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Clothing

post #1 of 13
4/18/01 at 1:18pm
Thread Starter 
OK I've been meaning to talk about this but I've been busy!! When Christian got here and I looked in his suitcase he has only 5 outfits for 2 weeks.....I'm not really upset about that ......but ALL HIS CLOTHES LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH 20 KIDS!! That's probably an understatment!! We give a good amount of Child Support, so why doesn't he have any clothes?????????

So then Mike asks Christian who packed his bags and he says he did and his 9 year old brother helped him. Mike said why didn't your mom help you, and he said b/c she was ON THE COMPUTER!!! Why couldn't she take 15 minutes OFF the computer and pack his suitcase??? It's not like she works on the computer or anything. That is one of the reasons Mike divorced her b/c she neglected EVERTHING b/c she was on the computer ALL the time. I don't like to see this woman neglecting my SS but what can I do about it.

Even if she would have packed his bags I would have gotten the same crappy clothes.....it happen's every time!!! She has money for a DVD player and a BRAND NEW COMPUTER so why doesn't she buy her own child some clothes so he doesn't look like a homeless person. I'm so sick of this, and I hate to send him home b/c I KNOW he is not being cared for properly!!

The picture's I could show you guys....you would throw up at the way her house is b/c she NEVER cleans it and I'm tired of my SS living like this. We don't have money to fight for him YET but soon we will and I hope we get him.

Anyone else have a neglectful BM and what do you do about it????? Am I the only one who gets crappy clothes every visit?? Sorry to rant so much but this has been going on for 5 years now and I can't take it anymore!!
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post #2 of 13
4/18/01 at 1:23pm
His ex sounds like my sister in law, she is a lazy one!! When Katie and the boys came to my moms for a night she had Katie get all the bags ready for the 3 kids!! That makes me mad because she is only 5!!! Like Mike's ex, she sits on the computer or sits on her but all day while my brother does everything, plus work 10-12 hours a day at Fords!! The whole family wishes he would have married someone else!! Anyone other than her would have been better!!!
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post #3 of 13
4/18/01 at 8:17pm
Thread Starter 
Yep...that sounds exactly like Mikes ex!!! I wonder how they live with themselves.....If I don't think I am doing the right thing with my kids it bothers the hell out of me for days. These women seem to not care at all.

Christian tells me he cooks his own breakfast and I just want to scream!!!! In my opinion a 7 year old has no business in the kitchen!!! Because he had to make his own breakfast he only had toast!!!! Ughhhhh the storys I could tell.
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post #4 of 13
4/18/01 at 8:26pm
The poor boy I would go nuts living in a house like that. My mom always got up with us in the morning and made sure we had breakfast before we were off to school except for high school she finally started working then.

I hope you can fight for him soon! I am sure he would be happy living with you guys!!
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post #5 of 13
4/21/01 at 12:03am
Well, as far as the clothes go, we used to get suitcases full of worn out and too small clothes. We think it was to "encourage" us to but her some more things ( on top of child support) which my husband has done on occasion. That doesn't happen much anymore though. As far as the neglect, we tried to pursue something a bit similar once, and they told us that there is nothing you can do unless the bio is a drug user or something horrible like that.
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post #6 of 13
4/29/01 at 12:34am
We have gone through the clothes stage. It started the first summer that we got my sd. The bio mom didnt want her to come so she asked what we would do for clothes. She said she wouldn't send her with anything. Since that is about the time we went to court we had them put in the new drawn up papers that she must send 2 outfits for the weekends and 5 for the summers. After that that is exactly what we got. Not one outfit more. She also start to send clothes that looked old and worn. My sd is one of the best dressed kids in town. Her mom only buys her name brand clothes and lots of them. For her to have come in clothes like that she was trying to make a point.
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post #7 of 13
6/27/01 at 3:36am
Biomom does a good job at getting SS clothes. She will always drop hints like....uh...he is growing fast and is in need of school clothes....

I'm like...okay...use the child support money and go get some. My DH has been out of work some of the time after bailey was born, but still, biomom comments on how well her hubby is doing financially, so I'm like....why are you dropping obvious hints here? She has always sent good condition clothes over though. Johnathan says that she keeps the house pretty clean. So, I don't think we have anything to worry about there. I know that she does spend alot of time on the computer, but they also do take the boys out an awful lot to do kid stuff and take them neat places.
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post #8 of 13
6/27/01 at 6:13pm
All clothing is supposed to come out of CS.
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post #9 of 13
6/27/01 at 7:40pm
Thread Starter 
Well he just got here 2 weeks ago and he came again with the same crapy clothes!! He wears a size 8 in little boys and she sent him with stuff that was a size 18/20. That's a pretty big difference in size there!!! Mike told her last week that it was unacceptable and she promised to send better clothes for him thru the mail. So I'm still waiting for that. Meanwhile I feel like I can't even take him out b/c Michael and Devon are dressed nice and all christian has is crap(excuse me) for clothes. We can't afford to buy him new clothes to all the time!! Isn't that what the CS is for? Oh well, I'm getting mad all over again!! I just feel like if she has all this money to buy new stuff then why doesn't he have any nice clothes!!!
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post #10 of 13
6/27/01 at 7:46pm

Cleo

Could you pick him up a couple of things at a thrift store while you are waiting? I would be tempted to tell bio, if the clothes don't arrive, that he has to go back home. You don't want to punish the child, but like you say, he has to have something decent to wear. That is a toughy.
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post #11 of 13
6/28/01 at 12:55am

I understand

Cleo, I know exactly what you are talking about. My step daughter who wears a size 6x came to my house in a size 10/12. Like you said, what a difference. I refuse to let her where it while she is out with me. She looks like me and can pass for my daughter. I don't want people thinking that I did that to her. Also, her mom sent her with these crazy looking shoes and clothes that don't fit her right. Again, she won't wear it with me. If I have to she will wear the same thing over and over. I don't know if she is trying to prove a point or if she just don't care what she looks like. The best part of all is that alot of it is name brand (tommy polo etc) but it doesn't fit. I guess if it has a name brand it makes it ok.
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post #12 of 13
6/28/01 at 11:02am
Thread Starter 
Postey, that's a great idea(thrift store), but I can't afford it at this time. We just moved and all the bills are late untill next month when things get back to normal. We have forked up over $9,000 dollars to move and that doesn't even include things like child support. I'll be able to buy him stuff next month, but it still pisses me off b/c she has $400.00 a month to do things like that. It doesn't even take that much money to support my other TWO boys for a month!!! Mike and I have no problem paying the money, but she is not using it on him! Anyway, thank you for the idea!!

Kelli, I think the bio-moms do this stuff on purpose!! I usually just buy new ones and send them back with him, and she knows it!! This has been going on for years and she hasn't bought him a lick of new clothes!! What she does is buys her older son clothes from the thrift shop or gets them from the garbage and when he wears them out, she gives them to my SS!! I think that if she can afford NEW clothes and new electronics then her son deserves not to look like he came from a garbage can!! I planned and bought for months, for my two boys clothes, for summer. She is just plain crazy!! And she has the nerve to say that b/c I am so young that I can't take care of her son properly! Bull, she has 10 years on me and I have it together better than her!!

I'm going to stop ranting, LOL!!! I just can't stand it some days!!

PS~All the clothes he brought with him this time are staying here and going in the trash!! She will hopefully get the point and buy him something!!
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post #13 of 13
6/28/01 at 5:48pm
Yea. You guys have got to force the issue. That is absolutely ridiculous.
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