Five survival strategies to help you size up the joint, keep food on the table, and make your child happy
"When you take a toddler to a restaurant, expect a three-ring circus," says Byron Egeland, a professor at the University of Minnesota's Institute of Child Development. "They may eat with their fingers, make noise, and run around."
Still, you have to do it. "Going to restaurants is part of the long lesson we give kids on how to be civilized," says Marguerite Kelly, author of the nationally syndicated column "Family Almanac." "You don't suddenly become someone who knows not to pour milk on your sister's head. Polite behavior takes practice."
Toddlers aren't the only ones who need practice. So do we -- the toy-schlepping, child-shushing escorts who once enjoyed leisurely meals in restaurants. With planning, though, you can avoid restaurant nightmares. Here's how.
5 Survival Strategies
1. Pick the right place. The restaurant you choose and the time you arrive may determine whether or not you have a successful outing. A casual restaurant at an off-peak hour is best- the service will be quicker, and the staff probably won't care if your kid makes a little noise and a mess. How can you tell at a glance whether you've chosen a place that understands toddler mania? Your first clue is a waiter who smiles at your child rather than cringes. And if she produces a pack of crayons, you know you're in toddler-friendly territory. Other reassuring signs: place mats instead of tablecloths (the better for kids to draw on), a row of high chairs, a kids' menu, and in-house entertainment, such as a fish tank or jukebox.
2. Get things moving. Even if your toddler is sunny and cooperative when you enter the restaurant, her mood could change at any moment. "The longer you're in a restaurant, the more time you're allowing for disasters to happen," says Michelle Sotire, of Stamford, Connecticut. "It was a family joke for years that we wouldn't take our four children anyplace that had a waiter -- it would take too long." The Sotires still run a tight ship when dining out. "We call ahead, get them to set up a table, and order pizza. When we get there, everything's ready. We're out in half an hour."
If precision planning isn't your style -- or the restaurant's -- the question is whether to ask for bread, crackers, and drinks immediately or to hold off. Both strategies have a downside: Making a hungry toddler wait is bad news, but if you let your child fill up on juice and crackers, she won't want to eat when the entrée comes. One suggestion is to bring stuff that will distract your child before the meal is served.
3. B.Y.O.F. (Bring Your Own Fun). Indeed, the best advice for tackling restaurants with this age group is the Boy Scout motto: Be prepared. That means bringing board books, crayons, action figures, or whatever small plaything is holding your toddler's attention this week.
In addition to bringing entertainment, you'll probably also want to pack your own food. For example, Nicole Bloomfield, of New York City, brings her daughter's favorite pasta and sauce, just in case Alex, 20 months, isn't interested in the unfamiliar stuff coming from the restaurant kitchen. And while you're tossing munchies into the goody bag, don't forget your child's bib, kid-size fork and spoon, and cup with a lid.
4. Check out the sights before being served. Rather than waiting until your toddler starts whining and fidgeting to get up, start your stroll while things are still under control.
When Bernadine and Marc D'Eramo, of Orange, California, go out to dinner with their 21-month-old son, Marc takes Parker out for a toddle as soon as they've ordered. "They go outside, walk around, look in store windows -- Marc keeps him moving," says Bernadine. "By the time they get back to the table, the food's there and Parker's hungry. He's happy to sit and eat with us."
5. Know when to bail. Tantrums happen, despite your best efforts. When the Bloomfields took Alex to a new place for dinner, disaster started brewing as soon as they sat down. "The high chair was all wrong. It was so low, her chin was on the table. She freaked," recalls Nicole. "I knew she wasn't going to calm down. Our food had already arrived, but we decided to get doggie bags and eat at home." If your instincts tell you your child has passed the point of no return, it's probably best to cut your losses and get out.
Copyright © 1999 Pamela Marin. Reprinted with permission from the August 1999 issue of Parents Magazine.
"When you take a toddler to a restaurant, expect a three-ring circus," says Byron Egeland, a professor at the University of Minnesota's Institute of Child Development. "They may eat with their fingers, make noise, and run around."
Still, you have to do it. "Going to restaurants is part of the long lesson we give kids on how to be civilized," says Marguerite Kelly, author of the nationally syndicated column "Family Almanac." "You don't suddenly become someone who knows not to pour milk on your sister's head. Polite behavior takes practice."
Toddlers aren't the only ones who need practice. So do we -- the toy-schlepping, child-shushing escorts who once enjoyed leisurely meals in restaurants. With planning, though, you can avoid restaurant nightmares. Here's how.
5 Survival Strategies
1. Pick the right place. The restaurant you choose and the time you arrive may determine whether or not you have a successful outing. A casual restaurant at an off-peak hour is best- the service will be quicker, and the staff probably won't care if your kid makes a little noise and a mess. How can you tell at a glance whether you've chosen a place that understands toddler mania? Your first clue is a waiter who smiles at your child rather than cringes. And if she produces a pack of crayons, you know you're in toddler-friendly territory. Other reassuring signs: place mats instead of tablecloths (the better for kids to draw on), a row of high chairs, a kids' menu, and in-house entertainment, such as a fish tank or jukebox.
2. Get things moving. Even if your toddler is sunny and cooperative when you enter the restaurant, her mood could change at any moment. "The longer you're in a restaurant, the more time you're allowing for disasters to happen," says Michelle Sotire, of Stamford, Connecticut. "It was a family joke for years that we wouldn't take our four children anyplace that had a waiter -- it would take too long." The Sotires still run a tight ship when dining out. "We call ahead, get them to set up a table, and order pizza. When we get there, everything's ready. We're out in half an hour."
If precision planning isn't your style -- or the restaurant's -- the question is whether to ask for bread, crackers, and drinks immediately or to hold off. Both strategies have a downside: Making a hungry toddler wait is bad news, but if you let your child fill up on juice and crackers, she won't want to eat when the entrée comes. One suggestion is to bring stuff that will distract your child before the meal is served.
3. B.Y.O.F. (Bring Your Own Fun). Indeed, the best advice for tackling restaurants with this age group is the Boy Scout motto: Be prepared. That means bringing board books, crayons, action figures, or whatever small plaything is holding your toddler's attention this week.
In addition to bringing entertainment, you'll probably also want to pack your own food. For example, Nicole Bloomfield, of New York City, brings her daughter's favorite pasta and sauce, just in case Alex, 20 months, isn't interested in the unfamiliar stuff coming from the restaurant kitchen. And while you're tossing munchies into the goody bag, don't forget your child's bib, kid-size fork and spoon, and cup with a lid.
4. Check out the sights before being served. Rather than waiting until your toddler starts whining and fidgeting to get up, start your stroll while things are still under control.
When Bernadine and Marc D'Eramo, of Orange, California, go out to dinner with their 21-month-old son, Marc takes Parker out for a toddle as soon as they've ordered. "They go outside, walk around, look in store windows -- Marc keeps him moving," says Bernadine. "By the time they get back to the table, the food's there and Parker's hungry. He's happy to sit and eat with us."
5. Know when to bail. Tantrums happen, despite your best efforts. When the Bloomfields took Alex to a new place for dinner, disaster started brewing as soon as they sat down. "The high chair was all wrong. It was so low, her chin was on the table. She freaked," recalls Nicole. "I knew she wasn't going to calm down. Our food had already arrived, but we decided to get doggie bags and eat at home." If your instincts tell you your child has passed the point of no return, it's probably best to cut your losses and get out.
Copyright © 1999 Pamela Marin. Reprinted with permission from the August 1999 issue of Parents Magazine.
