I think you just have to be as honest as you can be with everyone involved. Certainly removing this child from his abusive mother is very important, but protecting your own family is equally so. I also find myself in a difficult custody arrangement, with all responsiblity on us, not the child's mother. There is often talk of going for full custody, but I admit the idea sometimes scares me alot. The worst part if, letting go of plans that you had made or ideas of a future that will be sooo different than what you thought! I agree with the lady above, you should talk to someone who can give you legal and personal assitance, you cannot do it alone! Best wishes.