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#1 of 6 Old 07-14-2010, 07:58 PM - Thead Starter
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Okay my mom and dad were married and shortly within the same year of marriage my mom had the aneurysm. She has the short term memory loss. At that point my mother siblings gave my dad an out. Before children or anything. Said he could walk away and they would take care of her. He stayed.

They divorced after 23 years of marriage when I was 18. My dad was ordered to pay her alimony for the rest of his life. They split with my dad getting his pension and my mom getting the house. This is back in 1990. If my mom would have gotten out then she would have made out with so much more. She didn't.

My dad is getting ready to retire and now that she is living up here want to retire and stop paying her and told me he wants to make her a "ward of the state".

1 way I feel is that he worked his whole life and should get his retirement.
2 the way I feel is that he had his chance and should have gotten out then.

my mom worked her butt off when they were married but hasn't worked in a good 10 years. All she will get now if he drops the alimony is SSD. I know alot of people only live off that but is that fair.

What are your views?
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#2 of 6 Old 07-14-2010, 08:00 PM - Thead Starter
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Dad said to me 2 weeks ago... Is she all settled there because I need to take her to court now.

My dads house is HUGE. 4 bedroom 3 bath, large yard and theater room and work out room and lots of other stuff. My moms apartment fits in his living room!
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#3 of 6 Old 07-14-2010, 10:10 PM
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Without knowing your parents or their situation on a personal basis, I'm going to side with your father. He's paid alimony now for ... how many years? Long term alimony is almost a thing of the past ... archaic possibly? It came about during a time when the male of the household had the bulk of the financial responsibilty and the woman often gave up a career to raise the children. You said yourself that your mother worked during the marriage ... she helped in the financial responsibility ... so without her, your father suffered a finacial loss as well ... and then he paid on top of it.
Your father's pension is his ... he worked hard for it. He deserves to retire comfortably. Your mother destroyed her part of the settlement ... had she taken care of the home, she could have sold it and "retired" comfortably as well. I understand there was mental illness involved so I don't blame her for her actions ... but should your father pay for them?

Elaine White

I'd love to be the ideal mother but I'm too busy raising my kids.

Haley Olivia 8-17-96 ~ Zachary Tyler 4-30-01 ~ Asher Mackenzie born an angel 2-26-03 ~ Brenna Grace 5-4-06
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#4 of 6 Old 07-14-2010, 10:53 PM
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I agree with Elaine. Your dad shouldn't have to pay for your mom's mistakes. He has paid alimony for 20 years, that's a long time, the longest I have ever heard of someone paying alimony.
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#5 of 6 Old 07-15-2010, 06:39 PM
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I disagree. He agreed to pay aliminy FOR LIFE. I could understand a reduced amount once he is retired and living only off his pension, but not getting rid of it entirely. JMO

~*~Brenda~*~
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mom to Ally (10) 4th Grade, Baby! WooHoo!

Parenthood:  That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.  ~Marcelene Cox  Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children.  ~Marilyn Penland
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#6 of 6 Old 07-26-2010, 03:36 PM - Thead Starter
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Thank you
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