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#1 of 6 Old 05-24-2004, 02:19 AM - Thead Starter
 
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Kyra is almost 13 mos and still isn't sleeping through the night. She will wake up anywhere from 2-6 times a night. She still nurses and we are trying to cut back during the day-she is actually doing much better with not nursing as much during the day but she wakes up at night wanting the comfort of the breast I have tried to sooth her and just rock her when she wakes, I have also tried to give her the pacifier and it has been flung across the room. I always make sure that I lay her down before she is completely asleep so that she can comfort herself to sleep. I make sure that she has a dry diaper before bed and that she has had a good dinner. I've tried routines of the same thing every night and it doesn't seem to matter. I am ready to pull my hair out I don't know what else I can try. She has never required much sleep-even as an infant but I would love to sleep a full eight hours. Any suggestions?
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#2 of 6 Old 05-24-2004, 04:07 AM
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My dd is 13 months old and does not sleep through the night either. I thought giving her a hearty meal before bed would work, but it only made her sleep slightly longer and I really don't want her to get into the habit of needing a large meal before bed. I am just sort of resigned to breastfeeding her every few hours at night. IMO my dd is just growing a lot right now and is truely hungry several times a night. I'm afraid I am no help at all. I keep thinking one day she'll grow out of it, then before I know it, she'll be a teenager and I'll be up all night worrying about her then too.

 
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#3 of 6 Old 05-24-2004, 10:35 AM - Thead Starter
 
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Thanks. I know that she really isn't hungry when she wakes. Its more of a comfort thing. It's funny too because the couple of times that she has slept longer-I wake up anyway to check and make sure that she is okay. I really don't mind getting up with her, I enjoy the closeness that I have when I nurse her but I am scared that she won't ever be able to comfort herself. Many times when she wakes, she doesn't even cry-she stands at the edge of the crib and yells, "Jess!" so that I will go in for her. She's finally getting better at calling me mom not Jess but it still happens. I don't want to push her into something she isn't ready for but I don't want to have a co-dependency thing with her either. I don't even want to think of her as a teenager....
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#4 of 6 Old 05-24-2004, 12:07 PM
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I'm like Liz in this instance.
I have a 2 1/2 year old... and I can count the number of times he's slept through the night on my hand - UNLESS he's sleeping with us.
<sigh>

good luck!!!
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#5 of 6 Old 05-24-2004, 12:11 PM
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My daughter is 15 months and is just starting to sleep through the night. We co-sleep and she too wants to nurse when she wakes up at night solely for comfort. It helps me that we co-sleep but I still long for when she's sleeping through the night every night. She's getting there, though, and so will your little girl.
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#6 of 6 Old 06-04-2004, 01:20 PM
 
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Hi Jessica,
I think this comes down to whether you are ready to separate from your daughter during the night. At 13 months a child is able, physiologically, to sleep though the night without requiring food or milk. Some families do not believe in allowing their children to cry, as a parenting philosophy. I'm not sure if this is your case, or whether you've just slipped into this situation. If it's the former, you need to resign yourself to sleeplessness for as long as it lasts, which could be for many years. If you have slipped into it, let me explain a couple of things--if you keep on nursing her every time she wakes up, her body will become used to it and she will actually feel hungry which will reinforce the waking--i.e.--your body is accustomed to meals at certain times and you start to feel hungry at those times. If you set your alarm and woke up to eat every night at 3 a.m, your body would soon get used to it and soon you wouldn't need the alarm clock. To break her of this you will have to stop feeding her through the night. It may be difficult at first and she will probably cry until her body gets used to a different sleep/eating cycle, but within a few weeks--probably much less--she will sleep better.

As many of you know from having read my posts over the years, I am a great believer in teaching babies to sleep through the night. Learning to soothe yourself when you are going to sleep or back to sleep when you wake up during the night, is a life long skill that translates directly into having frustration tolerance and the ability to take care of your own needs through childhood and into adult hood. Not allowing children to cry at night, and continuing to feed them several times a night, is an aspect of attachment parenting with which I vigorously disagree--I don't think that it is in the service of the child's best interests (as most other parts of attachment parenting are) but rather it meets the needs of parents who are struggling to allow their children to separate. It also doesn't allow parents to explore their own feelings and fears of gradual oss around control over their children's live as the children grow through developmental stages. Children will inevitably become more and more independant and this can start in infancy by helping them to remain, literally, tethered to your breast. Instead you can teach them to sleep alone (be independant) and start to develop a stronger inner ego. Well, I've said a mouthful, hope some of it helps.
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