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#1 of 13 Old 06-22-2002, 12:45 PM - Thead Starter
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Someone once told me that if a woman doesn't feel sexy .. then her DH/SO isn't doing his job. Meaning that it is up to the man to make the woman feel sexy. Do you feel this is true? And vice/versa.
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#2 of 13 Old 06-22-2002, 01:26 PM
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I think we need to make ourselves feel sexy, although dh has to make an effort to help us feel that way
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#3 of 13 Old 06-22-2002, 02:05 PM
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Gotta agree with Michele. We have to feel good about ourselves to start with or no amount of words from our DH/SO is going to make a difference. But I do think that they need to let us know on a regular basis that they still find us attractive.

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#4 of 13 Old 06-22-2002, 04:09 PM
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No.
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#5 of 13 Old 06-22-2002, 04:39 PM
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I think that it is up to us to make ourselves feel sexy and it's up to the man to acknowledge our effort (in a big way).
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#6 of 13 Old 06-22-2002, 07:06 PM - Thead Starter
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I have to agree. Feeling sexy has to come from inside yourself .. and your DH/SO can just help it along by letting you know that he thinks you are sexy too. You know .. a little confirmation goes a long way!

I do think that we need to let our hubbies know that we think they are sexy also. You don't have to just come right out and say it (although sometimes that is good), you can make sure he feels sexy by your actions towards him!
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#7 of 13 Old 06-22-2002, 11:36 PM
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Well Court is always telling me how beautiful I am and how sexy I am...and I look in the mirror and just don't see it! I think it is up to ourselves to look and feel our best..but of course the man has to tell us how wonderful we look!
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#8 of 13 Old 06-23-2002, 12:38 AM
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I think that women play a HUGE role in how the feel and look.

My hubby once commented on a lady from church. In the 3 years we have known her, her physcial beauty--posture, health, color, mental health, everything--has declined SO much. It is terrible. I have been to her home. I also once heard that the way your house looks is how you feel about yourself. In her case, she REALLY didn't care about herself very much. She still doesn't. She looks worse than she has ever.

We started noticing how her hubby treated her. He was nice to her. However, he was never loving to her.

I believe she could have done a lot to change herself and in turn change how he felt about her or at least treated her. However, I feel it was a two way street.

I know when I don't feel pretty, I have to look around me. How I am being treated? Not just by my hubby, but by myself? Am I putting myself down? Is he eluding to things such as weight or appearance? (Thad has never come right out and said I look terrible or fat or ugly, even when many days I truly thought I looked that way.)

When I am thinking that way, or he is acting that way, THAT is when I need to do something for myself. Take a hot bubble bath. Shave all that I care to. Style my hair differently. Put on some make-up. Wear a pretty outfit, even if I am just around the house (nothing too fancy, though, I wouldn't be comfortable). Maybe go for a walk. Consider my diet. Write in my journal. Read a love story. Watch a romantic movie. Leave the house! (That usually is what does it. Even if I go to the library. As long as I am away from the house.)

Some times, just flirting with Thad can make me feel sexy and, in turn, make him act like I am sexy. Even if I really am not at the time.

I think our psychological make-up has a lot to do with it all. How we feel about ourselves, how we are treated, how we are programmed to think, etc., can effect how we see ourselves and if we are acting like sexual beings. I think, personally, it is up to us, and possibly with the help of a therapist, to change how we have been made to think about ourselves and start acting like we really are--wild sexual beasts! J/K We can at least became sensual beings that are loving and feel good about ourselves no matter how we look on the outside or how others see us.
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#9 of 13 Old 06-23-2002, 05:29 AM
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We have to feel good about ourselves before we'll believe them anyway. Get up and going everyday and always make yourself feel good. His praise is an added bonus. Although, even when I look like crap, right when I wake up, Adam always tells me how beautiful I am. He's good like that.
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#10 of 13 Old 06-23-2002, 04:20 PM
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RIGHT ON AUTUMNGIRL!
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#11 of 13 Old 06-23-2002, 04:25 PM
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I have to agree the with majority here and say that we make ourselves feel the way we do by having good self esteem and a postive attutude about ourselves. A partner's compliments add points to how we already feel (especially when we feel sexy).

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#12 of 13 Old 07-05-2002, 05:15 PM
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I agree with Leah.

If I never make an effort to make myself feel and look sexy why should my husband ever think that I am....although he always does. It feels wonderful when he says though
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#13 of 13 Old 07-15-2002, 10:37 AM
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I think it's very important for the man to make the woman feel like she is still attractive to him. Speaking from experience, I feel that if the man doesn't do things to make his woman feel like she is special to him, then the woman can tend to feel unloved by him. Maybe not in all cases, but in some.
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