At my wits end! - BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews

At my wits end!

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Stink_Momma's Avatar Stink_Momma
08:50 AM 07-19-2010
I need some advice quick before I lose it with Ryan. He is 4 1/2 and driving me nuts with his attitude and temper tantrums. They happen at least 1x every night, and multiple times on the weekends and I just don't know what to do with him. Brandon and Justin never acted like this, never tested us the way Ryan is. Nothing works with him, time outs, sit in bedroom, take things away, ignore him, spank him, etc. When he gets in his mode, he will jump on me, throw things, knock stuff off tables, stomp his feet, scream. I am at the point now where I love him to death because he is my son, but as a person, I don't like him so much. My MIL, SIL and neice are in town, and got to witness this first hand last night. He got mad because he wanted to listen to Justins MP3 player, but it was dead and Brandons was in the van. Brandon didn't want to go get it for him, so he lost it. I went and sat on the couch and he comes over screaming, pulling at me, jumping on me, as I calmly kept putting him back on his butt on the floor as MIL just watched and so it went on for about 1/2 an hour. I ended up calling John and finally admitting to him and myself that I don't like my child right now. What a terrible feeling to have. I ended up crying, my SIL asking if I was all right. MIL disappeared at some point during it, probably so she didn't have to show her disappointment in me as a mother (I am a bad wife also because John and I don't talk nice to each other). I talked with Ryan afterward and told him that right now I am not liking him and I really don't want to be around him. I don't know what to do for us to not go through this. We both cried, but I doubt it will make a difference. What do I do?? Is this normal 3rd child behavior? I feel like he gets more attention than any of the boys because I am leery of going through another tantrum.
LittleBit's Avatar LittleBit
09:36 AM 07-19-2010
No words of advice other than that the comment about your MIL is bs... You are not a bad Mom or a bad Wife.
Karah has always been more of a handful than her sister's are, but she has some issues that aren't normal (although nothing diagnosed). If she gets started on a screaming fit it can last for hours (thankfully she will stay in her room with it though).
ryann2's Avatar ryann2
11:30 AM 07-19-2010
Aaron was like that, our ped had him tested, he has ADHD with some other sensory issues and is on Meds that have saved us. Talk to your ped.
Stink_Momma's Avatar Stink_Momma
11:36 AM 07-19-2010
How old was Aaron when you had that diagnosed? When we had the meeting with the Ped for Brandon, I asked what age do they normally diagnose that, because I told him how Ryan would act. He said very rare that it would be at his age. We have an appt on Aug 5 for his well-check so I plan on asking what is going on.
simonne's Avatar simonne
06:46 PM 07-19-2010
This really does sound like adhd my friends daughter used to do this till they got her on some meds.
ryann2's Avatar ryann2
11:57 AM 07-20-2010
Aaron was first diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder at 3. Loud noises, overloaded environments just sent him over the edge. He did OT, no drugs at that point. When he was 4 1/2 I talked to the ped because he was better but still had over the top tantrums (kicking, the whole deal). That's when we got the ADHD diagnosis with some OCD. But here at 10, he is a different kid. He still has some issues letting things go, but we are no where NEAR where we were at 3-4. It will get better, you just need help. Ask for it and don't give up. I sat in my ped's office one morning and cried on his shoulder about the fact that I didn't want to end up not liking my own child. That's when he sent me to a behavioral ped and we started the process. GL and keep us posted...
Spaggie's Avatar Spaggie
01:30 PM 07-20-2010
Sounds like he has some sensory issues. We went thru this with Ally, but it wasn't quite so bad since I knew what I was looking at. Drew has severe ADD, but we didn't have the tantrums with him. AFter all the research I did when he was diagnosed, I knew Ally had ADHD (again severe), so I knew what it was at an early age. Meds are a lifesaver. Talk to your ped. Ally was diagnosed at 4, started meds at 6. Same with Drew.
Stink_Momma's Avatar Stink_Momma
03:35 PM 07-20-2010
We are going for his wellcheck on August 5, so I am going to ask about it. I would much rather know there is a medical reason for it then just that he is being a difficult child. At least then I know there are things I can do to help him! THANKS!!
Spaggie's Avatar Spaggie
07:27 PM 07-23-2010
Let us know how things go at this checkup.
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