Aren't baby births supposed to be a happy time??? - BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews
User Tag List

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 9 Old 11-01-2007, 05:38 PM - Thead Starter
Addicted Member
 
dinapooh2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Owasso, OK
Posts: 11,331
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OK—Not sure where to start with this.

My inlaws were here for Labor Day. We had a nice visit. Probably the best visit we’ve had with them since they moved to Louisiana. No pressure to move down there. No comments on our parenting techniques. Just a nice visit. Well, the day they left, they brought up the issue of coming back when the baby was born. Bob told them that was fine, but we are making the spare room into the baby’s room, and we don’t have a place for them to sleep. Plus, we will have my parents here, too. My mom wasn’t able to be there for Jonathan’s birth, and if her health is OK, she is going to be there this time. We don’t have room for everybody. We don’t have beds for everybody. If they want to come, they will have to stay in a hotel. FIL said that was fine. They would come and take care of Jonathan while I was in the hospital (take him back and forth to school, etc.) and give Bob time to take care of me and be at the hospital with me if I needed something.

Well, as time has gone on, Bob and his dad have talked about things, and we just assumed that this was still going to be the plan. They would come up for the delivery and stay in a hotel for a week and then go home. The same with my parents. His parents have been really kind of pushy about trying to find out when my surgery date was going to be, and until this week, I really didn’t know. My doctor has been waiting to see how my health would pan out before he scheduled a date. Well, yesterday he said the 26th or 27th, barring any problems. Well, MIL calls today and tells me that she is being pressured by her boss to give them her vacation schedule, and wants to know if they’ve scheduled my surgery. I told her the dates, and she said “Well, that’s after Thanksgiving, and we thought it was going to be the week of Thanksgiving.” Well, Thanksgiving is a little early this year. They wanted to come for Thanksgiving and stay through the birth. So, they wanted to know why we didn’t schedule it for that week. Well, I don’t really want to have the baby too early. They can come and stay as long as they want. It doesn’t matter when I have the baby. I told her it was up to her. My parents were waiting to schedule their trip until they could find out when the inlaws would be here. MIL and FIL could come any time they wanted, but how long they wanted to stay would depend on how much they could afford for their hotel. Well, she freaked out. She said they were planning on staying with us and they couldn’t afford a hotel because of how much the Ohio house was costing them (yeah, it’s still on the market). WHERE are they gonna stay? We don’t have any beds, and we’ve already got baby stuff in the extra room. Her idea… On an air mattress in our living room, apparently. I told her that this was news to me, and that I had been led to believe all along that everybody was staying in a hotel. I didn’t know they planned to be here for Thanksgiving, and that I really didn’t plan on having 8 people in my house. So, MIL was ticked off that I was expecting them to stay in a hotel. She also seems to be upset that my mom is planning to be here and doesn’t want to be here at the same time.



I called DH and told him I thought that I’d upset his mom. I didn’t mean to, but it was obvious that what he and his dad had been discussing was NOT what his mom thought was going on. SO, he wasn't too happy, but said he'd deal with it. So, I guess now he has to call and talk to his dad and tell him what’s going on with mom. I though that this was all figured out.

I know, I'm really hormonal right now, but I would just like everybody to get along and to be able to have some peace and privacy.
dinapooh2 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 9 Old 11-01-2007, 05:51 PM
Special Member
 
AndreaB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 9,795
Likes Earned: 18
Likes Given: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
it sounds like as usual the inlaws are making uneccessary waves, sorry dina

i would suggest that you let dh worry about his parents and you worry about yours... your mom if healthy enough deserves to be there for this baby.

it will all turn out ok. i just hope you don't end up with a houseful that you don't have room for
AndreaB is offline  
#3 of 9 Old 11-01-2007, 06:27 PM
Special Member
 
marylunn20's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,113
Likes Earned: 10
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'm sure everything will turn out ok. Let your dh deal with his parents!!
marylunn20 is offline  
 
#4 of 9 Old 11-01-2007, 08:00 PM - Thead Starter
Addicted Member
 
dinapooh2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Owasso, OK
Posts: 11,331
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You know, I don't mind having them here for Thanksgiving. But it's not my fault that the baby isn't coming that week like they thought it was. I can't schedule major surgery to make it easier on somebody else's schedule. It's between my health and the doctor's schedule. It just irritates me that everybody else has their own agenda, and nobody checks with anybody else to make sure that the plans are all going to mesh.
dinapooh2 is offline  
#5 of 9 Old 11-02-2007, 10:31 PM
Addicted Member
 
Liz&NicksMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: In a house with a bunch of walls, windows and doors
Posts: 25,967
Likes Earned: 15
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
SOrry your MIL is being like that. I can understand you not wanting anyone to stay there, I mean heck you all need your space and stuff too....and if there is no where for them to sleep than what does she expect
Liz&NicksMom is offline  
#6 of 9 Old 11-05-2007, 10:17 AM
Special Member
 
knee cole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,625
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Worry about you and the baby. Let MIL deal with herself.
knee cole is offline  
#7 of 9 Old 11-19-2007, 03:40 AM
Newbie
 
The_Cheshire_Ca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I totally agree. In our marriage it is MY family (mainly my mom) that is the PITA. I deal with her. My ILs are a blessing.

Have your husband handle his parents & you concentrate on being healthy.
The_Cheshire_Ca is offline  
#8 of 9 Old 11-19-2007, 06:09 PM
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,126
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry you dealing with that! Let your hubby deal with your IL's and you worry abput yourself and the baby!
dijuva is offline  
#9 of 9 Old 03-16-2008, 06:26 PM
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 0
Likes Earned: 0
Likes Given: 0
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
aww yah, i had a horrible birth myself. not rlly inlaws/family drama, more stupid hospital problems.
but ugh, sounds like they are trying to make it "their" way with the preparations. uve alrdy got SO MUCH going on! its GREAT that ur husband is going to handle it, now i hope he handles it properly. my husband couldnt stand up or say anything to his parents if his life depended on it.
gluck with the baby
paviwc is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the BabyUniversity.com - Baby and parenting forums and reviews forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off