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-   -   Better to comfort babies than let them cry (https://www.babyuniversity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=147777)

Lady Knight 06-05-2006 06:27 AM

Babies not held and soothed cried 50 percent more, study found.

At least for the first few weeks anyway

tailwaggers 06-05-2006 11:12 AM

I always found that to be true with Emily.

Lady Knight 06-05-2006 11:18 AM

I did the same with Greg but with the twins sometimes they just had to cry for a few minutes bc I was busy with the other one, I don't really remember them crying anymore than Greg did (none of my boys were big cryers as babies, but I do know that the two younger boys are not and never have been as physically affectionate as Greg was and still is.

I think babies that don't get lots of cuddles as new borns grow up to be physically distant (of course this is in no way a scientific fact just my opinion from raising two 'families' 6.5 years apart. )

tailwaggers 06-05-2006 11:23 AM

I agree with you. Of course, my parents were not at all affectionate, and I am very much a touchy-feely kind of girl. I think it was a conscious choice on my part to become that way (to be unlike my parents) and now it is natural for me.
With Emily, I held her a lot and comforted her when she cried. A lot of that stems from the fact that I didn't know if I would ever have another baby, and I knew she would be a baby for only a short time, so I decided to hold her, comfort her, and be affectionate with her. I didn't know if the outcome would be good or if it would result in a spoiled child, but I was willing to take the chance, and I am glad I did. She is very sweet and loving now.

Roxanna 06-05-2006 11:26 AM

Well this is one thing I feel terrible about .. with KR, I listened to "them" and let her cry it out .. but with Chase and kale I just went with my heart. KR is a bitter person ... don't know if it has anything to do with that or not .. but sure couldn't hurt to hold a baby and comfort them .. just let them know you are there.

tailwaggers 06-05-2006 11:33 AM

Rox, Don't be too hard on yourself. We have all been there and not known what to do. One of my older friends (she is almost old enough to be my mother) did all in her power to get me to let Emily cry it out, as did my husband. I tried several times to do it. I tried it for a week straight, and it tore my heart out. I felt like a terrible mom all around. The CIO method wasn't working--Emily cried harder and longer each day instead of it becoming less and less. On the flip side, I felt like a failure because I held her so much and comforted her, etc, and that wasn't what my friend and my DH thought was "right." Then, my WONDERFUL friend Doris told me to follow my heart, that you can't love a baby too much. She also told me that she did the CIO method with her daughter, but didn't use it with her son. That she held her son and comforted him and just followed her heart and her instincts. Her daughter is great, but very reserved and not affectionate. Her son is the opposite. She believes it has to do with the CIO vs. comforting, but like Maree said, Doris said she can't prove it, but that if she had it to do over, she would have followed her heart both times. So, that said, I can totally understand why you did it with KR. Who knows, if I had felt it worked with Emily, I probably would have stuck with it, even though it wasn't what I was comfortable with.

Roxanna 06-05-2006 11:36 AM

And you know .. she wasn't a crier. Maybe two times .. but she was very set on her sleeping. She went to sleep at 8pm .. no matter where we were! So .. who knows. I'm still using the CIO method on her!

tailwaggers 06-05-2006 11:47 AM

That is too funny Roxanna!

marylunn20 06-05-2006 12:01 PM

i tried to let my boys cio but i couldn't, it couldn't handle listening to them cry

Roxanna 06-05-2006 12:01 PM

Yea .. it is working much better now that she is a teen

marylunn20 06-05-2006 12:07 PM

Rox!

Jannie 06-05-2006 05:13 PM

I comforted both my babies. It broke my heart to see them crying. Still does,.

Tara 06-06-2006 12:58 AM

Roxanna, you crack me up, lol.

AndreaB 06-06-2006 03:31 AM

i never had to let logan cio,he never cried that much

Meghan 06-06-2006 05:52 PM

I rocked Nicole up until about 10 months, and then when I would try to rock her she'd be screaming and kicking and pinching and hitting, that I knew it wasn't doing much good for me to keep trying to rock her because I was getting frustrated, and I felt that it was better to let her CIO than for me to end up too frustrated with her. The first night it lasted about 15 minutes, after that less and less. It was really hard that first night, broke my heart and made me feel like a terrible mom, I felt like I should have more patience and be able to put up with the hitting and all that... But I knew that I couldn't put up with it, and the doctors had said it's better to let her cry than to get too frustrated.


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