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How Do I Cope?

post #1 of 7
10/9/03 at 1:24pm
Thread Starter 
I can't do it anymore. I hate going to work. I hate staying home (but at least I feel valuable there). The only thing keeping me from doing something rash is the fact that my son needs his mother (DH can always get another wife, but DS can only have one mother). I guess this qualifies as depression, right?

In about 2 weeks, I start up the meds again and we can try again (after 3 MCs). DH keeps telling me that I can quit my job when we have a second baby, but I've just about given up hope on that. One more miscarriage, and I'm going to quit, at least for a while. I can't handle the rollercoaster. And that will be one more count against me, because I desperately want to have more children - being unable/unwilling to do so will tear me apart.

I'm looking for another job, partly because I think I'm in a funk because I've been at this job for almost 3.5 years - longer than any other job in the past - and because I really don't think I'm going to quit working any time soon. What I really want to do is stay home and take care of my son, but right now that's not reasonable, and I know it.

I just needed to hear someone tell me I'm not losing my mind. Others of you have gone through this, I'm sure.

Thanks for listening.
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post #2 of 7
10/9/03 at 1:27pm
I am so sorry for your loss. I have no words of advice for you, just a big !!
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post #3 of 7
10/9/03 at 1:56pm
I'm so sorry, Judy. I have never had a MC, but when we couldn't conceive, it was really hard on me. Please feel free to vent on BabyU, we are here for you. My hubby and I decided to adopt and it has been wonderful. Good luck, take one day at a time.
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post #4 of 7
10/9/03 at 2:08pm
I am so sorry Judy

I have not miscarried, but at this moment I may be in the process of it, and just this one week has been so much of an emotional roller coaster that I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through.

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post #5 of 7
10/9/03 at 3:51pm
Hi Judy.
I don't know if you know or not but my daughter was stillborn at 32 weeks earlier this year. It was so incredibly hard on me and at times I honestly thought I was going crazy. If it wasn't for my children that needed me, I don't know if I would have gotten out of bed each morning. It is normal and okay to feel like an emotional wreck.
I don't know the frustration you are going through because I have only had 1 loss and have decided not to try anymore, but I do know the heartache and if you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to email or pm me.
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post #6 of 7
10/9/03 at 9:58pm
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post #7 of 7
10/9/03 at 11:01pm
I have been where you are twice and it is very ok to feel that way. I was also terrifyed to try again and even told DH to have a vasectomy. However my heart wouldn't listen to my brain's warnings after a while and Thank god neither did DH., because if either had I wouldn't have Jesse. There are still days when I think of the babies I lost and get that depresses/stressed/crazy feeling. Only you can decide if you are willing to risk another MC. If you need time then take it and don't let anyone rush you.The mind takes longer to heal then the body and I doubt if the heart ever truely heals completely from losing a baby. Take care of you!!!
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