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#1 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 11:31 AM - Thead Starter
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September 13th-18th The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Well, first let me explain that Tim and I have been working on our marriage this year.
I am in family counseling with Julie Yocham, who is license in individual and group counseling. She comes to my home every Tuesday morning for a one hour session.

I have told her about the abuse that occurred throughout our marriage, about our differences of opinion during arguments and how can I change my position from throwing Tim's past in his face.
Tim has not participated in the counseling sessions with Julie and that makes it difficult.

NOW TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE GOOD, THE BAD and THE UGLY...

Now the Good

Friday Sept. 13th
Tim helped me home schooling Michael and worked with him on his colors and shapes. I made several games they can play like the sorting shapes games which is 8 shapes (2 circle, 2 square, 2 triangle and 2 heart) we colored them last week matching colors. Now Timothy places the shapes in front of Michael and asks him to find a heart and Michael picks up the heart and Timothy asks can you find another heart?
I have made 2 other games like this: one with farm animals (cow, sheep, pigs, goats ) and assorted colored bears that can be matched. I thought it would help Michael with learning colors, shapes and numbers.
So far it has been a success! Michael loves playing those games.

Saturday Sept. 14th
Tim arrived home from work with a surprise for Michael, A table and chair set for home schooling and play time. It looks like a picnic table and could easily seat 6 children Michael's age. I plan on using it for Michael's birthday party this year. We are having a Blue's Clues theme!
Tim has been a bit grumpy like his usual self but is trying not to make rude remarks towards me anymore.

The BAD

Monday Sept.16th

Tim comes home telling me that his Manager Domenic Sebben has been told by the company that he needs to fire about 40 people since the company's spending on payroll exceeds their planned budget. They should be spending about 40,000 per month on payroll but are spending about twice that amount. If this continues the company will go out of business soon. Tim's main boss Tim Hall knows that they can't get Domenic to fire anyone because he is too soft hearted. So the job has been given to my Tim. Tomorrow Timothy has to let some people go who have not been productive or doing their job, missing work without notice, etc.

THE UGLY

Tuesday Sept. 17th

It's 12:30 AM and Tim never came home!!!

I called work about 8 PM and they said he got off work at 5:30 PM. Even with the bus, Tim gets home around 7 PM. I was worried that maybe an employee took off his anger on Tim. I called my parents and they began to worry too!

We Michael and I couldn't sleep. Rather than get online, I chose to spend time with Michael. Toddlers can picked up worry and stress and he felt Mommy was upset. Michael knew Daddy was not here and wanted to know "Where's Daddy?"

Well, Michael feel asleep at 1AM and I stayed up waiting for word on Timothy. At 2:45 AM, I heard a faint knock at the door. I checked through the peep hole and saw Timothy. When I open the door there was a man beside him. Timothy said that the man saved his life. The man told me he found Timothy on the side of the road on Hilldebrand Ave. not far from Tim's job.

Timothy's face was all blooded, his backpack was missing and so were his eyeglasses. The man asked if he could clean his shirt with a napkin since Tim's blood has gotten on it. Tim said he was jumped by 2 youth and they tried to take his wallet but he fought back. I asked him "where were you after work? When did this happen? Tim again said that he was jumped and the man interrupted and said "Tell the truth." "It's always better to tell the truth."

The man left and Tim told me he was hurt pretty bad. He has swelling around his ribs and I think he has bruised ribs on the left side of his body, he has a dislocated shoulder and his face looks like a mack truck hit him. He won't tell me how he got that way except that 2 youth jumped him and took his backpack. It had his new dress shoes for work in there. His eyeglasses are missing but I can easily use his second pair that are tinted and have Eyemart Express remove the tint so he can wear them at work.

I tried to clean him up but al he keep saying was that he tried to get away. Tim is very good at defending himself and I was surprised that 2 youth could overtake him. I smelled alcohol on Tim and I think that he was drunk when he was attacked. If he was drunk I could see how he could not defend himself with slow reflexes. When I tried to ask Tim the details, he blew up at me and starting telling me "I hate you," "I knew you'd be this way!"

I didn't even grill him but he acted like I did. He told me to leave him alone and he slept downstairs on the couch so as not to wake Michael.

Sept. 18th

Michael and I awoke at 8 AM, Since TIM was asleep downstairs I thought I could keep Michael upstairs with me with toys, books and videos. When I got out of the bathroom, we saw Tim crawl into bed. His face is bruised up pretty bad. Before I could say anything he remarked, "Leave me alone!!!"
I told him all I wanted was the truth and he blurted, "Okay you want the truth! I had a very stressful day and I went drinking and got jumped on the way home! Now leave me alone and don't throw it in my face either!!!"

How am I supposed feel. He spent the money in his account that was for the Earthlink monthly internet charge. While we can probably replace the money in time before the charges accrue on Friday the fact that Tim was irresponsible leaves me questioning all the work we placed into our marriage the last few months!

I told Julie my counselor about this and she feels that Michael and I should stay with my parents today.
Both Michael and I are sick with the flu and I really don't want to expose my parents to the flu but I don't want fireworks with Tim today either...

_______________________
Sandra Jean Lombard
Homeschooling Mommy to Michael Timothy born December 1, 1999
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#2 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 12:14 PM - Thead Starter
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Well I called my mom but I thinK they went out. I will try again later.

I am so angry with tim over this. Why is he doing this? I can understand being stressed out but he could have drunk at home.

The first time he did this was when Michael was a preemie in the NICU. I was home sleeping when I got a phone call from an EMS unti who told me a park ranger had found TIM in a ditch in a park. They wanted to know if I wanted him taken to the emergency room or if not they would take him to jail to sleep it off. I chose the hospital then and had my parents take me to the same hosptial our infant son was in.

There I was, upstairs in the Neonatal Unit trying to pump milk for Michael but because I was stressed out I could produce any milk!

I was upset that Tim could do this while our son was here in the hospital back then in January 2000. During his stay they ran tests because it was reported he was hit by a car. All the time he was in and out of consciousness telling the doctor he didn't know me. Well when the doctor explained that if no one would claim him he was going to jail. Well he remembered me fast after that.
I will never forget him saying in front of the hospital staff "I don't want to go home with that B__tch!" over and over again.

He smelled like puke and it was all over his clothes and so were leaves and dirt. I forgave him then because he had never done the before.

NOW THIS TIME, HE'S DONE IT AGAIN AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIM? ANY IDEAS?

_______________________
Sandra Jean Lombard
Homeschooling Mommy to Michael Timothy born December 1, 1999
Soulmate to Timothy

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#3 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 12:14 PM
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I am so sorry Sandra. I know you must have been so very worried about him when he did not come home. I am glad you are at your parents house though.
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#4 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 12:21 PM - Thead Starter
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Meagan,

I'm still here at home. I couldn't reach my mom. Michael and I are sick with the flu otherwise I would have taken a bus out of here for the day.

Tim is upstairs sleeping "it" off. I am sure he has either bruised ribs or fractured ones. I tired last night to get him to go to a hospital but he refused.

I wish I could avoid him today because he is probably gonna be a ugly grouchy SOB the rest of the day. To think he's off until Saturday...

_______________________
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Homeschooling Mommy to Michael Timothy born December 1, 1999
Soulmate to Timothy

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where I discuss life is like being a parent to a toddler with special needs.

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#5 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 12:50 PM
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I am sorry Sandra

I hope Tim realizes it is not your fault he went out and got drunk and got beat up.

You take care of yourself and Michael! You two really don't need this behaviour when you are both sick

and I am saying prayers for ALL of you!
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#6 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 01:00 PM
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Sandra, I am so sorry. I wish that I had some wisdom for you but I don't. Just know that I'm here if you need anything. You are all in my prayers...
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#7 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 01:02 PM
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Oh Sandra, I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry he's behaving this way especially in front of your son. I hope you feel better soon and you both get over your flu quickly. I hope Julie can help you with the Tim situation.

 
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#8 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 01:10 PM
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I'm sorry all of this happened Sandra! I wouldn't know what to do eaither. Maybe just let him be until he calms down, or is in a better mood. I know thats tuff, but it's better than sparks flying.
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#9 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 02:42 PM
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I am sorry you weren't able to leave today. I hope after he sleeps it off he comes to his senses and is much more reasonable. He needs to go to the doctor. Did he call the police at all?
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#10 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 02:54 PM
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Sandra. I hope you are able to get to your Mom's soon. I hope that you and Michael feel better soon, also, and that you can find an answer as to what to do with/about Tim within yourself soon, also. Whether he had a bad day or not, that is no excuse to act so irresponsibly toward his family. JMO. You are in my prayers.
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#11 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 02:58 PM - Thead Starter
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No Tim didn't report it to the police. The only thing missing is his backpack with his books and dress shoes.

I check in dress slacks and everything is there: his wallet, keys, pens, etc. Nothing is missing from his wallet, I check that first!

It's about 1 PM central and Tim is still asleep upstairs. I guess he miss be really hung over. I think my mother and father had a doctor's appt. because they are usually home. I reached my cousin and she wil be off from work this afternoon, she said that if I still want to then Michael and I can stay at her house until things cool down.

Thank you everyone for your concern


_______________________
Sandra Jean Lombard
Homeschooling Mommy to Michael Timothy born December 1, 1999
Soulmate to Timothy

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#12 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 05:10 PM
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I don't know what to say, Sandra. Tim really needs to work on his problems and not take everything out on you. I hope you and Michael go to either your parents or your cousins for a few days so that Tim can cool down. I'm keeping you in my prayers.
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#13 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 06:16 PM - Thead Starter
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Well it's 4 PM central, Tim awoke at 2 PM. He is not being grumpy but quiet "like a dog that has his tail between his legs." I didn't say a word about last night to him but instead I made him some soup and he and Michael had lunch together.

He has a concusion, broken ribs, busted mouth and nose, and a dislocated shoulder. He said that he was drinking but had left early to come home realizing that it was wrong to be keeping us worried. Two young men jumped him as he walked to the bus stop. They wanted money and his backpack. He managed to get away but because he was intoxicated they caught up to him and attacked him.

He was knocked out unconsious for several hours when this man saw him and help him into his car and took him to our home. We reported it to the police and the officers just left our home. My parents are taking Tim to the hospital because he is having trouble breathing and looks very ill.

I am staying behind here at home because Michael is still sick and so am I.

I will let you all know what the doctor says when my mother calls me later.

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Sandra Jean Lombard
Homeschooling Mommy to Michael Timothy born December 1, 1999
Soulmate to Timothy

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#14 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 10:11 PM
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Oh Sandra I am sorry I just saw this now. I hope that Tim is ok. I am thinking of you guys. I hope things mellow out for you all
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#15 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 10:16 PM
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Been thinking of you all day, girl. Hope it all turns out ok.
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#16 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 11:11 PM
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Oh I hope everything is ok. I am glad you called the police and that he agreed to go to the hospital! for all of you.
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#17 of 21 Old 09-18-2002, 11:31 PM
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Sandra, your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Please know that I am thinking of you tonght!

~*~Brenda~*~
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mom to Ally (10) 4th Grade, Baby! WooHoo!

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#18 of 21 Old 09-19-2002, 12:34 AM - Thead Starter
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It's 10:20 PM central. My mother called and they stopped by to check on me and Michael.

Tim is in the hospital with the following:


Broken Nose
several broken ribs
Dislocated shoulder
Busted lip/mouth
Concusion

The hospital's policy is that patients with concusions are required to remain overnight for observation.

I spoke with Tim awhile ago. He said he was sorry for everything. He is surprised I haven't let him have it.
I told him that all I could think of was that I felt something telling me to be humble and not to be angry.

I guess I didn't want to argue either. He knows he was wrong and I guess maybe he will now stop doing a stupid thing like this again. My Dad said that he is lucky to be alive. Two bodies of men were found recently after they were attacked and mugged. I wish I could find this man's name who saved Tim. All we know is that he was a Christian.

So if you'll excuse me, tonight I'll be off the boards until tomorrow because I am going to spend some time staying up and thinking about how blessed we are that we are still a family.

_______________________
Sandra Jean Lombard
Homeschooling Mommy to Michael Timothy born December 1, 1999
Soulmate to Timothy

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#19 of 21 Old 09-19-2002, 08:32 AM
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Sandra I am so glad that it wasn't any worse than it is. Tim is very lucky.

for each of you
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#20 of 21 Old 09-19-2002, 08:46 AM
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I am so thankful that man found him and that Tim is going to be ok. I do think you are blessed and I think you have an watching over you!
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#21 of 21 Old 09-19-2002, 09:41 AM - Thead Starter
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I do too!

Thanks everyone for your prayers. I am grateful that it wasn't worse. While a part of me is upset with Tim for drinking, right now the inportant thing is his recovery from that attack by those young men.

_______________________
Sandra Jean Lombard
Homeschooling Mommy to Michael Timothy born December 1, 1999
Soulmate to Timothy

Click here for Michael's webpage
Click here for Family Homepage at Baby U.


Click here to read my Parenting Journal
where I discuss life as a parent to a toddler with special needs.

Moderator of CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

RAINY DAY ACTIVITIES

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