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Ohhh Myyy Goodness!!!!!!!!!!

post #1 of 16
3/12/04 at 4:23pm
Thread Starter 
Ariana has lost it at her father's house!!She is lying, and and and and Peeing her pants!!I dont know what to do!! he called and told me that the whole time she has been at his house , she has been peeing her pants, peeing on the carpet, and lying. She said that I dont make her brush her teeth in the morning before school, she said I tell her the answers when I do her homework with her, she said that I dont make her take showers or baths and she said I dont make her tie her own shoes I dont know what to do! I told her that she would be punished when she got home not only because she is lying and peeing but because she is making me look bad over there, I just feel so let down by her! She is my fist child but I feel like i don't know who she is turning into over there> I understand it is difficult for her to adjust to being away from us for so long, but that is no excuse for her behavior, can you ladies please give me some advice, I am going crazy thinking about it!!!
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post #2 of 16
3/12/04 at 4:27pm
How long is she there for?
Cori goes to her bio-dads for a couple of weeks each year and there is usually some sort of issue like that. Hers is mainly "well, my MOM lets me........" whatever. He came her elast year for her birthday and she pulled some crap in the mall with us. Talked to him like he was a dog! I mean, she showed her BUTT big time. I was horrified. That is so not her.
Anyway, I pretty much just think that it is how she is going to act with him til he makes her mind. He likes to let her do whatever she wants to keep her happy but in doing htat she has not respect for him. I was the one who had to get on to her in the mall last year.
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post #3 of 16
3/12/04 at 4:27pm
I have no advice but could it be due to the adjustment with thenew baby?
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post #4 of 16
3/12/04 at 4:30pm
Uh.. you could ask Dr. Bartell. She'll know what to do, because I am clueless.
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post #5 of 16
3/12/04 at 4:36pm
Thread Starter 
She has been ther two weeks, and I knwo it is hard for her with the new baby because she has new babies on both sides but i dont feel like that is an excuse for her behavior,I need to talk to someone cuz im about to loose my damn mind!!
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post #6 of 16
3/12/04 at 4:38pm
How does her dad react when he finds out she is lying?

The lying is a normal thing for her age. She is learning that she can manipulate things. I think her dad should punish her and let her know that it is unacceptable. I would also tell her how much it hurt your feelings.
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post #7 of 16
3/12/04 at 4:41pm
Thread Starter 
he did punish her and I am going to tell her how i feel when she gets home but the thing is that she seems so small to be doing the things she is doing, maybe i am just not giving her enough credit, smart lil SH!*She will be punished when she gets home too
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post #8 of 16
3/12/04 at 6:15pm
I hope it is all short lived, Vanessa!
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post #9 of 16
3/12/04 at 6:19pm
I think she is just trying to get some attention, and maybe he's not giving her any good attention, so she is trying to get some negative attention??




I would tell him to spend some time alone with her each day if he can and maybe she'll quit
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post #10 of 16
3/12/04 at 7:28pm
sorry she is pulling this stuff and making you sound bad... hope it is just a phase that she will grow out of quickly!
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post #11 of 16
3/12/04 at 7:33pm
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post #12 of 16
3/12/04 at 8:33pm
Thread Starter 
ok from what i heard, he does spend time w her, I called the other day and Shari(FAthers GF) rtold me that ariana and her father had gone out for a walk together , just he and her,and then i was told he and her also went minniature golfing on tue, so i know he is doing his best to spend time with her but I'm just so confused ,bc i dont know what is REALLY going on, and i cant fix it till she gets home!
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post #13 of 16
3/12/04 at 8:45pm
OK here are my 2 cents worth for you

NO MATTER what the rules are at your house....she needs to understand that her dad will have his own rules that she will need to follow....so he also needs to step up to the plate and make her do the things that she says she doesn't have to do....(dont' worry i think we all know you dont' let her get away with murder like that).

Its also obvious taht she is acting out because of the new baby....and if there are new babies in both houses then she is getting a double whammy and that is hard on her too.

Liz is currently acting out and stuff too doing things that she never did before....so i am also trying to figure out what to do. Goodluck with it all hon
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post #14 of 16
3/12/04 at 8:48pm
Thread Starter 
Thank you Michele!
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post #15 of 16
3/12/04 at 8:55pm
Michele hjas hit the nail on the head here. Dad needs to set his rules and stick to them. If her excuse for breaking is that mom says so&so then he needs to step up with the classic this is not mommy's house and here you will follow our rules. He also shouldn't show any belief in her claims. Discuss them with you to assure himself of course but if he even gives the slightest response of anger or shock with you then she will keep it up.
I went through this for a long time with ds's dad adn it took years for him to finally get it. But he is not the best example.
But all in all it will work out as time goes by.

The other thing i had to learn myself is that if they are bad at dads then they are punished at dads and vice versa. Discussing the issue is all good adn voicing your hurt and diassappointment is important but I myself draw a line there. JMO the 2 homes need to be seperate and this is another way that they get combined. For me when I punished for something done there it started a whole new thing with tattling on one when at the other.

Hope it gets smoother fast for you. She must be really stressed and hurting to be acting out so badly.
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post #16 of 16
3/12/04 at 11:36pm
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