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Is it just me... a question about sahms

post #1 of 22
7/23/04 at 2:13pm
Thread Starter 
Is it just me or does it seem like while at one time only wealthier families could afford for mom to stay at home, it has really turned around and now you find more lower income to middle class families where the mom has chosen to stay at home?
If so, why do you think that is?
Do you think more women are deciding to give up a more expensive lifestyle/quality of living to be able to stay at home?
Do you think childcare costs have something to do with it?
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post #2 of 22
7/23/04 at 2:24pm
One of the reasons I haven't worked is because I would make about enough to cover day care, and maybe have an extra $50-$100. It just wasn't worth it to us.
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post #3 of 22
7/23/04 at 3:20pm
I think child care costs are a big reason why. Like Tara said, $50- $100 dollars a week after taxes and child care costs are deducted really doesn't make it worthwhile.

Also, I think we're the first real generation of latchkey kids, and a lot of us don't want that for our own children if we can manage with one paycheck.
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post #4 of 22
7/23/04 at 3:22pm
Childcare costs...I make $50/wk after I pay my sitter...not even worth it, and if I don't have a raise by the 1st of August my 2 wks is going in!!
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post #5 of 22
7/23/04 at 3:23pm
Thread Starter 
Good point Jennifer. My siblings and I were on our own during the day from the time I was 7. That of course was a different time and place though.
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post #6 of 22
7/23/04 at 3:27pm
I know what you mean, Elaine. I was babysitting for my little brothers when I was eight. My dd is ten, and it will still be a few more years before I let her stay home alone.
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post #7 of 22
7/23/04 at 3:28pm
Well, I'll give this example to show what I am talking about...can't express anything these days in typing.

My SIL takes the two kids to day care in the morning...they leave around 6am...she works all day and picks them up in the afternoon of course...they get home between 5 and 6pm...the kids goes to bed when they get home. So the parents never see their children...maybe 2 whole days out of the week. I think it is more important to stay home with the child than someone else raise them. If you can swing it.

I haven't priced day care around here since we have moved, but in Birmingham it would cost me around $125 a WEEK for Elizabeth. I wouldn't bring any extra income in.
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post #8 of 22
7/23/04 at 3:29pm
Thread Starter 
I can remember being in Kindergarten and being forced to take my brother on walks around the block over and over again in his stroller when he was fussy. I don't allow Haley at 8 to walk up the street and I would never trust her alone with a baby.
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post #9 of 22
7/23/04 at 3:57pm
I guess you can say I'm lucky, if that's what you want to call it. My mom only charges me 50 a week to watch Desiree so that means I pay her 200 a month. My job is good i get paid over 3,000 so unfortunatly for me I still have money left that's needed for our living. So for me working is a must. Now when my moms throughs in the towel and I have to pay for child care around 700 a month I'll probably still have to work.. SAD!!! Maybe if we have two kids that need child care I can stay home. Only time will tell. But I doubt it. From my point of view if anyone is going to be staying home it will probably be my DH cause he makes 1000 less them me a month.. That sucks!!!
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post #10 of 22
7/23/04 at 5:08pm
FOr us it totally has to do with childcare costs....it would cost us around $1000 a month to put the two kids in child care......that means that I would have to get a job that paid at least $15/hr to make it worth while to even work
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post #11 of 22
7/23/04 at 6:31pm
childcare costs are outrageous!!
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post #12 of 22
7/23/04 at 6:32pm
I ama Sahm because I wouldn't be able to make enough money after childcare for it to be worth it.

But most of all, I really couldn't see having my babies and then not being there for them. Growing up I had to watch all 3 of my siblings and do housework and it SUCKED. I also want to have a better relationship with my children than I do with my parents.
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post #13 of 22
7/23/04 at 6:34pm
You said Stephanie!
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post #14 of 22
7/23/04 at 7:36pm
I think childcare is my main reason...I just can't see leaving my kids with someone I don't know and paying bookoos of money for it!
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post #15 of 22
7/23/04 at 11:18pm
I stay home because I am disabled. If I could work, I probably would. It's kind of a moot point for me. But I think a lot of families would rather scarifice the money for one parent to stay home. I think it also makes things a lot easier for the working parent. No worries about missing work to take care of your sick child. There are a lot of nice things about having a stay at home spouse for the working spouse.
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post #16 of 22
7/23/04 at 11:35pm
Yeah I definately think it is the childcare costs. I have been a SAHM with Devin mainly b/c of his surgeries and special cares and daycares do not give one on one attention around here. I am actually going back to work in a few months. I am not making it on Child Support and the other help I am receiving but I don't know how I will be able to take on the child care. I am definately applying for help with that.
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post #17 of 22
7/23/04 at 11:55pm
We decided that it would be better for our daughter if I stayed home with her. Actually, I just couldn't leave her when my maternity leave was up!

At the salary I was making ($1800/mo) it would probably benefit us financially for me to go back to work but I think I'm going to wait til Kimmy starts school. Luckily, dh makes enough to keep us comfortable and we had that choice to make!
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post #18 of 22
7/24/04 at 12:11am
I just started working again. I work three hours a day in the afternoons and my Mom keeps the girls. I don't have to pay for childcare, plus the extra money will help.
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post #19 of 22
7/24/04 at 2:02am
I am at home because I just can't make enough money to pay for the daycare. What I made after paying for that with just Tessa wasn't worth it for me to go to work. Luckily for us Jim makes just enough for us to get by on... And if he gets his promotion anytime soon it will be even easier...
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post #20 of 22
7/24/04 at 10:37am
Thread Starter 
I was working while pregnant with Zach and although my boss begged me to come back and work after I had him (I was a nanny and she wanted me to bring my own children too) I just knew I couldn't do it. I felt like I was in a rut... hated getting up and going to work everyday... and once I realized it was possible for us to get by on just Mike's income, I knew I was going to stay home.
It started out really tough. We were living with no extras, no unnecessary bills (now we have cable, a cable modem, netflix), and only about $100 left each week for groceries and living expenses. Slowly it got better. I started working at the church on Sundays which brought in another $150 a month and Mike got a small raise soon after.
Since then, he has gotten a promotion to a possition making $2 more an hour, I'm still working at the church, I keep Chloe at my home which doesn't pay much but the $200 a month is still nice, and I'm doing some billing work for DH's boss' company which brings in some "bonus" money but no actual steady pay and we are living fairly well.
We would still be considered "low income" and we have no emergency savings or anything but because we live modestly we get by just fine and even have some extras.
When Zach goes to school in two years I've already been told that the company's business office will be mine for the taking if I want it... we'll see.
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post #21 of 22
7/29/04 at 12:59pm
I did work even when Ali was a infant but with her being so sick the choice was I needed to stay home and take care of her plus Jimmy would not let Alisha go to any one but his parents and they are not so young anymore. Then as she got older I have had part time jobs here and there but when she got sick or there was something at school that I needed to help with or be there. I was the one responsiable to be there, so it just was not worth it. I am going to see if anyone will hire me this year with hearing aids and Bell's not much of a chance but if not Jimmy said do more volunteer work. I enjoy being there for my daughter and like Steph said the joy's of all the chores and stuff we had to do as kids, that is just enough to make you scream, plus they were not there as parents either, just a person you answered too.
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post #22 of 22
7/29/04 at 1:32pm
I work and Billy does part-time so that we have a little extra money, but we found a work situation that means our kids have one or both of us home with them all the time. We were determined not to put them in daycare - they are our kids and we want to raise them, to be there when they learn something new, when they make new discoveries, etc.

So for us, it had nothing to do with the price of daycare because we didn't even check into it. For us it is all about being there for our children. We came up with a budget that enables us to use our money wisely and make sure our kids are taken care of and our bills are paid, and to ensure that we are the ones home with them.
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