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Leave clothes and toys there?

post #1 of 12
2/10/04 at 10:10am
Thread Starter 
For those of you that are step parents or have kids that go to their father's house for a visit...do you leave toys and clothes at the other house? Or do you just move it all back and forth between the two?
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post #2 of 12
2/10/04 at 11:33am
We have both at both places, but Devan is also allowed to take whatever he wants back and forth...
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post #3 of 12
2/10/04 at 11:42am
My best friend Stacy's stepson visits them every other weekend and he doesn't take anthing with him.
The mother sends him in junky too small clothes, he wears stuff that Stacy has purchased for him while he is their, and then wears the junky stuff back home.
They are both so worried about not getting back what they paid for.
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post #4 of 12
2/10/04 at 11:45am
When my BIL was getting his divorce...his child that he thought was his, but wasn't...had a room just for him and all of the toys that our side of the family gave him was kept at my BIL's house all the time.

Now that my BIL is remarried...the little boy doesn't come at all anymore because he has a new family to get adjusted to...like his real father, step mother and grandma.

I think I gave you too much info than what you wanted. You know me...I can talk all day
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post #5 of 12
2/24/04 at 2:53pm
My SK's leave the toys at the seperate houses. If mom buys it, it stays at her house if dad buys it, it stays at ours, but my Dh has every weekend visitation so that may be different than some other situations..
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post #6 of 12
2/24/04 at 3:02pm
Den's step brother and sister only take their school work on the weekends to their dad's house and clothes. Toys and stuff stay at the house they just left. They are both old enough to know that if they take clothes over and forget them that they won't get them back til they go back over again.
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post #7 of 12
2/24/04 at 8:14pm
I have heard many times before of the custodial parent sending the child without clothes and they things they need in an attempt to force the noncustodial parent to buy a lot of clothes for the child in addition to paying child support. It usually works out the non-custodial parent gets tired of that game pretty quickly and just has their own stash of clothes.
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post #8 of 12
2/24/04 at 8:18pm
When Cori goes to her dads (once a year in the summer), he tellms me to pack only an outfit or 2. He and his family buy her a ton of stuff while she is there and always comes home with at least 2 big suitcases of clothes and stuff. He knows that she is only there for a week or 2 so it is not logical to leave things there. By the time she comes back, she will have outgrown the stuff.
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post #9 of 12
2/24/04 at 8:24pm
That is the situation with Stacy's stepson Lenora. They kept buying him new clothes thinking that the mother couldn't afford anything since he came over wearing crap all the time...
Turned out she did it on purpose forcing them to spend a bunch of money on him every few weeks that was unnecessary. He was wearing realy nice expensive clothes during the week.
Now Stacy and his dad don't allow him to take anything that they buy home to his mother's hose.
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post #10 of 12
3/20/09 at 4:25pm

Re: Leave clothes and toys there?

We have been struggling with this one. My guy has insisted that nothing go back to the mom's house that we buy, because it does not come back here. He is right. My dilemma is that she is always sent to us in grubby clothes and messy hair. She is nine years old and at just the delicate age when other girls will be starting to notice and tease about this. I am am amazing bargin shopper, and I find cute stuff all the time that I would love to send home for her to wear. But we have no relationship with her mom outside court. Am I just wasting my time and money? My guy thinks so, although he is really annoyed by the lake of attention to her hygiene! Could this just be a deliberate attempt to get more by his ex? Or should I just send it anyhow? I want her to feel confident at school even though we are not around all the time, but is this just not my business? I would like some oppinions!
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post #11 of 12
3/20/09 at 4:46pm

Re: Leave clothes and toys there?

It depends on the visitation agreement and the parents. If you have a good relationship then try and work it out. My agreement indicates primary parent to send clothing including 2 extra changes. I send all the clothes and require them to come home and will inquire when they don't. Eventually they all make it home.

The way I handle the extra changes, is a cheap Walmart $2 pants and shirt outfit for Grandparents and Parent to keep at their home for emergencies.

We do family birthday parties and the way I usually handle this: anything I purchase is for my home anything purchased by dad is for his. Everything else is placed in a pile and split up evenly including stuff for Grandparents homes. My children are also allowed to take whatever they want and understand that if it's forgotten it's there until the next visit. Unless sometimes dad is willing to go back and bring it back.

I found the way to keep a good working relationship is when you're spring cleaning and ready to donate or give away things ask the dad if they would like stuff for their place.
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post #12 of 12
10/8/09 at 4:33pm

Re: Leave clothes and toys there?

Hello,

I am a step mom to be and we have three girls full time except for every other weekend. We have a drawer in the girls rooms of "mom" clothes. They know to where these on the Friday's they go to her house. It has worked great and we don't loose so many clothes.
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