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#1 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 02:06 AM - Thead Starter
 
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He's driving me nuts! I thought having him here when Gabe was born would be good, he'd be able to help out. He does cook and do dishes but otherwise he's driving me crazy. Mike and I wanted to get grocery shopping done and he rolled his eyes at me when I asked him to keep Gabe so we didn't have to take him to the store. HELLO!! The kid is going to sleep the whole time I'm gone, and what else are you doing?!!

He STILL doesn't have a job. He's waiting for one place to call him back, but what if they don't?! So he hasn't kept looking in the mean time. Mike and I had money in the bank to get us through til I could go back to work and it's all GONE! Having to feed one extra person mattered. We're coming up short now. There's bills we've had to not pay again. I thought we were done with that. If we hadn't gotten $100 in grocery gift cards for Xmas we would have not eaten this week. There's NO extra money, we can NOT go anywhere but to and from work (for Mike). Even then we'll be cutting it close.

I'm afraid that we're not going to have money for diapers/formula. It might sound silly that feeding one extra person mattered to us but it really does. My dad is a 3 meal a day person, Mike and I aren't. So it starts to add up. He also cooks for an army, and it's things that don't keep well. I specifically got 2 things for myself and even when I told both my dad and Mike not to eat them, my dad did. I was bummed.

I'm just praying he gets a job, I know he's depressed about not working. Not looking doesn't help that though. He wants to make way too much money for most jobs. He's not willing to work at the gas station for $8. He expects to make more then Mike, and we lived on that, why isn't it good enough for him?! I'm just frustrated. He's got no where else to go, I know I'm it. We just really need him to work to bring in ANY money for us. A lousy $150 a month would make a huge difference in our lives. How sad is that? UGH I just don't know what to do. Paying bills and trying to budget grocery and gas money stresses both Mike and me out. I end up crying and feeling bad that I'm not bringing in any money myself.

I hope all of this made sense, I'm tired and annoyed and rambling.
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#2 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 02:17 AM
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#3 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 02:46 AM
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sounds like you need to sit down with your dad and have a total heart to heart with him. EVen though it is hard to do (trust me i have been there, done that) it needs to get done. Your dad needs to realize that you are not working, only mike is, and now you have a new baby to care for.....and an extra mouth to feed (your dad) that you were not counting on having to totally pay for.

Good luck in 2007 hon, i hope its way more prosperous for us all than 2006
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#4 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 02:54 AM
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My mom was "helpful" as well after I had Zach.
I hope things get better.

Elaine White

I'd love to be the ideal mother but I'm too busy raising my kids.

Haley Olivia 8-17-96 ~ Zachary Tyler 4-30-01 ~ Asher Mackenzie born an angel 2-26-03 ~ Brenna Grace 5-4-06
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#5 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 09:43 AM
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It doesn't sound silly at all that one extra mouth to feed messed up your budget! Men eat a lot, you aren't talking about a little kids mouth here...
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#6 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 12:07 PM
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Michele is right. You're going to have to be very honest with him about the money situation and his contributions. Since he's not working, I don't think asking him to babysit while you do the grocery shopping is unreasonable.

 
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#7 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 12:59 PM
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Why doesn't he get a job at the gas station to help pay for things while he's looking for his ideal job? That doesn't seem too much to ask.

Kim
DH Chris 8-6-94 **15 Years! **

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." Warren Buffett
Mom to Lauren 10/26/04 & Ryan 4/6/06 MC 3/22/07 Comet (10-5-09... RIP Bubba) Visit me @
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#8 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 03:34 PM
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Can you get on WIC for formula?
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#9 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 04:05 PM - Thead Starter
 
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Yea I'm on WIC already. I had to leave a message saying I had the baby since it was the holiday and no one has been there since. I'm going to call again tomorrow to find out if I have to bring Gabe in with me. I have no idea how much formula WIC will give us. I was smart and stocked up on formula, we have about a months worth.

Kim, I agree that he should work ANYWHERE while waiting for a better job, but he thinks he's better then that and deserves more. It's very frustrating. I mean I plan to work wherever I can get a job, gas station, grocery store, Mcdonald's ANYTHING that can make money. Why can't he?!

He knows how tight we are on money. It's just frustrating.
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#10 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 04:46 PM
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I am sorry you and Mike are going through this right now, Mel I would be more stressful now that you also have little Gabe too and you are trying to get a schedule going of sleeping and other things. I hope your Dad gets a job and things get better. I agree with Michele that you need to have a heart to heart with your Dad, I know it will be hard for you being the daughter and your Dad being the parent but I think he needs to understand the situation.
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#11 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 04:59 PM
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Gosh, what a tough situation! I hope that ya'll can get your message across to him some how
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#12 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 06:34 PM
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Honey look up and see if there is a food pantry in the area. You would get enough food for the four of you. Sometimes there is even formula available. Shoot if you want to come to Lomira on Saturday morning between 10-11 and we can hook you up. Sorry your dad isn't much of a help. He might feel afraid of Gabe for being alone with him right now. I would talk to him too.
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#13 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 07:46 PM
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As hard as it may be, you have got to level with your dad. Y'all cannot go on like this. And Gabe's well being is now the top priority, it's not right for you to worry about how you will provide for him because of your dad not towing the line.

Tammy
wife to Kyle 4/27/96
Proud mom of two fabulous kids:
Emily 1/11/03
Travis 10/6/06
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#14 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 08:08 PM - Thead Starter
 
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I'm afraid to confront him about it, since I know he's depressed I'm afraid he'll just leave. He's got no where to go and will end up living out of his car. I can't let that happen. Just that he gets a job soon, or at least can start collecting unemployment again.
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#15 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 08:09 PM
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Next Saturday you better come up to see me in Lomira.
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#16 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 08:21 PM
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Mel, I understand that you don't want to do anything to upset your dad or make him feel worse, but honey, you have to face your own reality. You cannot go on supporting him, and honestly, it sounds like he is using this job that might come through as an excuse to do no more job hunting, which we all know is risky and just a bad idea. He needs your honesty, even if it's hard for you to level with him, even if it makes him feel worse. You don't have to be confrontational. You could approach it very compassionately and just let him know how concerned you are for him, and that at the same time, you and Mike are struggling so much that you don't know if you can provide for your baby. Let him know that you don't want him to leave, you just need him to get an income of any amount just to help. If you don't think he'll listen, write it down. I think waiting for him to get it together is going to prove to be a long and fruitless journey.

Tammy
wife to Kyle 4/27/96
Proud mom of two fabulous kids:
Emily 1/11/03
Travis 10/6/06
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#17 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 08:36 PM
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Yep, I agree with Tammy. It doesn't have to be a confrontational thing at all.

Just level with him.... say Dad... while you are living with us, we really need some sort of financial contribution to the household, especially since Gabe is here now. Would you possibly be able to pick up at least a part time job while you are looking for your ideal job? It would sure help us out a lot.

Just phrasing it as helping out the family while he's trying to better himself might do the trick. Just a thought.

Good luck, Mel.

Kim
DH Chris 8-6-94 **15 Years! **

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." Warren Buffett
Mom to Lauren 10/26/04 & Ryan 4/6/06 MC 3/22/07 Comet (10-5-09... RIP Bubba) Visit me @
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#18 of 19 Old 01-01-2007, 11:59 PM
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i hope you can find a way to talk to your dad and get through to him!
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#19 of 19 Old 01-02-2007, 04:24 PM
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