My niece turned 16 yesterday and we didn't even get to talk to her. 
We called but she wasn't home the first time and the second time no one answered. I left a message asking her to call us back if she could but she never did.
I use to be really close to my niece until about 3 years ago when it came out that my BIL had molested & raped my three SILs. This caused a lot of problems with my SIL who is the mother of my niece. I think it brought back a lot of memories and feelings that she had been repressing all these years. But instead of her seeking help with a therapist or even keeping this guy out of her life, she's mad at us because we've "ruined" the family by not allowing him around our kids or to be involved in our lives. So, in my opinion, she's taking out her hurt on us instead of him because, also in my opinion, she's afraid that by cutting him out then people will find out what he did and she's afraid that they'll blame her.
Anyway, because of all that, she's limited the access and interaction that we have with her children (she has a son also). And that's caused my relationship with our niece to suffer and so we're not close like we use to be. It makes me sad because she's such a sweet girl but her mother really keeps a tight lease on her, and I think a lot of it has to do with her trying to protect her because of what happened to her when she was a child. (She was 10 when her brother began abusing her).
I could go on and on about my SIL but won't. I'll just say that it's sad that in protecting herself from dealing with what happened to her she is willing to allow her molester to be a part of hers and her children's lives. And to cut out those of us who want to help her. And it's really sad for her children.
So yesterday was our niece's 16th birthday and we didn't get to even talk to her. Hopefully over the weekend we'll get to see her and give her her present.
We called but she wasn't home the first time and the second time no one answered. I left a message asking her to call us back if she could but she never did. I use to be really close to my niece until about 3 years ago when it came out that my BIL had molested & raped my three SILs. This caused a lot of problems with my SIL who is the mother of my niece. I think it brought back a lot of memories and feelings that she had been repressing all these years. But instead of her seeking help with a therapist or even keeping this guy out of her life, she's mad at us because we've "ruined" the family by not allowing him around our kids or to be involved in our lives. So, in my opinion, she's taking out her hurt on us instead of him because, also in my opinion, she's afraid that by cutting him out then people will find out what he did and she's afraid that they'll blame her.
Anyway, because of all that, she's limited the access and interaction that we have with her children (she has a son also). And that's caused my relationship with our niece to suffer and so we're not close like we use to be. It makes me sad because she's such a sweet girl but her mother really keeps a tight lease on her, and I think a lot of it has to do with her trying to protect her because of what happened to her when she was a child. (She was 10 when her brother began abusing her).
I could go on and on about my SIL but won't. I'll just say that it's sad that in protecting herself from dealing with what happened to her she is willing to allow her molester to be a part of hers and her children's lives. And to cut out those of us who want to help her. And it's really sad for her children.
So yesterday was our niece's 16th birthday and we didn't get to even talk to her. Hopefully over the weekend we'll get to see her and give her her present.
Im sorry you are being shut out of their lives, I hope you get to talk to her soon.
