[Week 38 cont.] Mixed emotions - BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews
User Tag List

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 12 Old 12-05-2001, 09:34 PM - Thead Starter
Special Member
 
Dawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,706
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Today was my regular weekly exam ... and of course, no dilation, no progress whatsoever. Surprise, surprise! With both Jessi and Cody, my water broke before I even dilated to a 1, so I wasn't expecting much else.

We scheduled my sonogram for next week to try to guess the baby's wait and determine whether to induce or schedule a c-section. Afterwards, the doctor and I spent quite awhile discussing my options, and after sharing all of Jessica's complications with him, he decided that induction was not a option anymore.

The most dangerous complication she had was shoulder dystocia, which means her head came out, but her shoulders got stuck at my pelvic bone. It was particularly scary since she wasn't breathing anyway, and this just delayed getting her out and beginning resucitation efforts.

She was only 7 1/2 pounds ... and as he put it, if I couldn't deliver 7 1/2 pounds 5 years ago, I still can't. And he's quite certain this baby will be that, easily. Add to that the previous c-section and the other abdominal surgery for the ectopic pregnancy, and he really feels that a repeat c-section is the best route for my health and the baby's.

So ... we are now scheduled to deliver on Friday, the 21st. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it ... nervous to say the least. In the back of my mind, I've felt this would happen all along, but I was holding out hope for having just one normal delivery. I really wanted my last to be that perfect birth -- you know the one. My friend just had one a few weeks ago .... 4 hours of labor, 2 pushes, and out comes all 8 pounds, 11 ounces with no problems! And she's just a tiny thing anyway!

But it doesn't look like I'll ever have that "ideal" birth. Some people just weren't made to birth babies ... and I fully believe that includes me. I'll just count myself lucky that I am able to have big, healthy, children and try not to concentrate on how they make their arrival.

I do wonder if I'll have the same feelings of inadequency as I did with Cody. Of course, I have 2 weeks to prepare myself emotionally, so maybe it won't be as difficult to adjust. I still to this day can't bring myself to say I "gave birth" to Cody or refer to my "delivery". I feel more like the doctor delivered him and I was just the incubator. Oh well ... I'm sure I'll get past it. It's just a technicality anyway.

Well ... now that I have a definite date, it's time to finish a few things up and mentally prepare myself for the surgery and recovery. I'm going to have to practice my self-hypnosis so that I don't freak out once they numb me ... I swear that was the worst part!

On the brighter side ... at least I don't have to worry about what I'm going to do with the kids if I go into labor in the middle of the night! LOL Trying to keep my sense of humor here ... I'm going to need it!
Dawn is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 12 Old 12-05-2001, 10:07 PM
Special Member
 
Jenn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,563
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dawn,
What you are saying I can relate to. With Connor I would have given anything to deliver "normally" instead of having to go through a c-section. I to put in my head, as long as he is healthy that is all that matters. I get angry sometimes that I could not deliver Austin or Connor naturally and sometimes I feel that I failed because I could not deliver Brandon and that is why he died.
All your feelings are so normal! You will be fine. You are a very strong woman and you can handle this. It is probably the feelings of the reality that you are going to be having 3 children in less than 3 weeks and wondering how you will manage. You will, you just kind of have to. I am still adjusting to having the 2.
Now that you have a date you can start planning things and finalizing stuff like who is going to watch the kids, etc.
Keep your chin up kiddo! In now way have you, or me or any other woman that has had a c-section failed at giving birth to your baby. Sure the doctor "delivered" him, but it is your body that gave him life. That in its own is pretty amazing!
If you need to talk, call me or email me!! I just went through this a month ago, I think we could help each other!
Jenn is offline  
#3 of 12 Old 12-05-2001, 10:40 PM - Thead Starter
Special Member
 
Dawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,706
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Somehow I figured you could relate. I think the worst part is actually knowing what to expect. Sometimes I think you're better off being completely in the dark and just taking it as it comes. I'm just going to try to not think about it and instead spend the next two weeks finishing up the nursery and making arrangements for someone to keep the kids. That ought to about take up all my spare time anyway!

I think we can definitely help each other out ... you can count on hearing more from me as reality sinks in! Thanks!
Dawn is offline  
 
#4 of 12 Old 12-05-2001, 10:58 PM
Special Member
 
Jenn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,563
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Anytime Dawn!! That is one thing that made me nervous with my section with Connor because I knew what to expect. I was a wreck, I was crying in the operating room before anything was even done, because I knew what they were going to do. With Austin I had no clue and just went with the flow.
In the end it is all worth it when they show you that baby.
Just keep yourself busy and try to get out of the house as much as you can before the baby. By my second week of being home and not going anywhere I was getting so irritated and felt like I wanted to run!! Anywhere!! But it does get easier as you start to feel better. Just take it easy (or try to) when the baby comes to heal your body.
Keep in touch!!
Jenn is offline  
#5 of 12 Old 12-05-2001, 11:00 PM
Special Member
 
Heather's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 5,717
Likes Earned: 13
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dawn,
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I have no clue as to what you are feeling about having another c-section, I do know the pain that not being able to do things "naturally" without a doctors help. It may not be the same, but in a way it is.
(Right now you are probably yelling at me through your monitor saying "how dare she compare the two"!)
I will keep you and your baby in my thoughts and prayers like always, but, now I will also ask for you to emotionally be ready.
Heather is offline  
#6 of 12 Old 12-05-2001, 11:15 PM - Thead Starter
Special Member
 
Dawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,706
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Heather -- I wouldn't dare yell at you! Actually, as I was typing that, I began feeling bad thinking about you and how hard you have tried to make it into my shoes. I'm sure you wouldn't care less how that baby arrived into this world ... and that makes me realize I'm lucky and it helps me cope a little better.

I think we all have this image from the time we are children ... we get married, get pregnant, and have a baby. Nowhere in those dreams did we face losses, infertility problems, difficult pregnancies, or complicated deliveries. So I do think you are right ... not being able to do things the "normal" way is an emotional barrier ... but as long as the end result is a healthy baby, we can deal with it!

To be honest, I'm a bit relieved. I was beginning to fear a normal delivery ... guess I've just been watching too much Maternity Ward lately! I just need to remember that thousands of women go through this everyday and there's no reason to panic. Heck ... I've been through worse ... I just didn't have the time to dwell on it.

Thank you so much to everyone for being there ... it's great to have so much positive feedback. Betcha didn't know I was such a big chicken, did ya???
Dawn is offline  
#7 of 12 Old 12-05-2001, 11:38 PM
Special Member
 
Heather's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 5,717
Likes Earned: 13
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dawn,
Thanks for understanding what I was trying to say.
Please don't feel bad because of your feelings on another c-section because of me.
You may not know this, but, you have helped me cope with my ectopic pregnancy. I would probably be afraid to try again if it wasn't for you.
Heather is offline  
#8 of 12 Old 12-07-2001, 11:44 AM
Special Member
 
Beckers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Streetsboro, Ohio
Posts: 1,933
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dawn, I also understand where you are coming from. I feel like less of a woman because I couldn't "give birth" to Faith. I am almost embarrassed to say that I had a c-section. Both of my sisters had their at least 1 child naturally, and I couldn't. I had a problem with the spinal also, I thought I was suffocating. Plus I was couldn't hold her right after I had her and I was so drugged the first day after having her that I can barely remember anything about it, those are memories I should be able to treasure. If you need to talk I am here, I certainly understand what you are going through now.
Beckers is offline  
#9 of 12 Old 12-07-2001, 12:41 PM
Advanced Member
 
jbunny24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: maryland
Posts: 739
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
As a woman who has had two "normal" births, I have to say that I think that giving birth is giving birth - do not ever be embarrassed to say that you had a C - section!! I think it is by far the hardest route...heck, I had it easy! You have to go through more than me to have your babies - you will have better stories to make your kids feel guilty with (LOL).

I know and every mom out there knows that you didn't get into the hospital, and say "I can't handle this - knock me out and give me a C-section. It was a medically necessary decision that you and your doctors made for the safety of your baby.

Dawn - I'm pretty sure that you are no chicken! You are having normal feelings. I remember when my friend who has had three C-sections now was scheduled for her third how afraid she was. I don't feel like she is any less of a woman or a mother for having had three C-sections - actually, I admire her more!

Dawn - Will you have to be in the hospital on Christmas Day?

By the way, having had two relatively easy births, I overheard my MIL remarking to someone once, "Julie is just made for having babies - she can just pop them right out!" That statement made me feel like a cow, or another livestock animal. She said everything short of "nice and sturdy with good breeding hips" LOL

Good luck Dawn - I will definitely be thinking about you that day.
jbunny24 is offline  
#10 of 12 Old 12-10-2001, 10:47 PM
Addicted Member
 
Meagan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Spencer, IN
Posts: 18,933
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dawn I am sorry you will have to have a c-section again. It is nice having it planned. At least no midnight rushes...and don't have to worry about your water breaking on Christmas Day. I was disappointed that I can never deliver a child "naturally" but I also realize that is just one moment in my childs life. I am so glad that I am blessed with two healthy beautiful children that I do not care how they got here. Don't feel bad about being chicken...I cried the whole time I was being wheeled into the delivery room and cried all thru the spinal! I am a big chicken too!
Meagan is offline  
#11 of 12 Old 12-11-2001, 09:26 PM
Member
 
katthing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Australia - Queensland
Posts: 172
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
An ideal birth for me would be for the dr to put my healthy baby in my arms. So don't worry how you baby comes into you arms, remember you have put in 10 months of hard work into helping your baby to grow that you deserve the best in helping you to deliver!! good luck
katthing is offline  
#12 of 12 Old 12-12-2001, 05:58 PM
Special Member
 
Josie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,426
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dawn, I gave birth naturally and it took sooo long I don't know if you read my birth story or not, But I pushed for a very long time and they wanted to give me a C section and I was soooo afraid of that!! If you ask me, You are just as much woman, If not more for going through a C section! I scares me!! I just wish you the very best in delievering your baby!! My thoughts will be with you for sure!! The time is coming sooo soon!!!
Josie is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off