Can you spoil a baby? - BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews
User Tag List

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 23 Old 06-14-2002, 11:36 PM - Thead Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,369
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Do you think babies can be spoiled .. or are you just giving your baby what he/she needs?

And if you can not spoil a baby .. at what age does it become spoiling??
Roxanna30135 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 23 Old 06-14-2002, 11:38 PM - Thead Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,369
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think a baby can be spoiled before 6 - 8 months old. I think at that age you are simply giving your baby what he/she needs. Maybe he needs to be held a little more today .. or he just doesn't like to be alone. And after that age it is not so much spoiling as it is routine. If you usually hold your baby all day long .. well of course he will feel badly when you don't!

Does that make sence?!?
Roxanna30135 is offline  
#3 of 23 Old 06-14-2002, 11:38 PM
Special Member
 
knee cole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
no on the babys. I would say at about 9-12 months then they can start being spoiled.

Unless you are a grandparent. Then you start the spoiling at birth.
knee cole is offline  
 
#4 of 23 Old 06-14-2002, 11:44 PM
Special Member
 
Dawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,706
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think they probably can be spoiled as young babies, but I don't believe it does any harm. I think they become accustomed to certain things, including the amount of time you spend holding them. As an example, I have a **** of a time getting Tyler to sleep without somebody holding him. Thank goodness for the Boppy pillow! He's just now starting to sleep without it, and that's only because he's decided he likes to sleep on his side and he can't roll over when he's snuggled in the Boppy.

But at any rate ... they're only babies once and it's for such a short time. I think they deserve all the spoiling you can spare!
Dawn is offline  
#5 of 23 Old 06-14-2002, 11:47 PM
Addicted Member
 
Lady Knight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: On th edge of reality in OZ
Posts: 10,222
Likes Earned: 11
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't know if it would be considered spoiling but I do think parents can make rods for their own backs. If you cuddle a child to sleep from day one, you will probably have to do it for months and spend weeks weaning them of the habit. Believe it or not, there will come a day when cuddling a child to sleep everynight is a severe inconvenience.

Also babies do not need to be picked up as soon as they open their eyes (IMO) let them get used to amusing themselves for a few minutes (I'm not taking 1/2 an hour or anything silly here).

Of course all bets are off if the child is unwell, then if baby needs to be held 24/7 then that is what baby needs.
Lady Knight is offline  
#6 of 23 Old 06-15-2002, 04:02 AM
Addicted Member
 
Liz&NicksMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: In a house with a bunch of walls, windows and doors
Posts: 25,967
Likes Earned: 15
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think that until around 9 months you can't spoil a baby. you are giving the baby what he/she needs in order to survive.
Liz&NicksMom is offline  
#7 of 23 Old 06-15-2002, 04:03 AM
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 7,977
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd have to agree with Dawn. Up to 8-9 months, they need to be spoiled, if you can even call it that.
AutumnGirl is offline  
#8 of 23 Old 06-15-2002, 05:01 AM
Moderator
 
Spaggie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Katy, Texas (Houston)
Posts: 26,357
Likes Earned: 22
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The kids dr actually told me that it is impossible to spoil a baby before 6 months of age. Up to that point, you are only giving them what they need. After that, I guess you could be spoiling them, but how can you resist! I don't really think picking them up is spoiling them. Ally is constantly up and down from my lap. I don't think I am spoiling her. Whenever she needs to reconnect with me, she comes over, sits with me for a few minuites and then is off again playing. Sometimes they just need to remind themselves that you are still there.

~*~Brenda~*~
mom to Drew (16) High School At Last!
mom to Ally (10) 4th Grade, Baby! WooHoo!

Parenthood:  That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.  ~Marcelene Cox  Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children.  ~Marilyn Penland
Spaggie is offline  
#9 of 23 Old 06-15-2002, 07:07 AM
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 18,933
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree..not until about a year and even then????

I figure they are only babies once and so what if I have to hold them to go to sleep. 20 years from now I will wish they were small again so I can hold them.
Meagan is offline  
#10 of 23 Old 06-15-2002, 07:42 AM
Advanced Member
 
Kristenph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: NC
Posts: 914
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Maree, you took the words out of my mouth! (Actually, you said it better than I would )
Kristenph is offline  
#11 of 23 Old 06-15-2002, 08:46 AM
Addicted Member
 
MeShell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 14,046
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Everyone tells me, it's good for her lungs to let her cry. Want to know what I started telling people that said that? It's better for her heart to smile!
MeShell is offline  
#12 of 23 Old 06-15-2002, 09:40 AM
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 18,933
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh Michele that is a good saying!
Meagan is offline  
#13 of 23 Old 06-15-2002, 02:34 PM
Addicted Member
 
Liz&NicksMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: In a house with a bunch of walls, windows and doors
Posts: 25,967
Likes Earned: 15
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I like that saying Michele
Liz&NicksMom is offline  
#14 of 23 Old 06-17-2002, 02:35 PM
Senior Member
 
baileysmama14's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Where it's always Hot!!
Posts: 364
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I believe you CAN spoil babies. 0-6 months probably not, but if they cry just to be held and you run to them and hold them, they will never learn to fall asleep on their own, or play by themselves.

I would NEVER let Bailey cry when she was little....I'd do everything in my power to stop her crying. My dh and mom had to tell me that it's ok to let them cry a bit. Eventually, Bailey learned to soothe herself to sleep and could entertain herself instead of needing my 100% attention. I'm glad I learned that early b/c now I have a 2nd child who needs my attention.

Just my opinion.
baileysmama14 is offline  
#15 of 23 Old 06-17-2002, 03:03 PM
Special Member
 
AWKSMOM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: The Twilight Zone
Posts: 7,753
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think you can spoil a baby and don't really know when providing for their every need starts to become spoiling. I still run to Alexander whenever he needs or wants me and he is 21 months.

Alexander is an independent, out-going, and well-adjusted little boy who plays a lot on his own and doesn't expect us to entertain him constantly. I think because we met his every need as a baby and still do now, he feels confident enough to explore and do things on his own because he knows he can rely on us to be there when he needs us.

Not that other children aren't the same way who weren't held constantly or rocked to sleep, but like Meagan said, they are only young once and the day will come when we wished we had held them more.

I really like that saying, Michelle!!
AWKSMOM is offline  
#16 of 23 Old 06-19-2002, 05:17 AM
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 0
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can remember being told by many well meaning people not to pick up my baby everytime he cried. It went against my instincts and I'm positive his long drawn out "colic" was the result. With my 2nd child I followed my heart and carried him around and picked him up when he seemed to need it, what a shock when i realized he was such a happy little guy. Spoiling a baby seems like an impossibility, especially the first year of life. I think a mom's instincts tell them when it's time to wait before picking them up everytime they cry. All babies mature at different rates and the parents need to follow the cues. I can only speak from my own exeriences but spoiling seems to me to be a misnomer, almost like giving something instead of love. Babies need all the assurances we can give, they too will grow up and realize what the real world is soon enough. This small blink in time will pass and it will make you and baby feel better if he knows he can depend on you for his needs at this vunerable time.
scarletmanx is offline  
#17 of 23 Old 06-19-2002, 01:45 PM
Addicted Member
 
Stink_Momma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Testostorone Trail
Posts: 13,901
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with Awksmom- my son is the same. I hold him when he wants to be held, hug and kiss when he wants that. He is very well adjusted and will play on his own for hours. It's only when he is tired or sick that he is clingy and for that matter, I am to!! I think there is a difference in spoiling with our love and attention then to spoil by buying everything they want and giving in to all their demands. I shower my son with attention and love but still tell him No when it is needed!
Stink_Momma is offline  
#18 of 23 Old 06-20-2002, 06:07 PM
Addicted Member
 
AnnieQ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Indiana
Posts: 20,344
Likes Earned: 10
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I do not think you can spoil a baby. I think you are giving the child what it needs, since they are unable to talk and tell us what they want. I would have to say by age 1 or 1 if you continue to do the things you are doing then yes that is making a child spoiled.
AnnieQ is offline  
#19 of 23 Old 06-21-2002, 02:49 PM
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You DEFINITELY cannot spoil a baby in the first six months. My daughter is just over six months. I think I will still believe this until she's at least one, but I have just started second-guessing myself every now and then.
analisa_roche is offline  
#20 of 23 Old 06-21-2002, 02:54 PM
Special Member
 
Jenn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,563
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think a baby can be spoiled when they are very young. When Connor was first born he would not sleep unless you were holding him. The second you put him down he would wake up and scream. So he had to be put in his crib and he would fall asleep on his own after about 10 minutes. But he is a great sleeper now, the odd time he will fall asleep in our arms, but when you put him to bed he stays asleep.
I pretty much agreed with what Dawn said.
Jenn is offline  
#21 of 23 Old 06-21-2002, 03:07 PM
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by Dawn
I think they become accustomed to certain things, including the amount of time you spend holding them. As an example, I have a **** of a time getting Tyler to sleep without somebody holding him. Thank goodness for the Boppy pillow!...I think they deserve all the spoiling you can spare!


Meg is only a few days older than Tyler and we have the same issue. I don't really mind holding her to sleep (or putting her in the swing!) but I know that won't be OK forever...so I'm curious how you use the Boppy for this. Meg falls asleep nursing on the Boppy and then I put her in our bed. But it sounds like you put Tyler down with the Boppy?
analisa_roche is offline  
#22 of 23 Old 06-21-2002, 04:14 PM
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by Michelle1
Everyone tells me, it's good for her lungs to let her cry. Want to know what I started telling people that said that? It's better for her heart to smile!


Oh my gosh, I LOVE it! May I quote you?
analisa_roche is offline  
#23 of 23 Old 06-21-2002, 07:42 PM
Addicted Member
 
AnnieQ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Indiana
Posts: 20,344
Likes Earned: 10
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Michelle 1 that is so sweet and you are right.
AnnieQ is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off