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#1 of 4 Old 05-08-2004, 12:23 PM - Thead Starter
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How many church members does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least fifteen. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including candescent, fluorescent, three- way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish:[/] What's a light bulb?

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." - Hebrews 11:1
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#2 of 4 Old 05-08-2004, 04:17 PM
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#3 of 4 Old 05-08-2004, 05:42 PM
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#4 of 4 Old 05-08-2004, 11:50 PM
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