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Shy 7 yr old

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
My 7 yr old daughter is outgoing and talkative and basicly a class clown. With her friends she is really goofy and doesn't seem to care what people think of her.
However, every time we get in a situation that she doesn't know very many people she gets really upset. Usually when we go somewhere that she doesn't know many people, usually parties for kids who's families her father and I are aquainted with, she doesn't talk to anyone and frequently cries if she doesn't see one of us or if there are too many people around her.
We went to a party on Saturday though and she made herself so upset that she threw up. I left her sitting on a couch to go get drinks and I got sidetracked talking to someone. By the time I made it back to her, the room was full of people and she said her stomache hurt. I took her to the bathroom and she threw up.
I feel so bad for her but I don't want to be tethered to her forever and I don't want her to miss out on doing fun things because she is too nervous about not knowing anyone.
Any advice would be appreciated.
post #2 of 4


to Haley. to you!
Poor thing.
post #3 of 4
i sure hope there is some good advise for you!

that must have been horrible for her
post #4 of 4
Hi Elaine,
since she is absolutely fine during situations in which she feels comfortable, I don't think you should be overly concerned about her difficulty. It is very normal for some children (and adults) to feel very anxious in a strange situation. Rather than forcing her to try and adjust at your rate, it will be more helpful for you to spend some time with her helping her to adjust on each occasion. Perhaps you can find one child with whom she can become acquainted, or maybe she should bring with something of her own to play with (that another child could do with her, or that she could do alone) like barbies, polly pockets, paper and markers etc, so that she can always stay near you and play if she wants to and maybe another child will be interested enough to join her and give her a way to adjust through the play. You can also talk to her before going somewhere to try and plan how you will help her adjust--through play, meeting someone, having a plan so she knows where you are. YOu might also teach her some self soothing skills such as talking to herself ("I'm fine mommy will be back soon, I'll count to 100 etc"), deep breathing, words to use to meet other children and things like this, that she can do when she's nervous, to help her feel better. I think if she feels supported by you and is given some ways of coping, she'll help herself to be able to manage better. Good luck.
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