Is parenting harder than it used to be? - BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews
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#1 of 11 Old 12-18-2008, 06:36 PM - Thead Starter
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After reading some of the comments on another site about the parents of the little boy who was found in a toy store, I was a bit appaulled by the lack of empathy. Right now, it appears we are having a baby boom, but today fewer adults than ever are or were parents. Do you think this is causing harshier critizism of parents? Is it harder to be a parent today?

 
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#2 of 11 Old 12-18-2008, 06:52 PM - Thead Starter
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IMO, in some ways it is easier. We have better toy safety, car seats, and all sorts of safety devices they didn't have in 1960. We have more vaccines, better health care, access to more information on health care and child rearing. In many ways, it is easier than ever to be a parent.

But IMO in one really significant way it is harder: more critizism. Almost everyday you can find an article in the news about some parent whose kid ran off, threw a tantrum or did something kids do and everyone and their dog is critizising the heck of the parents. Because there is all this information available and safety devices abound, kids are somehow not supposed to get hurt, sneak off or just plain misbehave. It's like the nonparenting world has no earthly clue what parenting is really like.

Gosh, the parents fell asleep and the kid sneaked out. They went to the bathroom and the kid got into the medicine cabinet using two chairs and a cardboard box. How could that ever happen! OMG! Call CPS and take the kids. Put them in foster homes !

You breastfed. You didn't breastfeed. You used a pacifier. You didn't use a pacifer. You made your kid wear handmedowns. You gave your kid toys. You didn't volunteer enough at your kid's school. You homeschooled. It seems like sometimes as a parent, no matter what you do, you are going to be wrong and there is going to be someone standing there telling you all your shortfalls in minute detail. Spend some time with kids unkidded people and learn that they are human beings. They don't have off switches just because mom or dad have the flu, or have to go to work (or the bathroom for that matter). They have their own minds, thoughts and feelings. They aren't just little adults who think like grown ups. And give kids and parents some slack.

Yes, there are bad parents out there. But not every parent is a bad parent and not all kids are picture perfect or little thugs.

 
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#3 of 11 Old 12-19-2008, 10:30 AM
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I think parenting is a tough job regardless and I don't imagine our parents' had it easier than us but I tend to think that modern technology has given us challenges that no parents before us had to deal with. Not only do we have to teach "stranger danger" in real life, but we have to teach our kids how to protect themselves on the internet and considering kids don't usually grasp the concept easily, we have to be constantly over their shoulders' making sure they are safe.
I also think that girls are growing up quicker now than ever before ... I don't have any facts or points to back that up but I did read an article recently about how when our parents were kids, 12 was 12, when we were children 12 was 15, and nowadays 12 is the new 17. It's scary and I may get jumped on for this but I think it's in part due to the general lax in our country's morals and values.

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I'd love to be the ideal mother but I'm too busy raising my kids.

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#4 of 11 Old 12-19-2008, 11:45 AM
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Liz you brought back the good ole days of Jordache zipper jeans, lol. but yes I do agree.. kids today dont compare to how we had it back than. My son just turn 7 and I've been showing him how fun outdoors can be. We use to ride our bikes everywhere, dont come home till the street lights comes on, dig holes with sticks we found.. kids today are glued to tv watching spongebob (i love spongebob) haha or in front of the computer.. playing video games or whatever.. so i at least try to show them how good i had too growing up as a kid.. now.. for materialistic things.. I do have to admit Raymond has more than i ever did at his age.. I guess the only reason why i do this.. is because i try to give him what i didnt have back than.. He has a cheap mp3 player that i got at toys r us.. I wouldnt buy him the lastest ipod..

Ive seen alot of parents today who try to discipline their children.. but when its alil too late.. when the kids are already lost respect for them and the parents kept giving in. I still have the same morals that I grew up as a child that my parents gave to me. Except I dont go cussing at them like mine did.
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#5 of 11 Old 12-19-2008, 11:55 AM
 
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I agree with Elaine...that there is a decline in morals. Along with that there are many parents who are afraid to parent. Kids have too much. Mine included. It's an instant gratification generation. We don't have to wait for anthing. Information is at our fingertips. My husband and I are included in giving in to our kids but have drawn the line at telelvisions, computers, and cell phones. We pray we can stay strong with this decision as they grow up.
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#6 of 11 Old 12-19-2008, 11:56 AM - Thead Starter
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Nowadays, kids want designer jeans, back then, I wanted the cool Jordache that zipped at the ankle or at least ones that I could do a tight roll on.
I was desprite for those, too, Liz. I never got them though. I did eventually get a pair of Britannia jeans though and they were not as wonderful as I thought they would be.

I saw more commericals than my kids do because my mom was pretty permissive on the tv. My kids don't really see any commericals because we don't get any stations where we live. They just watch videos. I think watching a lot of commericals did make me more dissatisfied than my kids who don't watch any - especially as I got older. These jeans will make you cool. Etc. Etc.

Also, when I was a kid, the social pecking order didn't evolve until junior high. My five year old faces downright snobbery. So much for "free to be you and me". I find myself having conversations with my dd that my parents didn't have with me until I was 11 or 12.

 
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#7 of 11 Old 12-19-2008, 04:34 PM
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I'd have to sya no. I just think that times have changed and our challenges are different than those of our parents/grandparents etc.

I agree with Liz that I think Technology plays a huge part in how parenting has changed.
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#8 of 11 Old 12-23-2008, 04:53 PM
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That depends on what kind of parent you want to be.

Seems like a lot of kids are getting whatever they want, and going wherever they want. I think parents are losing control. It's hard for me to teach my kids good morals when a lot of other parents aren't paying attention to what their kids are doing.

I agree with Elaine. Girls are growing up so fast(boys too for that matter).
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#9 of 11 Old 12-24-2008, 11:02 AM
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Elaine, I agree with you totally!
And Liz, you are right. I think there has always been criticism, but it is a different world today, and the world is much more "self" focused, absolutely.

Tammy
wife to Kyle 4/27/96
Proud mom of two fabulous kids:
Emily 1/11/03
Travis 10/6/06
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#10 of 11 Old 12-29-2008, 11:56 PM
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In some ways yes and in others, no. Every generation faces its' own particular parenting challenges. I think Liz is right that it's not that it is necessarily harder or that parents are more critiz3d, it's just that we hear more about it.

~*~Brenda~*~
mom to Drew (16) High School At Last!
mom to Ally (10) 4th Grade, Baby! WooHoo!

Parenthood:  That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.  ~Marcelene Cox  Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children.  ~Marilyn Penland
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#11 of 11 Old 01-23-2013, 05:54 AM
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The joy of parenting is not there now.  There is so much state intervention, preaching and political correctness that young parents seem to have lost the way.  This is not the their fault.  Children are important but they are only as important as the adult or adults who provided emotional care, physical care and a home environment because without these a child will not survive and I think that we need to get back to the traditional family values and structure that served my parents and grandparents very well.

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