Today was my regular weekly exam ... and of course, no dilation, no progress whatsoever. Surprise, surprise! With both Jessi and Cody, my water broke before I even dilated to a 1, so I wasn't expecting much else.
We scheduled my sonogram for next week to try to guess the baby's wait and determine whether to induce or schedule a c-section. Afterwards, the doctor and I spent quite awhile discussing my options, and after sharing all of Jessica's complications with him, he decided that induction was not a option anymore.
The most dangerous complication she had was shoulder dystocia, which means her head came out, but her shoulders got stuck at my pelvic bone. It was particularly scary since she wasn't breathing anyway, and this just delayed getting her out and beginning resucitation efforts.
She was only 7 1/2 pounds ... and as he put it, if I couldn't deliver 7 1/2 pounds 5 years ago, I still can't. And he's quite certain this baby will be that, easily. Add to that the previous c-section and the other abdominal surgery for the ectopic pregnancy, and he really feels that a repeat c-section is the best route for my health and the baby's.
So ... we are now scheduled to deliver on Friday, the 21st. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it ... nervous to say the least. In the back of my mind, I've felt this would happen all along, but I was holding out hope for having just one normal delivery. I really wanted my last to be that perfect birth -- you know the one. My friend just had one a few weeks ago .... 4 hours of labor, 2 pushes, and out comes all 8 pounds, 11 ounces with no problems! And she's just a tiny thing anyway!
But it doesn't look like I'll ever have that "ideal" birth. Some people just weren't made to birth babies ... and I fully believe that includes me. I'll just count myself lucky that I am able to have big, healthy, children and try not to concentrate on how they make their arrival.
I do wonder if I'll have the same feelings of inadequency as I did with Cody. Of course, I have 2 weeks to prepare myself emotionally, so maybe it won't be as difficult to adjust. I still to this day can't bring myself to say I "gave birth" to Cody or refer to my "delivery". I feel more like the doctor delivered him and I was just the incubator. Oh well ... I'm sure I'll get past it. It's just a technicality anyway.
Well ... now that I have a definite date, it's time to finish a few things up and mentally prepare myself for the surgery and recovery. I'm going to have to practice my self-hypnosis so that I don't freak out once they numb me ... I swear that was the worst part!
On the brighter side ... at least I don't have to worry about what I'm going to do with the kids if I go into labor in the middle of the night! LOL Trying to keep my sense of humor here ... I'm going to need it!