BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Trying To Conceive › General TTC Discussion › Is it really my destiny?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Is it really my destiny?

post #1 of 18
8/18/04 at 11:00am
Thread Starter 
I know I'm not trying too hard, but sometimes I get the feeling I will never be a mother. I try to look at the bright side of things of being childless...like I can go and do whatever I please. I know that sounds selfish, but some days it is just what I feel. I don't have to worry about who is going to watch my child when I go to work.

BUT, my heart still longs for a child. I still feel like I've got a big hole in my life because I have no child and there isn't anything I can do about it. I want to feel all the joys of pregnancy. I want to be able to hold my OWN child and watch him/her grow up. I want to be able to try breastfeeding. I want to be able to say "I have to do this or that with my daughter or son" "I have to pick my son/daughter up".

I think all the hope has gone out of me and in a way I've given up.
Reply
post #2 of 18
8/18/04 at 11:15am
Cheryl, just one little thought. If this is something that you really, really want..... I would change OB/GYN's. I had a terrible time with my first one dragging her feet. Within 13 months of seeing my current OB I was pregnant. He got to the problem and my surgery is what I needed. Now I'm expecting my wonderful daughter!

I don't mean to sound bossy or preachy, but I just wanted to let you know what I did so maybe you can get on the fast track to Mommyhood.

Good luck.
Reply
post #3 of 18
8/18/04 at 11:56am
You know I am probably the WORST person to post here, but I think you need to sit down and make real decisions. Is your OB/GYN effective, like Kim said? And what will you accept? I may be reading your post wrong, but you stated "your own baby" and experience pregnancy. Then adoption or foster care isn't for you and that is ok! But you and Steve need a plan of attack so at least you did everything you could to achieve what you want. GL Cheryl.
Reply
post #4 of 18
8/18/04 at 12:03pm
I agree-look into a new OB and get going on taking your meds and whatever it takes. See it, think it, believe it and you will recieve it!!

Reply
post #5 of 18
8/18/04 at 12:21pm
sounds like some good advice from the ladies.
Reply
post #6 of 18
8/18/04 at 12:34pm
I wish I knew what to say, but I don't. I would just end up repeating what everyone else said. But I think these ladies are right. Maybe you should check into a new doctor. One that is willing to help you do whatever you need for as long as it takes. I know that God has big plans for you guys.
Reply
post #7 of 18
8/18/04 at 12:37pm
Don't give you if having a child is what you want. Try everything you can, I would change DRs get another fresh opinion.
Reply
post #8 of 18
8/18/04 at 12:53pm
Thread Starter 
I think I might just look into changing doctor's. Thank you for the suggestion and support everyone
Reply
post #9 of 18
8/18/04 at 1:01pm
I know you want to carry your own child and I know this is easy for me to suggest since I have been blessed with two babies, but have you thought about adoption? An adopted child would be your own and I know you would love them as much as you would a biological child.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you lots of luck.
Reply
post #10 of 18
8/18/04 at 1:13pm
I disagree Lisa. (JMO) Cheryl has said more than once that she wants "her own" children. Therefore, as a mother to both biological and adopted kids. (All of which are mine) I don't think it's the right thing for her and that's ok. Adopting is not for everyone and the child comes first. If someone adopts and never thinks that child is their child, it will hurt the child terribly. I am adopted and 2 of my children are. I am no one else's child but my mom and dad's. Aaron and Kevin belong to NO ONE but Billy and I. We believe that to our core or we wouldn't have adopted them. There is no difference in the boys and Olivia that I carried. Actually, I may love them more, she gave me stretch marks.

I'm sorry if I've come off harsh, but my feeling surge into overdrive when it comes to adoption....
Reply
post #11 of 18
8/18/04 at 1:29pm
I know Cheryl has said that many times, but that still doesn't mean adoption wouldn't be right for her. It's an option and one that I know would take a lot of thought and prayer before she could make that decision. Or she may already know that adoption is not for her. Thank you for your opinion, though. I do believe others who have gone through something are the best to give insight to it.
Reply
post #12 of 18
8/18/04 at 5:49pm
Cheryl, I re-read your post. I just wanted to address somethings and tell you what I feel. I am just trying to share. If I have become "preachy" or have overstepped myself, I do apologise.

Quote:
I know I'm not trying too hard, but sometimes I get the feeling I will never be a mother.
Cheryl, I know the feeling. However you need to decide if this is something you and your DH REALLY want. If so, you need to charge ahead FULL STEAM. (If not, that's OK too. )

Quote:
BUT, my heart still longs for a child. I still feel like I've got a big hole in my life because I have no child and there isn't anything I can do about it.
.

I know the hopeless feeling very well. If you want a child and have decided on it... you must take charge of your own fertility and CHARGE ahead. That means getting a good OB/GYN that is invested in helping you become pregnant. Lots of people with PCOS have gotten pregnant and have kiddos. You just need to find someone who will help you. You also have to take care of yourself... you are worthy of this. Exercise, nutrition and taking your meds RELIGIOUSLY are 3 good ways to put down a foundation. See what your health plan covers. Make a plan of attack.

Quote:
I want to feel all the joys of pregnancy. I want to be able to hold my OWN child and watch him/her grow up. I want to be able to try breastfeeding. I want to be able to say "I have to do this or that with my daughter or son" "I have to pick my son/daughter up".
I KWYM here too. I pray that you will be able to have these experiences too. Now all you have to do is find someone to help you figure out what you need to do and do the work.

Quote:
I think all the hope has gone out of me and in a way I've given up.
Don't give up Cheryl! If this is what you really, truely want, GO FOR IT. There is no time like the present. Good luck.
Reply
post #13 of 18
8/18/04 at 6:27pm
Very well said Kim. If it's something that you really want Cheryl, you need to do something about it. Those that get what they want have to work very hard to get it, you can't just sit back and let life pass you by.

Good luck with whatever you decide!
Reply
post #14 of 18
8/18/04 at 7:10pm
I agree too that maybe changing ob's may help. Good luck hon
Reply
post #15 of 18
8/18/04 at 9:46pm
I agree with the other ladies, Cheryl. A fresh look into your infertility will do wonders more than likely.

Not to be rude, but do you know which one of you is having the problem or is it both of you? I was wondering b/c if it is steve, would you object to using another man's sperm? Have you tried IVF? I don't know a lot really about your situation, but I do know that you will make the greatest of mothers!
Reply
post #16 of 18
8/18/04 at 11:03pm
I agree with Kimmy, Cheryl. I think you need to find a new OB/GYN who is more motivated to help you achieve your goal of a baby. I know you will make a great mommy,you just need a new doctor to help you.
Reply
post #17 of 18
8/19/04 at 1:40pm
I disagree with everyone. (Hear me out). Cheryl, I don't think changing OB/GYNs will help very much. There's only so much they can do. Have you thought about going to an RE? They are better suited to handle infertility.

Good luck...and please don't give up!
Reply
post #18 of 18
8/19/04 at 3:53pm
Cheryl... First off from one cyster to another. I really think that you need to find a RE who specializes in PCOS. There are so many things that they can do for you, and since they specialize in the disorder they know what all your options are... Than you and Steve need to sit down and figure out how far you are willing to go...
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: General TTC Discussion
BabyUniversity.com › Forums › Trying To Conceive › General TTC Discussion › Is it really my destiny?