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Jannie 05-31-2006 06:47 PM

My Niece/cousin is getting married fall next year.

We have always invited her to all the kids activities and such. We have come to all her things growing up too. We were just advised that she does not want mine or my SIL's kids invited to the wedding.

She the niece/cousin stood up in my SIL wedding and she came to mine. My Aunt cant believe that the kids are not invited/or even standing up. How do you feel, should I get over it?

DQKaren 05-31-2006 07:01 PM

I didnt care who was at my wedding. (well you know what I mean) The more the merrier it was a time of celebration and happiness.

My brother and his x had talked about a wedding where no children would be and I said go have a nice time.

Personally I think it depends on how involved the person is with children that would come. IF they are "regulars in childrens lives then I think they should invite/allow children.

But I know alot of people who want it to be an "adult" thing too.

If the person is important to you I say leave the kids and go for awhile but leave early.

I got an invite alst year that was to me & my family and then the bride whited out the & family part. Needless to say I sent my regrets. My family is a BIG part of who I am. and it would have been one thing if the & family had never been on the invite but to put it on and then white it out really rubbed me the wrong way.

Zyrilia 05-31-2006 07:18 PM

We allowed kids at our wedding. Of course, it was a really small deal - I think there were three kids (a 3-month old, a 17 month old, and my 11 year old step brother).

Yeah, I have to agree, Karen - more than the family not being invited, I'd take more offense at the white out. I mean, geez...

melizerd 05-31-2006 07:28 PM

well we got married in my mom's living room The only kid there was Lys. Personally other then my (and his) immediate family member's children if I had had a big wedding I wouldnt' have invited the kids. Only my family's kids, I would have wanted an adult party, especially for the reception.

Miss Bea Haven 05-31-2006 09:07 PM

Their wedding, their decision. I completely understand why people don't want kids there. I've been to many weddings where I couldn't even hear what was being said because of all the crying babies and bored children who were whining. And I've been to wedding receptions where kids ran around taking the center pieces apart and generally acting like complete brats. You can't rely on parents to control their kids nowadays (of course, I'm not talking about any of you because your children are angels, of course). If I was spending all that time and money on a wedding, I'd consider having adults only myself.

Grace 05-31-2006 10:01 PM

I eloped so, nope. No one but dh's granny and the preacher where there outside of the two of us. All I can think of is they are planning a drunken party afterwards and don't think it's approriate to have kids around alchol. I know if I was invited to a wedding dance and a lot of drinking was going on, I would not bring my dd or not attend myself (most likely).

AndreaB 06-01-2006 04:04 AM

i see where you are coming from Jennifer, i had kids at my wedding and it was one of the highlights watching my nephew dance with a friends daughter... i love kids at weddings!

i have seen some of the horror kids though and i agree that some parents don't watch their kids enough.

Lady Knight 06-01-2006 10:15 AM

As my bridesmaid was only 10 and my pageboy and flower girl were only 5 I kind of had to let the kids come not to mention the bridesmaid 6 year old sister and the flower girls 7 year old sister, the bridesmaid and her sister are my cousins ( I promised Khadine when she was 5 that she could be my bridesmaid if I ever got married), the pageboy is my son and the flower girl and her sister are my best friend daughters.

We had a ball and the children were all well behaved, possibly bc they had 50 friends and relatives watching over them they were also taken home at 9pm to watch videos and sleep on mattresses on the floor in the living room of my Aunt's house they had an absolute ball

If people look after their kids and take them home before they get tired and over excited there is no reason kids can't go to weddings, but I can also see why people may want a sophisticated adult wedding. Our wedding was a real family wedding but some people invite more friend than family. (maybe they don't have as many relatives as I do, we were just lucky that most of my relatives live too far away to come )

As for the white out, that is just plain tacky, she could at the very least have rewritten a new invitation

Shona 06-01-2006 10:24 AM

yes they were invited

StevesSweetie 06-01-2006 11:24 AM

Even though our wedding was word of mouth and anyone we knew was invited to it, no one brought any children to the wedding. I would have been ok if someone brought their child.

dinapooh2 06-01-2006 12:10 PM

We had kids in our wedding and also guests that came from out of town and brought their children. We had no problems. I was just so glad to be getting married that I didn't care who came. The more the merrier.

marylunn20 06-01-2006 12:22 PM

ultimately it's their wedding and their decision, but i like having kids around for stuff like that

lvissers 06-01-2006 12:32 PM

It's their special day and their decision. Even though it may hurt feelings, you need to let it go. (I know, easier said then done)

Kids were invited to our wedding and we had a ring bearer and flower girl. (But that was our decision)

MelanieTwo 06-01-2006 12:34 PM

At our wedding, kids could come to the wedding ceremony but we said no kids at the reception as for us we just felt that the things that go on at a wedding reception are really for adults only and we didn't feel that kids should see that kind of stuff. That was just our opinion. I am not sure the reasoning for your cousin.

Milly 06-01-2006 12:40 PM

She might have her reasons so I don't think you should be offended. I'm sure it's nothing against your kids.

tailwaggers 06-01-2006 12:47 PM

We got married in Las Vegas. We didn't say "no kids," and there were a few older kids at the wedding, but honestly, most people didn't bring their kids because no matter how much they try to say Vegas is family friendly, it's not really that great for small kids.

NicoleB 06-01-2006 02:56 PM

The only kid I didn't want there was dh's niece, but she came anyways.

I didn't care if other kids were there.

number 2 is due 07-13-2011 10:33 PM

It is ultimately up to the bride and groom.  I have found that most children do not go along to weddings most of the time, even if they are invited.  As long as it is known ahead of time and stated in the wedding invitations, whatever the bride and groom decide should be fine. 

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