SNAPPY COMEBACKS FOR PRYING QUESTIONS
"Wow, Are You Having Twins?"
"Boy, are you HUGE!"
Does it seem like your pregnancy is of vital national interest to loved ones and total strangers alike, and they feel perfectly justified in blurting out any old question or comment that enters their brains? Of course the well-bred lady in you must be polite, kind, sweet, and deferential, if only for the sake of the decorum. What runs across your mind to answer them back is, indeed, another story.
What you say: Yeah, I guess I need to cut back a little on those sweets, huh?
What you really mean: Yes, and you're ugly. Fortunately for me, labor will cure my present condition; you on the other hand...
If it's a girl, will you call it 'Holly' since you're due in December?
What you say: No, we kind of like the name Jennifer. That sure was a cute suggestion, though.
What you really mean: YOUR mother didn't call you "Fool" just because you were born April 1st. At least not to your face!
You STILL haven't had that baby?! or the equally popular WHEN are you going to have that baby?!
What you say: No, not yet, although I can't wait to meet him! Every extra day that I spend pregnant offers so many new discoveries and opportunities. I guess I can wait for now as I still have so much to do.
What you really mean: Hmmm... I don't know. Does it look like I've had this baby yet? Let me ask him: Baby soon, when do you plan on making your entrance? This lady appears to have a personal stake on when you arrive. Sorry Lady... he's just not talking.
Are you in labor?
What you say: No silly, it's just a little round ligament pain. My due date is still a week away.
What you really mean: ARRRGGGHHHH! Where's that boiled water I asked for?
Are you sure there is only one in there?
What you say: Ha ha, wouldn't that be nice? Boy and girl twins would be so romantic, don't you think?
What you really mean: Please, don't make me hit you. Clearly you think I'm as big as a house; perhaps you could find a little less obvious way to imply it.
When are you due? You look like you're about to pop!
What you say: My doctor says I can expect to be pregnant for the full 40 weeks. I hope I don't go late, though, because I want my mother to be able to come up and help me with the baby.
What you really mean: Yes, absolutely. I'm about to pop YOU!
WOW! You must be having a BIG baby!
What you say: Do you really think she looks big? My OB says that she's between six and seven pounds so far, so that doesn't seem TOO big.
What you really mean: Based on what? Are you saying I'm fat? Huh? Are you? Come over here and say that! Yeah, I thought not! Coward!
Why didn't you find out what you are having?
What you say: Gosh, we really don't want to know. We want it to be a surprise; a boy or a girl will be just fine with us.
What you really mean: Last time I checked, it was a baby. If it changes into a puppy or a hamster, you'll be the first to know.
You're going to call and let us know when you've had the baby aren't you?
What you say: Oh, sure! We're working on a detailed calling list and we've even set up a designated caller to make sure that every one knows the minute she's born!
What you really mean: Uhhh... Nope.
Wow, you are so much bigger with this kid than the others.
What you say: Do you really think so? The doctor has been monitoring me carefully, and I hope to keep the weight gain between 26 and 30 pounds.
What you really mean: I was just about to say the same thing about you. It seems you gain about 12 pounds for each of my pregnancies. What's up with that?
Are you having a contraction?
What you say: Yes, but just a Braxton-Hicks contraction. It's my uterus's way of practicing for the real thing.
What you really mean: You mean my torturous scream and the clumps of YOUR hair in MY fists didn't get that message across to you?
When are you going to hurry up and have this kid?
What you say: Hee hee... I was just thinking the same thing.
What you really mean: Oooph!! RIGHT NOW! I hope these aren't your good towels? You just had this carpet steam-cleaned, didn't you?
As always, when someone flips you a really stupid comment, count to ten ... or to one hundred if you have to. Just remember that your pregnancy isn't going to last forever, and you will soon be cuddling that little one in your arms. Unfortunately, that's when all the really annoying questions start flying your way!
by Claudia Guertinhttp://oxygen.com/topic/family/pregn..._20011109.html