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#1 of 2 Old 06-15-2003, 06:39 PM - Thead Starter
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I can't get my baby to sleep in her own room. She only wants to sleep with me or on the couch (I watch her very carefully there). Once in awhile I can get her to sleep in her baby chair in her room, but most of the time she wants to be around people 24/7 even when she is sleeping. Also, she has a hard time sleeping without breastfeeding. Is this a problem? My dh thinks that it is, because it is hard to get her to sleep without it. She's only 7 weeks old. I think she's fine, but these habits bother my dh - especially since no one but me can get her to sleep.

He plays with her a lot and I take care of all her needs like changing, feeding, bathing - etc. She seems to see him as the Play Dad and me as the Sleep Mom. How can we even out these roles? I have suggested he help out on these routine care taking tasks, but he refuses and says that my family will call him a child molester if he does and maybe call the cops on him. Possibly true, they are like that. However, they could do that to me too and I think it's a lame excuse since I quit talking to them a couple months before she was born. I think they are more likely to call the cops or CPS on me than him, because they hate me more since I'm not putting up with their crap (abusive ways) anymore.

Also, I read that there are a lot of psychological benefits from breastfeeding. What are they? Thank you!

 
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#2 of 2 Old 06-23-2003, 12:33 AM
 
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Okay Grace, let's try and sort this out...first, I am definitely an advocate of breastfeeding. There have been many documented benefits for the baby. So there is no reason to stop and if you can do it for at least a year, all the better. However, this doesn't mean that your baby should all asleep at the breast (except perhaps in the middle of the night feeding). It's best to nurse only until she is relaxed, but not sleeping, then put her in her bed. It may take some time to get her used to this...you can pat her, sing to her, sit near her, but certainly she should learn to fall asleep in her bed, if you and your husband want to encourage this, rather than having a family bed. You will have to be persistent, however, I don't advocate allowing a 7 week old to cry hysterically to go to sleep. You will probably have to help her out a lot until she gets used to it.

Next, to the issue of your husband not being a "sleep dad" or helping with other baby tasks. He will miss out on a great deal of his child's develpoment if all he does is play with her. As for your family's accusations, it sounds like a good idea that you don't talk to them, but I can't help wondering if there's more to it than that if he's still worried that they'll accuse him of awful things. I think you and he need to have some serious discussions about your family and how they are impacting on your marriage because I am willing to bet that there are many unresolved issues in this area. Good luck.
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