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4 pairs of pants!!!

post #1 of 10
7/15/01 at 11:40pm
Thread Starter 
That's all the clothes Christians "mom" sent for him, and they are all jeans at that! Jeans in Florida?!?!?! It doesn't make sense...it's really hot here.

For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about....Christian ALWAYS comes here with clothes that look like they come from a dumpster, and we pay her good money to buy him nice clothes!! She doesn't care....They have gotten a new computer, DVD player, and all this other new stuff Christian tells me about, yet her son doesn't have any decent clothes. I bought some for him but I feel like she should buy his clothes b/c she gets free money while he's not there in the summer. So not only do we pay for his CS in the summer, we have to pay for him all over again to live/eat at our house....which is not a big deal to us until she doesn't want to use the money for the child.

Also the pants cost $5.99 each(she left the tags on)....could she not afford to buy him some t-shirts???? He is not even at her house in the summer, and she still gets child support....do you think buying the kid some clothes is to much to ask? She hasn't called to talk to him in 2 WEEKS! Christian waits by the phone every Sunday at 8:00 and she just doesn't call, and he has to be disappointed!! This woman is really starting to get on my nerves!!!

I feel better...I just needed to vent!!
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post #2 of 10
7/16/01 at 12:17am
Tara,
That's ridiculous! Jeans?! Is she nuts? I live in Louisiana, Florida is not too far from here, so I know how hot it gets.
I don't have anything against 5.99 jeans, because I'm sure when Gary and I have a little one, they will wear Wal-Mart clothes, but to not send any decent clothes is terrible! Are these the same clothes that he wears at home, or does she just send crappy clothes with him to your house to get you to buy him more?
I also don't think it's fair that she still gets child support while Christian is with you. She doesn't have to pay for anything for him while he is with you and Mike, so what is she doing with the money?
Some people can be so greedy!

Heather
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post #3 of 10
7/16/01 at 1:37am
Tara, I can understand. My neice would bring one pr of dirty pants (she was 11 and the panties were smeared with poop) and a dingy set of sweats to visit her daddy and family for xmas. My MIL would end up spening $100s and because the clothes wouldn't get used otherwise, they would go home with Rachel. The child would come to us unclean (meaning no baths for about a week before hand) and all kinds of stuff. My BIL and his wife finally got custody of Rachel when the school and other authorities stepped in.

Count your blessings. At least the jeans were cleaned.
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post #4 of 10
7/16/01 at 9:21am
Well if it were me, I'd go ahead and buy him some inexpensive shorts and t-shirts, but I'd be darned if I'd send them home with him. Even if he'll never be able to wear them again ... tough!

Sometimes these biomoms just get my goat (speaking about ours -- not you ladies here that are having just as bad a time with the stepmoms). Here's a great example -- Jessi's birthday was last week. Now, we are not materialistic people, but you would have thought she would have received at least a card from her half-sister. When Mike called her last weekend and mentioned that it was Jessi's birthday, my SD said she wanted to get Jessi something, but her mom said they were broke.

Hello -- $500 a month and you couldn't afford $2 for a card? That's just pure meaness! She'll be coming out next week to stay for a week, and while she's here, I'm going to buy her a big box of generic cards anda roll of stamps. Then we'll see what happens.

Anyway -- didn't mean to wander off the subject, but it just sounds so familiar. At least my SD comes with clothes -- tons of them and nothing cheap. I know where our $500 a month goes. LOL
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post #5 of 10
7/16/01 at 9:57am
Thread Starter 
Heather~I don't have a problem with the shorts being $5.99 eaither....when I say that, I mean she only spent $25.00 on his clothes....I thought she could have spent more since they were so cheap. I buy my boys play clothes from WalMart(shorts only cost about $3.00), and then they have about 7 "brand name" outfits for when they need to look nice. I didn't want you to think I have a problem with them being cheap, b/c I don't. I don't know what she does with the money in the summer....I know that we payed for her wedding(christian told us) from the child support. I'm kind of bitter that she got to have a real wedding and I had to go to the court house!! Her husband got a new car, and her clothes are always the expensive stuff!! So I guess that's where it all goes.

Knee Cole~I'm glad that your BIL got custody of your neice....these kids shouldn't have to go thru this stuff!! You're right atleast they were clean.....on the other side the clothes she sent with him originally are not so clean looking.

Dawn~It's funny b/c I had already figured I would just buy him some clothes....but I won't be sending them back!! I spent a couple hundred dollars on clothes last year and she didn't send any of them back with him for this summer(he is still the same size)! Also I am not sending back the old yucky clothes he came here with originally!! It will force her to buy new ones!

I think it is just mean that your SD's bio-mom couldn't spend $2 on a card for Jessie! I hope her feelings weren't hurt!!

I'm giving up on the whole clothes situation(even though Mike's not just yet)....it's not worth my time anymore to expect her to take care of her own child. Thanks for your support ladies....it helps a lot just to vent!!
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post #6 of 10
7/17/01 at 8:48pm
tara, just hang on to those almost new clothes when your SS leaves. Your boys will be wearing them sooner than you wish!!
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post #7 of 10
7/18/01 at 2:51pm
Tara,
My goodness, sounds like you have a lot going on w/ biomom. I'm sorry you have to go through that. My dh has a son who lives w/ his biomom in another state. So, since we had supervised visits as it was in Oregon, now that we are in TX, biomom barely allows us to have phone calls once every other weekend and on holidays. I feel though that she has to micromanage every little thing we do and say. We were late calling dh son this past Sunday and we got a rude email saying that the time to call is this and if we dont' call by this time they are leaving. She wants us to have contact w/ him, but she makes it so hard and frustrating that sometimes we just want to give up. If we back off, she gripes b/c we dont' have contact enough!!! We just cannot win w/ her. I know that she just started receiving support payments again.....moving to another state, it took a while for the support to start coming again. Biomom is good about buying things for SS and getting him clothes and all, but it is her attitude and the way she handles situations. She HAS to have complete and total control over every minor detail or else she isn't happy. I guess we just have to deal w/ it, but I can't stand this. Had to vent.....sorry.

I am really sorry you are dealing w/ this mess right now, but I do agree that you should go out and get some inexpensive clothing and just keep it and not send anything back to the biomom to have. I can't believe she is taking advantage of your child support payments. Good Luck.
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post #8 of 10
7/18/01 at 3:32pm
Tara, I feel so badly for Christian!! I'm sure his mom not sending nice clothes was to spite you and his dad, but what's the deal with her not even calling to talk to her son? That's just horrible of her!! If he were my son, I'd be calling everyday, but it sounds like she just doesn't care!!

I know you have addressed this elsewhere, and I know it's none of my business, but are you and Mike still working on trying to gain custody of Christian? I hope so, because it sounds like you really love this child and that's what he needs - to be in a home where he is loved and isn't always being told terrible things about his dad and step-mom.

It is really sad that she, as an adult, can't get over her anger enough to love her child and to stop using him to get back at his dad and you.

I hope that everything works out. As for the clothes you'll buy, like Jennifer said, if Christian never wears them again, Michael and Devon soon will be!!
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post #9 of 10
7/18/01 at 7:04pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for your kind words!!

Currently she is avoiding us like the plague....She finally called last night after we sent her a concerned e-mail. I don't think she really cares....she and my DH usually talk after she is done talking to Christian but this time she hung up.....I guess she doesn't want to hear the truth.

I'm so tired of her I want to scream!!!! We are working on getting Christian out of this situation!!
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post #10 of 10
7/19/01 at 3:21am
I am sorry to hear that she isn't willing to be a better parent and listen to the truth about the situation. Most people aren't though when it is involving them. I do hope that you all can obtain custody of this boy if the mother is unfit and not caring. My goodness, that little boy doesn't deserve that. I hope all goes well. Take care.
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