gonna offer some now. For the last several years I have gotten the impression that everything has to revolve around Jennifer and when it’s not convenient for Jennifer she doesn’t participate. Yes my hats off to you because John works at night and you have three little ones at home – but we all managed when ours was little and still managed to participate and compromise when maybe it wasn’t “exactly” the time, day or even restaurant we had planned to attend. "
Um excuse me, but is this something parents get alot? She is a parent, but her kids are long grown and gone, her husband works out of town, so she is alone every night. I don't ask anyone to change their plans, other than the normal back and forth of who can make it and when. If I can't be there, I can't be there. I have commitments with my family, they come first. I am just stunned! I so don't see this.
, I find that tends to make me more sympathetic to those who are still going thru that.
